This boy is extremely cute and he is feeling like kissing him an unreasonable amount.

He will read the recipe instead.

The Flaym of Purgeing

Whenn ye Plage fyrst strukk ye publick, I myself had liwed hardely three and tenn Yearf...

"I don't know why alchemists always think you want to know their life story," Lex observes. "I could not possibly care less about this asshole. Ingredients start on the fourth page."

1 (One) Skull of childe

2 (Two) pynch saltes of Sulphurick Acid and Bitter Lye

3 (Three) Aconite bloomes, powdered

4 (Four) graines Burnt Lime

5 (Five) scruples good Wine

6 (Six) pyntes purest Water

7 (Seven) drachm Vyrgin's Blodd

"The child skull thing is another bit I'm assuming isn't widespread. I've got one from a veal calf that works fine."

"Sulfur and lye see uses, mostly for stuff with fire and explosives, everything else seems mostly normal, except obviously for the blood. And I could definitely not offer my blood, here," and he looks at Lex for a split second from the corner of his eyes before saying, "and maybe I'll manage to get your blood to stop counting before the end of term."

"You know as well as I do that virgin's blood is chemically identical to nonvirgin, that he meant a female virgin above the age of mense anyway, and that I will shove my steel-toed boot straight up your arse if you don't shut up."

"If that's what rocks your boat," he says, sliding the slip of parchment back over, "although I can think of better things for you to shove up my ass than your boot."

Lex looks like he is very close to biting Lake's nose off. He snatches the paper and stomps towards the supply closet.

On the way over he inhales deeply and manages to say something very polite to...

...a mousy-looking East Asian girl, who smiles at him and asks something of her lab partner, who reluctantly comes up with a small jar of powder.

Lex looks - very surprised by this. He removes something from his pocket and hands it to the girl, who facilitates the exchange.

When he gets to the supply closet, he's careful, but still comes away with the materials he needs. He comes back to the table and nods at Scorpius.

"It'll still have to wait for me to get the skull for mixing the reactant, but - apparently Sophie's lab partner did have some powdered aconite. And he only wanted a couple of snack tokens for it, he'd been trying to offload it for ages."

"Well, lucky for you, then. I bet I could have grabbed some off New York if push came to shove but I don't think it would have, that would've taken a lot of time and the Scholomance wouldn't just give you an assignment you could not actually complete in time, like that."

"My freshman year it asked four liters of blood for a potion. I had to get a dose of liquid expander from a senior, traded him ten Radiant Mind crystals for it, and bled myself dry for a week. It doesn't just give you assignments you can't complete, but it will absolutely fuck you over."

"...well you did complete it, didn't you? Sorry, I'm not trying to be a bitch. I just have the impression the school... won't literally try to kill you. Not like that. Even if it will force you to trade away your crystals and bleed a lot."

"...felt like it was. But I guess maybe it was just trying to make me feel like it was."

"Not gonna go as far as saying it's tough love, it's a school not a person, but it is trying to prepare us for survival. One way or another. All wise-gifted children..."

"Sanctuary and protection. I've always thought you shouldn't promise things you can't give."

"It's a numbers game. It does the best anyone has ever been able to figure out how to do." He smiles. "I've been fed the party line for long enough, you could say."

"He tried his best would be the world's most popular epitaph if it meant anything."

"Maybe, but it's a magical construct. It can do nothing but its best."

"What a miserable way to be."

"We can hope for its sake it's less sentient than most mals around. It did never decide to just eat us all instead of carrying on, for a blessing."

"Well. A blessing if you think we matter more than the good people of Patience and Fortitude."

"...I suppose that is a trade I hadn't thought of. Four thousand kids die swiftly, so that however many those two have been torturing for decades finally get their release."

"It's not pleasant to think about, I'm not exactly surprised you haven't. You only get a few thoughts each day that aren't 'how do I kill that, again?'; it makes sense you'd ration them."

"I think it's more about prioritising them than rationing them," he says, side-eyeing Lex for a second again.

"Prioritize, he says." Lex leans back in his chair. "Your priorities, Lake, are fucked. You've spent a solid eighteen hours being insulted nonstop because you get off on it."

"Not quite how I would put it."