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Isabella manages, by the liberal use of cloudpine travel, assorted magic, and her alethiometer, to acquire possession of a parking garage each in Manhattan and Los Angeles.
Into these she has Adarin place a portal set.
And then she mixes up a batch of suitably witchy ink that she'll be able to identify as authentic later, marks up a bunch of pieces of paper with it, and walks into: a bank.
Adarin's welcome to come along, if he likes...
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prodigal_miser
Which, as it happens, he does. Both for the practical purpose of possibly providing portal based advice, and because it seems like the sort of thing that would be fun to attend.
dark_light
Isabella attracts a lot of odd looks at the bank. She ignores them, and goes up to the teller, and says, "Who do I speak to about a large loan and other services under unusual circumstances?"
The teller looks as confused as everyone else, but sends her into an office off the side of the main bank floor.
Into this office goes Isabella.
The person in the office takes her witchhood in stride, but only insofar as he assumes it's Adarin who wants to talk to him. "Ah, hello sir, what can I do for you today?"
The teller looks as confused as everyone else, but sends her into an office off the side of the main bank floor.
Into this office goes Isabella.
The person in the office takes her witchhood in stride, but only insofar as he assumes it's Adarin who wants to talk to him. "Ah, hello sir, what can I do for you today?"
prodigal_miser
Adarin finds the odd looks hilarious. He doesn't say so, and he doesn't laugh, but it's kind of obvious.
Amused, he says, "Hello and good day, sir! Thank you, but I don't require anything at the moment - you can help the lovely witch beside me."
Credit will go to Isabella, and he's of the opinion that it's better that he is as visibly hands-off on portal capitalism as possible. That way, no one connects the dots. Thus, Isabella gets to do the talking.
Amused, he says, "Hello and good day, sir! Thank you, but I don't require anything at the moment - you can help the lovely witch beside me."
Credit will go to Isabella, and he's of the opinion that it's better that he is as visibly hands-off on portal capitalism as possible. That way, no one connects the dots. Thus, Isabella gets to do the talking.
dark_light
The bank person blinks, and turns to Isabella with reasonable grace. "Ah, I see. Ma'am?"
"Thank you," says Isabella wryly. "I have found myself in what you yourself readily demonstrate is the unusual position of being both a witch and inclined to make ludicrous quantities of money which cannot be handled in non-liquid form. I would like to take out a business loan - here are my estimates -" she has a piece of notebook paper with her summarized arithmetic on it - "and in lieu of paying interest, and in exchange for any other banking services that normally cost money which I find myself desiring, I'd like to save your organization a lot of money and hassle on business travel. I have unprecedented magic, I don't think it's going to be duplicated outside the scope of my enterprise in the next - decade, conservatively, potentially ever, and particularly not on a commercial scale, and what it does is let me put a hole in the wall in the parking garage six blocks north of here and have it open into a hub site which has another hole in a wall leading to a parking garage in Los Angeles. That's the proof of concept. I can make more. I'm going to. I just want to own the sites I put them on and be able to hire any support personnel I find myself requiring. Before the ticket money starts piling up."
"I... see."
"Thank you," says Isabella wryly. "I have found myself in what you yourself readily demonstrate is the unusual position of being both a witch and inclined to make ludicrous quantities of money which cannot be handled in non-liquid form. I would like to take out a business loan - here are my estimates -" she has a piece of notebook paper with her summarized arithmetic on it - "and in lieu of paying interest, and in exchange for any other banking services that normally cost money which I find myself desiring, I'd like to save your organization a lot of money and hassle on business travel. I have unprecedented magic, I don't think it's going to be duplicated outside the scope of my enterprise in the next - decade, conservatively, potentially ever, and particularly not on a commercial scale, and what it does is let me put a hole in the wall in the parking garage six blocks north of here and have it open into a hub site which has another hole in a wall leading to a parking garage in Los Angeles. That's the proof of concept. I can make more. I'm going to. I just want to own the sites I put them on and be able to hire any support personnel I find myself requiring. Before the ticket money starts piling up."
"I... see."
prodigal_miser
"There is indeed a hole in the wall that goes a very long distance from one place to another," informs Adarin. "It's entirely safe, I was her test subject for walking through it. You go in one side in one part of the country, end up on the other side somewhere completely different."
He was technically her test subject. In that he made the portals and then tested them himself to be extra sure. It counts.
He was technically her test subject. In that he made the portals and then tested them himself to be extra sure. It counts.
dark_light
Nobody in this room is going to call him on this technicality.
"I see. Ms...?"
"Isabella Amariah. You can drop the titles."
"Isabella Amariah. What are you planning to charge?"
"To start, a lot more than air travel costs. I can't handle that kind of volume yet and have to deter excess would-be coast hoppers somehow, and I don't think it's a long-term great idea to make urban parking garages by bases of operation for high volume either. By my back-of-envelope estimate I should be able to repay you inside of a year - that's if you take the vouchers in lieu of interest etcetera and distribute them to your business travelers; that's part of my strategy is using that as a word-of-mouth starting point. They tell their golfing buddies who tell their cousins etcetera. The price point will drop when I have better infrastructure and when the economy has started to react to the introduced magic."
"I see. Ms...?"
"Isabella Amariah. You can drop the titles."
"Isabella Amariah. What are you planning to charge?"
"To start, a lot more than air travel costs. I can't handle that kind of volume yet and have to deter excess would-be coast hoppers somehow, and I don't think it's a long-term great idea to make urban parking garages by bases of operation for high volume either. By my back-of-envelope estimate I should be able to repay you inside of a year - that's if you take the vouchers in lieu of interest etcetera and distribute them to your business travelers; that's part of my strategy is using that as a word-of-mouth starting point. They tell their golfing buddies who tell their cousins etcetera. The price point will drop when I have better infrastructure and when the economy has started to react to the introduced magic."
prodigal_miser
"If you were to accept, I think she is also willing to listen to input on which cities are next added to the hub, though any actual additions will be up to her discretion alone," Adarin adds.
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"The twenty-five most populous in the U.S. and the big tourist destinations like Las Vegas and Honolulu are first on my list as it stands," says Isabella. "I haven't yet jumped though the hurdles necessary to deal with building portals to other countries, but it's not a technical challenge, just a bureaucratic one. I've earmarked part of the loan to figuring that out, as you can see."
"I do see. Are you sure you're looking for a loan and not an investment?"
"Mr.," Isabella reads the nameplate on his desk, "Phillips, I do not particularly wish to sacrifice any part of the ownership of my enterprise. Do you suspect that you cannot acquire value out of being my chosen banking institution regardless of whether or not I let you purchase likely-undervalued stock options?"
"I meant no offense, Isabella."
"None was taken."
"I do see. Are you sure you're looking for a loan and not an investment?"
"Mr.," Isabella reads the nameplate on his desk, "Phillips, I do not particularly wish to sacrifice any part of the ownership of my enterprise. Do you suspect that you cannot acquire value out of being my chosen banking institution regardless of whether or not I let you purchase likely-undervalued stock options?"
"I meant no offense, Isabella."
"None was taken."
prodigal_miser
Adarin tries very hard not to laugh. He manages, but he can't help but smile a little. "If you would not like to give her the loan, we can always go to another bank. I'm sure she will not be offended if you find the venture unlikely for success and don't want to risk your company. It's hard to offend a witch."
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"Perhaps you'd like to see the portal, Mr. Phillips."
"Actually," he replies, "yes, I think I would. Six blocks?"
"That's right. Will you recognize Los Angeles when you step into it? I suppose it's warmer there, if nothing else."
"It is," agrees Mr. Phillips. "Is now a good time?"
"Now is a fine time," Isabella says, getting up.
"Actually," he replies, "yes, I think I would. Six blocks?"
"That's right. Will you recognize Los Angeles when you step into it? I suppose it's warmer there, if nothing else."
"It is," agrees Mr. Phillips. "Is now a good time?"
"Now is a fine time," Isabella says, getting up.
prodigal_miser
Up Adarin goes, as well. He's so incredibly pleased with his witch.
dark_light
Isabella mounts her cloud-pine when they have exited Mr. Phillips's office. No point in tripping on the way there.
Mr. Phillips holds the door for them and then follows as she floats six blocks north at a leisurely pace, looking almost insufferably smug.
Mr. Phillips holds the door for them and then follows as she floats six blocks north at a leisurely pace, looking almost insufferably smug.
prodigal_miser
Her boyfriend thinks she is allowed to be as almost insufferably smug as she likes. She is taking over the world with portal economics, she gets to be smug. He walks beside Isabella's floating cloudpine, obviously extremely happy. He's not smug, but he's not exactly subtle about his opinion of these events.
Soon enough, they arrive. The portal is absurdly easy to pick out; it ripples like water, but anyone can see what's on the other side - definitely not a parking garage at all. It's large enough for both cars and pedestrians together - there is even a conscientious little section of wall dividing them that ends part of the ways up in the portal. This is to prevent the obvious problem of people getting run over by cars.
"Would you like me to go first?" asks Adarin. "As proof of concept."
Soon enough, they arrive. The portal is absurdly easy to pick out; it ripples like water, but anyone can see what's on the other side - definitely not a parking garage at all. It's large enough for both cars and pedestrians together - there is even a conscientious little section of wall dividing them that ends part of the ways up in the portal. This is to prevent the obvious problem of people getting run over by cars.
"Would you like me to go first?" asks Adarin. "As proof of concept."
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"Sure," says Mr. Phillips. "That doesn't look like Los Angeles, though."
"Well, yes, it goes through my hub site in Wyoming," says Isabella.
"Well, yes, it goes through my hub site in Wyoming," says Isabella.
prodigal_miser
Adarin nods. "So it can be easily expanded."
Then, through the portal he goes. It's like walking through normal air, though the ripples of the portal react accordingly to a person walking through them, like he stepped through some really agreeable floating water. From the other side, he waves, clearly visible and perfectly fine.
Then, through the portal he goes. It's like walking through normal air, though the ripples of the portal react accordingly to a person walking through them, like he stepped through some really agreeable floating water. From the other side, he waves, clearly visible and perfectly fine.
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Isabella gestures to Mr. Phillips, who tentatively walks through. She follows, still flying, and leads the way to the Los Angeles portal, which opens into another parking garage. She escorts the banker up the ramp to the rooftop, from which Los Angeles is clearly visible.
"As you see," she says, still radiating insufferable smugness. "A portal from New York to L.A., easy as that."
"As you see," she says, still radiating insufferable smugness. "A portal from New York to L.A., easy as that."
prodigal_miser
"Soon enough there will be portals to other locations, too, but Isabella has yet to secure where they would go," adds Adarin. "All accessible from the hub."
Okay, now he's maybe just a little smug, too. They can have a smugness party.
Okay, now he's maybe just a little smug, too. They can have a smugness party.
dark_light
"I am very impressed. You're sure you're not taking investors?"
"I don't need investors," says Isabella. "I got this far with no financial help - parking garages via favors, portals via magic. I would like a loan. I am inviting you to provide me with something I want, which is a loan, not something I don't want, which is investment."
"Well, you certainly know your own mind. If we go back I'll see if our bank can satisfy your needs within the limits of my authorization or if we'll need to get someone else to handle your accounts."
"Thank you, Mr. Phillips."
Back down and through the portals and out of the New York garage they go. Isabella locks the door to the stairwell behind her; the drive-in entrance is closed until she opens the place. She doesn't want confused would-be parkers wandering around.
"I don't need investors," says Isabella. "I got this far with no financial help - parking garages via favors, portals via magic. I would like a loan. I am inviting you to provide me with something I want, which is a loan, not something I don't want, which is investment."
"Well, you certainly know your own mind. If we go back I'll see if our bank can satisfy your needs within the limits of my authorization or if we'll need to get someone else to handle your accounts."
"Thank you, Mr. Phillips."
Back down and through the portals and out of the New York garage they go. Isabella locks the door to the stairwell behind her; the drive-in entrance is closed until she opens the place. She doesn't want confused would-be parkers wandering around.
prodigal_miser
How wonderfully sensible of her. What's even more sensible is that both the stairwell door and the drive-in entrance will just not open to anyone that isn't Adarin or Isabella when it's locked. The lock might be picked, but the door pays attention to whether or not the key was used, and the person using it. There will be no mistakes.
Adarin loves magic.
To the bank they go.
Adarin loves magic.
To the bank they go.
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Mr. Phillips draws up documents and sets up accounts and issues Isabella a glossy black credit card and only has to be reminded once that there is another bank across the street from his. After this reminder is issued he coughs, stops trying to angle for long-term commitments, offers to buy them lunch. Isabella lets him. There is unspeakably delicious ravioli over which they have further discussion of business, and then they return to the bank, where Isabella hands over a stack of inked vouchers which will serve as one-year unlimited passes for select employees of the bank. She has an account with a lot of money in it and a book of checks and a very, very, very, smug smile.
She's going to do roughly the same thing with an insurance company and a law firm and then she'll be all done for the day.
She's going to do roughly the same thing with an insurance company and a law firm and then she'll be all done for the day.
prodigal_miser
Adarin's perfectly happy to accompany her for both of those, as well. Partially because he is Portal Safety Demonstration Man and partially because watching Isabella take over the world is incredibly enjoyable. Plus, unspeakably delicious ravioli. He is on board for everything here, this is a ton of fun.
He'll save the maniacal cackling for when they're home. They're going to take over the world.
He'll save the maniacal cackling for when they're home. They're going to take over the world.
dark_light
When they have portaled to Wyoming the final time, Isabella beats him to the maniacal cackling.
prodigal_miser
That's impressive, because he is delighted and gets started on the maniacal cackling rather quickly. Isabella's even picked up and spun around, for good measure.
"We," he declares, "are going to take over the world. Then we are going to fix it."
Then he's lost to the maniacal cackles.
"We," he declares, "are going to take over the world. Then we are going to fix it."
Then he's lost to the maniacal cackles.
dark_light
Wheeeee! Spinning!
"Yes. Oh, goddesses all, we're going to have oodles of money, I'll be able to drown any dozen charities in it. I'll be able to lean on governments that want portals and don't meet my human rights standards. We will colonize Mars or a superior alternative."
"Yes. Oh, goddesses all, we're going to have oodles of money, I'll be able to drown any dozen charities in it. I'll be able to lean on governments that want portals and don't meet my human rights standards. We will colonize Mars or a superior alternative."
prodigal_miser
"Absolutely absurd amounts of money," agrees Adarin, giggling. "We'll have the resources necessary to house thousands of people and give them comfortable lives. We can go planet shopping for superior Mars alternatives and not have to worry about anyone interfering and messing up what will be a delightfully well-structured system. Hell, we will be able to colonize Mars or a superior alternative with people from here that need it and just not deal with governments that don't meet human rights standards. I have the resources required to study magic and science combinations in order to improve lives in general."