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As they have been every year, the rising juniors of Cavelier Highschool are being provided a new printing of the student handbook, accounting for changing staff and new district bylaws and some new very pointed rules about exactly who is permitted in which bathrooms.
This particular book's cover appears to be a misprint, CMYK all disjoint, but apart from the slightly dizzying misalignment it appears entirely ordinary.
It lands on its appointed desk, and the student passing out books moves on.
"Oh, come on, I can accidentally install free use but I can't do HIV vaccines? What the hell!"
“…I guess it has problems inventing stuff. Or something.”
He flips back and forth a little, scanning the pages.
"...you should change something dumb, just to see if you can remember it when you do it. Name the school dickbutt again."
Then he jumps a little in his seat, eyes going wide, like he’s just been stuck with a pin.
“—jesus fuck.”
“…uh…just — I definitely remember Cavelier. And I also remember…dickbutt. Which feels halfway totally normal and halfway fucking insane.”
He sits and thinks for a minute.
“…so I can definitely, like…remember remembering it. If that makes sense.”
"At least that means you probably won't go mad with things man was not meant to know."
"...we could tell an adult, now."
It would be the responsible thing to do. And he kind of wants to. But not only would there be no more sexy shenanigans -- what if the adult did the wrong things with it? What if they were stupid, or careless, or secretly homophobic? What if they wanted to get FDA approval before using it?
“…man, I don’t know about you, but I know literally no adults who I would trust with this kind of shit.”
"It's a lot of trust," he agrees, immediately relieved. "Okay! What if we did a vaccine for something smaller? Like the common cold?"
"Oh holy shit -- wait holy shit does that mean that the other ones might get there too -- oh my god oh my god--!"
And then it starts catching up with him.
“…holy shit, though,” he says, as quietly as possible but with feeling.
"...yeah. Yeah."
"Give that -- no, wait, you should do it so you can remember -- put cancer and depression and -- god, what else..."
cancer, depression, ADH
He erases the last three letters.
AD
Erases them again.
multiple sclerosis
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