"This is... difficult for me to say. When we met, I- it was happenstance. I did not know who my Jedi escorts would be on that trip. I did not know who you were, but I quickly determined that you were- valuable. That you were a relationship I should cultivate. And so that is what I began to do."

"After Chandrila, I began to realize that I was making a mistake. That you were not simply an asset, that you were a person. And that you were a person I cared about. Someone I could appreciate for more than what they do, more than their power, someone I could appreciate for who they are. Your wit, your curiosity, your drive, your energy... I like you, Anakin. And I did not expect to."

"Because of that... I owe you the truth, before we go farther. You deserve to make your own decisions, and all the information you need to do so."

"Oh."

That Elesse hadn't immediately liked her shouldn't hurt like this - most people don't love as quickly as Anakin does - but that some of their early relationship had been for an advantage -

Anakin acknowledges her hurt, faces her uncertainty and self doubt, her creeping dread of what could have happened if Anakin was more reckless with pursuing a relationship earlier, and acknowledges too that things have clearly changed -

And she sets them aside, straightening her back and releasing her worry and pain with every careful, meditative breath. (She refuses to let her doubts control her, here. They were threatening to win against her earlier, but...)

Anakin's mind calms.

(It's easier to be brave for other people.)

"Thank you," she says, sincerely, "For telling me this, and for - offering to disclose further."

"I care about you, too. And - I swear that whatever ultimate judgment I make, I won't make it in haste."

She nods. "Thank you."

"But-"

"That is not all. You should open the box, now."

She does so, looking down at it. 

Inside the box-

A slim metal cylinder, silvery, with intricately intertwined gold and black filigree. A curve in the profile to nestle into a palm, ribs to keep the grip from slipping.

It's very obviously a lightsaber.

And equally obviously, it is attuned to the dark side.

Deep breath. 

"Oh."

Deep breath. 

She doesn't need to even ask. She - she can feel it. 

"This is yours," she says, voice quiet, trying to acknowledge and sort her confused maelstrom of emotions (the dark side energy has brought her other half to where she's hovering just behind Anakin's eyes, having her own storm of emotions, which - is not helping. Anakin nudges that presence without her, a give me space, and receives a tiny sorry as her other half detangles a bit - but doesn't retreat, hovering just in case she needs to protect Anakin).

Deep breath.

"I'm still not making a judgment yet," she says, more firmly than she feels - but that proclamation brings its own strength, allows her to wrap her reactions up for later. 

Deep breath.

"I - "

Deep breath.

"What did you want to say?"

"I am Darth Sidious, and I am a Sith Lord."

Okay. Yeah.

Deep breath. 

Anakin's having a lot of emotions. She doesn't know what they all are, which is... Making this harder. She acknowledges some of the bigger ones - shock, self-doubt, fear - and sets those aside.

Deep breath.

And then - concern, compassion, curiosity (that one has very strong coloring from her other half's fascination, which Anakin acknowledges with an almost wry humor).

Deep breath. 

"Thank you for telling me," she says, though she doesn't successfully keep her tone exactly even. 

And her breath catches, and Anakin still doesn't have perfect self control, so: "Why?"

"Which part?"

"Why tell me? Is - the first."

"When I was... recruited, I was systematically lied to, deceived, and misled. I hated my first master, and I hate the one I have now. I do not want that to be our relationship."

"...I don't either."

And, because loving Elesse has never been a decision, never been a judgment - "Do you want a hug?"

"I would appreciate that."

She carefully sets Elesse's lightsaber aside and stands, crossing over to her pretty quickly to wrap her in a tight hug. 

Hug. Yes.

So much hug.

Anakin curls up with Elesse, putting her head on the older woman's shoulder and reaching out in the Force - offering Elesse her concern, her love, her unshaped determination (she wants to fix this, to destroy anything making Elesse sad - that merges into Anakin's other half's thoughts, because of course it does, and her other half reaches through the Force too, her emotions fiercer, more distinctly protective). 

She reaches up, hesitantly, to pet Anakin's hair lightly.

She presses her face a bit more into Elesse's shoulder, squeezing her. 

"I need to - meditate or think or something," she says, "Before I - decide what I feel about this."

"But I care about you. That hasn't changed."

"All right." Hug. "Should- Do you want time alone?"

...Hm.

"Not right now," she says, voice soft. "I - get into spirals, sometimes."

"I... I think more details would - help."

"Where would you like me to begin?"

"...I don't know."

"I guess - "

Anakin pauses, looking at her own mind for a moment.

She still loves Elesse. Any details about Elesse's motives, her life, will - probably just cement that. (Might damage Anakin's ability to make decisions she endorses, even.)

"I think that - what you're intending to do, if you're - intending to harm me or the galaxy or the Jedi - or if you're intending to - stop your Master or - something - "

"I think that matters practically."

"My master is planning to install me as Chancellor, destroy the Jedi, and transform the Republic into a new Sith Empire with me as the figurehead, him ruling from the shadows. I plan to kill him, but he is stronger than I, and cunning. I have not found an opportunity to do so yet."

Horror, visceral and deep, washes through her - and there's a small, vicious echo from her other half, who loves their friends who'd be caught in such a war even if she doesn't love the Jedi.

Deep breath. She forces her emotions to where they aren't clouding her mind - more clumsily than she might otherwise.

"Do you know what you'll do, once he's dead?" she asks, voice wavering.

"No."