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So, if Edarial wasn't sure that his wife hated him before, he's really, really sure of it now. It's pretty usual that if they're in the same room, he feels nothing but silent, seething hostility from her. Usually, his reaction to this is a poker face followed by running. He doesn't like having someone hostile just - there at the dinner table, glaring at him with her hissing familiar.
Zevros doesn't hate him, Edarial's certain of it, but he's not helping. He's literally never seen his twin this angry before. This is coming from someone who has seen his twin be angry loads of times. At meals, he just - sits there. Stabbing his food and glaring at Edarial while he does it. He gets why, he knows that Zevros is furious with him for the whole 'cold political marriage' thing. It still hurts, though, to have his immediate family just be so openly hostile.
He gets more withdrawn. Meals get delivered to his room rather than him eating with Iobel and Zevros right there, being near-openly hostile. He stops sparring with Zevros nearly entirely, spends an unhealthy amount of time in either his office or his room, and Berathyme spends all her time coiled around his shoulders, offering what little comfort she can.
She's pretty terrible at advice, but at least he has someone that doesn't actively hate him nearby.
He throws himself into being a king, gets lots of things done, and is generally considered by the public to be good at it. A good king. It's sort of tainted by bitterness, now. But the country does not fall apart, it does not break down into civil war - he handles it. The education system gets a shove in the right direction, the canals get cleaned up, various unemployed people get jobs. He wonders what on earth he's done wrong when he's doing good in the world, but he supposes it doesn't matter.
He knew what he was getting himself into, when he made this choice. He knew that Zevros would be upset with him. Maybe to the point where their camaraderie will just never recover. He doesn't know. From the beginning, he knew that he'd be shackled to someone he doesn't love. Edarial hadn't been expecting the random hatred from his new wife, but he certainly wasn't expecting to be happy.
Just, well. He wasn't expecting to be so miserable, either.
It shows, the misery. Dark circles under his eyes, the withdrawn, blank expression, unkempt hair. He loses some weight due to skipping meals just to avoid his close family. Or, other times, he just forgets, burying himself in work so he doesn't have to think 'What did I do?' over and over again.
But he's a good king. So that's something.
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royal_obligation
royal_obligation
Well. Edarial can't think of anything else to add, so... Silence. Less awkward silence now, though.
come_midnight
Iobel can think of things to say, but doesn't know if this is the time. She doesn't know when would be the time, but - it doesn't seem to be now. Maybe if she just leaves him alone long enough Edarial will magically turn into a person again instead of a heap of negative emotion.
royal_obligation
He does not look to be about to magically turn into a person again anytime soon. Just a heap of negative emotion. That walks, talks and fixes a country.
come_midnight
Well, she assumes there's a person under there, anyway.
Cricket asks her something.
She answers, sighing. The name "Edarial" appears in her reply.
Cricket asks her something.
She answers, sighing. The name "Edarial" appears in her reply.
royal_obligation
Edarial glances up at his name, then looks at Iobel quizzically. What exactly was she saying?
come_midnight
"...I can tell you what I said if you like but I doubt you will be particularly pleased to hear it."
royal_obligation
Well that's hardly a change in anything.
"Go ahead," he says, after a pause. "You don't have to if I'm prying, however."
"Go ahead," he says, after a pause. "You don't have to if I'm prying, however."
come_midnight
"If it were very private I would have referred to you as 'the king' or something," she says, shaking her head. "Cricket asked what I was thinking and I said - I think you look at me like I'm a walking sign that reads 'contemplate the terrible circumstances of your marriage now' - as opposed to a human being."
royal_obligation
Edarial opens his mouth. Then he closes it, not having a response to that immediately.
He looks down, at his shoes.
"... I have been doing that, haven't I?" His voice is quiet and shaky. "I'm sorry."
come_midnight
"I would have said it directly to you in the first place if I were after an apology. I have no particular hope that you are ever going to like me or anything about me beyond my opinions on governance, but it seems like it would be more conducive to forming some kind of working relationship regarding the opinions on governance if you didn't find me and my - context - intolerable to think about. I'm mostly wondering if that's ever going to happen or if eventually you're going to dismiss me, queen someone else who you might or might like and who might or might not be helpful but who at least isn't associated with so much unpleasantness, and move on."
royal_obligation
"How can I like you when I hardly know you, and you spend most of your time commenting on my various failures while I'm still trying to pull myself together? Because personally I feel like I'm not being treated like a person, either. It's like I'm an excuse for you to - be queen or you're waiting for me to do something you don't want, like kick you to the curb for my own comfort. I don't even hate you or dislike you, I'm just - stuck in the mindset that there is a woman who hates me and happens to be glaring at me every chance she gets and oh wait she turns out to be entirely justified. Honestly most of this isn't even involved with you, you just happen to be a reminder of the shit that's going on in my head. None of that's your fault and I know that and I'm working on it."
come_midnight
"I don't expect you to like me. But how am I supposed to know what will and won't help you pull yourself together? I know very little about you and less about how to haul you out of a miserable fugue, and if Zevros's likewise inability to do so is any indication I could have known you all your life and still have no idea. More information and feedback would help me, and you asked me what I said when warned it wouldn't be pleasant, and what else do I have to go on? I know little about you and less about what you do when confronted with a marriage to someone you - apparently produce no value judgment upon at all. You could have me packed off home if you like. My apartment and my store are still there. You could get rid of me. Why wouldn't you? When all I am to you is a terrible reminder of something you never wanted that was worse than you feared."
royal_obligation
"I'm not expecting you to instantly and miraculously know how I work, and I'm not going to get upset with you for screwing things up every now and then. Heaven knows Zevros gets it wrong most of the time and I love him. I can't promise I'll react fantastically to everything, but generally I do not write off people entirely without extremely good reason." He motions back to the dungeons, and presumably, to Nataliem.
He sighs. "Yes. I could get rid of you, but I'm not going to just because it's convenient for me. Because even if - this was worse than I expected I still took on the responsibility willingly. Meaning that I'm going to listen to your preferences for things, including how you seem to want to stay as queen. You deserve some basic respect for your choices. You are my wife and that is not meaningless to me. Even if the ceremony was a sham and I wanted to shove that idiot priest's stupid misogynistic oaths back down his throat."
He sighs. "Yes. I could get rid of you, but I'm not going to just because it's convenient for me. Because even if - this was worse than I expected I still took on the responsibility willingly. Meaning that I'm going to listen to your preferences for things, including how you seem to want to stay as queen. You deserve some basic respect for your choices. You are my wife and that is not meaningless to me. Even if the ceremony was a sham and I wanted to shove that idiot priest's stupid misogynistic oaths back down his throat."
come_midnight
"Oh, god, the oaths," says Iobel, almost laughing. "They were - yes, they could have stood to go back whence they came and maybe a bit farther. Well. This is good to know, because if you were going to show me the door I'd have preferred it done quickly. So. Since I'm here, since I'm staying - how does one haul you out of a depressive pit, how does one formulate some reasonably cordial working relationship with you, how does one cause you to feel like you are being treated like a person, how does one come by information about you like that of 'willing to consider preferences of wife in wife-relevant decisionmaking' by mechanisms other than speculation or conversational happenstance?"
royal_obligation
He shrugs. "I'll... Mostly haul myself out of a depressive pit. This one's a bit - deeper than the others and it's not exactly fun, but I can - metaphorically climb well enough. I think. If not, Zevros will no doubt kick me until I start again now that he's no longer upset with me."
Edarial attempts a little, teensy smile. "As to the others... Talking? Asking relevant questions? I don't know if you want to talk to me or not, and it's not like I know what in the world to say to you. I've been mostly in my own head, unless you want updates on how much I hate myself at any one point in time, I don't think that's very useful for smalltalk."
Edarial attempts a little, teensy smile. "As to the others... Talking? Asking relevant questions? I don't know if you want to talk to me or not, and it's not like I know what in the world to say to you. I've been mostly in my own head, unless you want updates on how much I hate myself at any one point in time, I don't think that's very useful for smalltalk."
come_midnight
"I didn't know if you wanted to talk to me or not. Gradually ceasing to flee the room at my approach is an improvement but didn't make it look like you wanted to have a chat. You've been sending me work, we could talk about that if nothing else."
royal_obligation
"I mostly have not been wanting to talk to anyone. Talking about work or projects works for me, though."
come_midnight
"I found and allocated funding for that person who wanted to coordinate canal cleanup and had more than sixty percent of an idea for how to go about it," she volunteers. "I took some of it out of the budget for buying new dishes. I don't know why there was such a budget for buying new dishes; they aren't exactly unreusable."
royal_obligation
"My mother had a habit of breaking them and I hadn't gotten around to moving the funds from there to something else. So, no loss, excellent choice."
come_midnight
"I thought it might be something like that, although I did check with the kitchen staff to be sure. The rest of it was out of public works fund so I assume that's fine."
royal_obligation
"Hmm. Mostly fine, I was going to use a portion of that for a project to rebuild some slums in Forgrat, but I can manage."
come_midnight
"You'll get some of it back in taxes, since it's mostly going to pay workers, and I think cleaner canals should cut the spread of various diseases. I can check with you before dipping into that budget again."
royal_obligation
"Oh no, the project itself is fine, I'm just thinking of various other things that need juggling, too." Pause. "I should probably give you my notes on those, shouldn't I."