"Now that you've brought it up."

"Yeah so a lot of stuff is kinda optimized? If I time slide over a uni class I remember everything in it perfectly and the information density in the class is absurd. Learning magic, too, when I'm in timeslide mode it's just hyperefficient information concentrate 100% pure no apple juice."

"But uh let me tell you that having sex in this state is a lot less fun."

"And you just had to waste a half hour of my life rather than just tell me that?"

"...sorry. Probably another, uh—"

"Bad habit? Only so many times you can use that excuse, Pete."

He pulls himself up to sit on the edge of the pool and have his back conveniently turned to Eric where he's seated at the lounge chair so he doesn't have to look Eric in the eyes. "Yeah. Sorry. I'll..."

Sigh. "It's fine, Pete. I get the impression your bad habits involve a lot of not really thinking about what other people would feel and kind of controlling the information they had access to and I understand where they came from but seriously, cut that shit out, it's unpleasant. Work with me, not on me."

"I'll do that."

"Oh, stop acting like a sad kicked puppy, you're still my best friend, come on, cheer up, you've got a whole new person to chat to, now."

"This is not going to be good for me," he says, pulling himself further up so he can take a seat on the chair next to Eric's. "How am I ever going to want to interact with another person now that I've been exposed to this? You've ruined me."

"You don't need to flatter me to get in my pants. I'm not even wearing any."

"Oh, yeah, by the way, remind me to get into the whole nudism thing you've got going on because my theory about alexandrite relates to that."

"...Peter..."

"...yes, I'm doing it again. Sorry. It's just, uh. Okay so I think there's something like reality by consensus and maybe a meta level of narrative operating in the metaphysics of the universe which means that the way people behave and what they expect of reality and what reality is actually like are, like, maybe very intrinsically coupled and caused by one another, so it's the very fact that everyone thinks alexandrite is super rare that makes it be rare."

"I only half followed that so I will give you a free pass to not try to explain the rest of it to me right now, I'm not totally sober. What's it got to do with nudism, though?"

"I think us walking around naked all the time is meaningfully causing nudism to become more widespread through mechanisms other than just other people becoming accustomed to it."

"...yep, definitely waiting until I'm sober for that one.

"But what I was going to say next was that we now need to figure out how to make those two clowns become people, too, because I am not going to lie, Peter, I do not have your constitution and could not deal with only one other person around."

"You got a bright idea for that one?"

"Nnnot really, but you're the genius, I figure that's your job."

"You're the one with hands-on experience! I didn't even see it happen!"

"I told you all I got."

Tae-hwan materializes on top of Eric and settles comfortably into a snuggle. "Hi. Whatchu guys talking about?" 

"We're strategizing about how to turn you and Zachary into nerds like us."

"Ew."