…
…
…Merrin has QUESTIONS about what exact process might have generated exactly those two specific differences???
Also oh no that sure makes it sound like they were NOT dating in the alternative-universe and she’s been making everything super weird
“I would have been extremely confused if the you I remember had ever offered to do anything about my career, because as I said we did not work in the same department,” she says. “I don’t think it would - offend me, as a concept - but it would be pretty weird.”
(The understanding Merrin has formed of what ‘assisting her in her career’ could even look like has mostly resolved onto, like, one-on-one training on some specialized skill, because dath ilan has much less of a route by which ‘Estha speaks to her Exception Handling supervisors about her’ could, like, change anything much about her career trajectory.)
- wait, no. “Wrongthought,” Merrin says, “I’m realizing that if I’d known you earlier in my life, and you happened to know enough about my hobbies to notice my unusual stamina and point me out to someone at Exception Handling, I - well, it would’ve still been weird and a bit uncomfortable, maybe, I - don’t like attention - but it would be better for Civilization, probably, so I wouldn’t have been mad.”
The second part of the question is still giving her some trouble because. Um. Merrin is not actually that ridiculously easily-embarrassed about sex stuff, it’s just incredibly weird to talk about it with the alternate-universe version of your boyfriend who, it sounds like, was not having any form of sex with the alternate-universe you.
“…It’s complicated to what extent I like sex,” she says. “I don’t think I can round it off to either a yes or a no.”
The reason she had wanted to have this conversation in Baseline was that she had noticed a massive area of missing vocabulary. Merrin is somewhat worried that this means the other-world Estha is also going to be missing concepts and she will need to do a lot of mortifying explanation.
…no, he has to know that masochists exist, there was that one comment he made - actually, what, wait, Merrin is now very confused how that could possibly fit with “they’re not dating” - did she misparse completely what he meant, or does his culture exclude kink from the category “sex”, that would be weird but it’s not impossible to imagine, she supposes…
“I’m a masochist,” she says, “I like kink stuff a lot more consistently in more circumstances than I like, you know,” no she canNOT assume he knows there is a CULTURE GAP here, “um, sex acts involving genital contact.”