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Jan 20, 2022 9:44 AM
"poor kamil like OH GOD ETHICS. ETHICS AND PROBLEMS. ALSO MY DICK. ETHICS AND PROBLEMS AND MY DICK"
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Then he peels it back open.

“…aww, man.”

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"Oh, come on, I can accidentally install free use but I can't do HIV vaccines? What the hell!"

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“…I guess it has problems inventing stuff. Or something.”

He flips back and forth a little, scanning the pages.

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"...you should change something dumb, just to see if you can remember it when you do it. Name the school dickbutt again."

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THE CAVELIER DICKBUTT HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT HANDBOOK

He shuts the book.

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Then he jumps a little in his seat, eyes going wide, like he’s just been stuck with a pin.

“—jesus fuck.”

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"--what happened?"

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“…uh…just — I definitely remember Cavelier. And I also remember…dickbutt. Which feels halfway totally normal and halfway fucking insane.”

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"...okay, you have to change it back and see if you keep the memories."

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He nods.

“Yeah, sure—”

He edits, closes, opens.

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He sits and thinks for a minute.

 

“…so I can definitely, like…remember remembering it. If that makes sense.”

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"At least that means you probably won't go mad with things man was not meant to know."

 

 

 

"...we could tell an adult, now."

It would be the responsible thing to do. And he kind of wants to. But not only would there be no more sexy shenanigans -- what if the adult did the wrong things with it? What if they were stupid, or careless, or secretly homophobic? What if they wanted to get FDA approval before using it?

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“…man, I don’t know about you, but I know literally no adults who I would trust with this kind of shit.”

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"It's a lot of trust," he agrees, immediately relieved. "Okay! What if we did a vaccine for something smaller? Like the common cold?"

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He nods, and flips back through the handbook—

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“—oh my god.”

HIV    |  1%

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"Oh holy shit -- wait holy shit does that mean that the other ones might get there too -- oh my god oh my god--!"

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“—dude we’re attracting attention.”

They are, in fact, getting a couple of stares.

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...he glances around.

"MY MATH COMPETITION WENT REALLY WELL!"

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This does, at least, succeed in losing the interest of the crowd immediately.

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Successful, and yet somewhat existentially depressing.

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Not laughing. Supporting friend.

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And then it starts catching up with him.

“…holy shit, though,” he says, as quietly as possible but with feeling.

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"...yeah. Yeah."

 

 

"Give that -- no, wait, you should do it so you can remember -- put cancer and depression and -- god, what else..."

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cancer, depression, ADH

He erases the last three letters.

AD

Erases them again.

multiple sclerosis

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