"Not working for people charged with criminal offences, no."

"So they only did civil law?"

"They only worked for the government, more or less."

"That's weird! What if you're a criminal and you don't understand the law?"

"...then you get charged for the crime?"

"Right, but maybe there's some defense you don't know about."

"You can explain your circumstances to the magistrate dealing with the case?"

"Well, sure, but you're not going to know how to present yourself in the best light."

"Yes. If you weren't legally trained, that was a problem you could have."

"Anyway. Yeah. Professional time traveler. --I guess we should see about getting you an agent?"

"Really its the magistrate's job to make sure the case has a fair outcome-- agent?"

"Probably we should figure out logistics and then get into an argument about the adversarial justice system. An agent is someone whose job is to find you work and negotiate contracts and so on, and in exchange they take a cut of the profits."

"That seems like a more efficient plan than just standing on a street corner with sign saying 'Time Traveler: Will Tell You About The Tang Dynasty For Money.'"

"Right. You need someone who can coordinate you talking to historians and writing your memoir and so on. Speaking tours. Self-help books maybe."

"I feel like anyone who reads a self help book by me deserves whatever bad advice they get. Also we'd need to convince an agent that I am real and not some sort of elaborate prank or well researched psychotic break."

"Don't worry, we can vouch for you."

"That simplifies things, thank you."

"Probably the right thing to do is to call a press conference with someone reasonably friendly."

"I'm assuming that would be talking publically about being a time traveller?"

"Yep, you're going to be interviewed by one person and then a bunch of journalists from different news sources will be there so they can cover it from their own angles. Time Traveler Fashion. The Physics Of Time Travel Explained. The Theology Of Time Travel Explained. How Time Travel Existing Will Affect The Election. Will There Be A Bunch Of New Time Traveler TV Shows This Year? Time Travel And Your Sex Life--"

"I'll effect the election more than just maybe voting in it, my civics teacher would be so proud."

"Fivethirtyeight Cascadia already picked up that something was weird because the forecaster predictions about science have been moving in odd directions. Higher chance of discovering faster-than-light travel."

"Hopefully they won't be disappointed that they can't travel even faster."

"Okay, so I should walk you through it--" And Lev explains how press conferences work!

He is now much less ignorant about the Subtle Art of The Press Conference, and less likely to make a complete fool of myself.