Gods. She feels a little like that tree, right now. Vanyel's entire life was shaped, for a certain purpose - to save Valdemar, maybe, a noble enough cause, but whatever Power nudged all the pieces on the gameboard in the right places didn't, apparently, care what it would cost him. 

Or what it would cost her. Because she's been at his side the whole time, shaped along with him... 

She made a promise. That whatever happened, her Chosen would never have to face it alone. 

She broke that promise. 

It feels like her insides are breaking along with it. 

Something moves, behind the tree, half-seen. 

...A gopher, it looks like. Poking its head out of its burrow. Sniffing, looking around, whiskers and eyes searching for...something? What? 

A shadow overhead, passing across Yfandes' flank. ...But not where the gopher can see it. 

She's not an Animal Mindspeaker. She wouldn't be able to warn the gopher even if she'd thought of it in time, which she didn't, because she's still half-paralyzed, caught in the too-tight spider's web of her own mind. 

The hawk dives. 

The gopher squeals. And then squeals again, caught between talons. 

It is, apparently, not a quick death. 

- Yfandes turns her head away. She doesn't want to watch. 

...Death. Suffering. An eyeblink passes and a life gone, forever, never having had a chance - 

What Iomedae wants to fix. 

What Leareth wants to fix - apparently - badly enough that he was willing to pay almost any cost... 

Monstrous. Horrific. Inconceivable to even think about - 

- and yet. And yet. Is it really so different from a thousand Karsites dead in a blazing fireball, to save Valdemar's future...? 

Yfandes doesn't know. She can't look at it head-on, only catch the occasional sideways glimpse. All she knows is that it hurts, and she's so lonely, and she's so afraid. 

The light is fading to a deeper reddish-orange hue, now. Like fire. It's even flickering like a fire would, as clouds drift across the sun. 

The wind catches a leaf on the tiny sapling, and - there's a shadow, a shape cast in relief - 

- a chrysalis, small and curled up tight. Green and smooth save for a vein-like pattern - in normal light, or from a slightly different angle, it would blend almost perfectly with the leaf.

It's their only protection, Moondance said to Vanyel once, during some lesson or other. The chrysalis is helpless. It's being remade, inside. It can't run, or fight; it can only hide. 

While it becomes...something else. 

If this one is lucky, then soon it will be reborn, and be able to fly. 

Herald Tantras paces the perimeter of the Guard-post fence. 

They've apparently decided to stay the night here. Yfandes is still parked over there with the paladins. If Vanyel comes back, here is the obvious place for him to go. They haven't heard anything from Leareth, yet, but he's presumably able to contact the paladins as well. And Tran is in Mindspeech range of Haven, if - if anything happens. 

- at this point he's itchy for something, anything, to happen, and break this stupid goddamned impasse that he has no idea how to deal with. 

He doesn't understand what Iomedae was thinking. Accepting Leareth as one of her own. Forgiving him for his past actions, apparently, or at least that seems like the obvious implication of the whole repentance thing. 

This isn't Her world, though. Maybe She - can't see its past clearly? And so just doesn't have all of the information - and they know Leareth can be very persuasive and very compelling in the present. He's convinced Vanyel, after all. 

Tran turns abruptly. Leans on the fences, and reaches out with Mindspeech. The paladins, Ignasi and - he forgot the other one's name, oops, and Delian is restive and cagey today and mostly isn't in Tran's head - anyway, they aren't far. 

:Can I talk to one of you: he sends. 

Yes of course, Ignasi says immediately, and starts heading in Tran's direction. 

Tran is waiting for him, still pacing, hands clasped behind his back. 

He's not sure if the translation spell is still up, so he continues in Mindspeech. 

:- I want advice on how to - pray to Iomedae. I think I might have something important that She needs to hear: 

Of course. She can hear us most easily at a shrine, and we have one set up, here, I can show you -

Tran follows him to the shrine, without speaking. 

So to pray to a god, you focus on - your understanding of them. When I pray to Iomedae I focus on - the first time I noticed that the world was wrong, that bad things happened, that people died pointlessly, and I marched into Her temple to ask why She hadn't fixed it yet, why She was being so lazy. People differ on what human emotion is - the one that orients our minds most closely towards Hers, and She hasn't said, probably because it's different, person to person, but for me it's - a sense that I'd do this alone if I had to, but I shouldn't have to, there should be someone who is as angry as I am, and less confused.

Most prayers aren't answered. It doesn't mean She doesn't hear you, or doesn't care about you - talking to gods is bad for people, and costly for gods, and often we're on the right course, or a right enough course, on our own.

Tran is making so many faces while listening to this explanation! 

:...Are you still angry?: he asks, finally. :Are you - do you think She is really trying?: 

She is really trying. I am still angry sometimes, but - not that She hasn't fixed it yet, She's not omnipotent, She's - making the same calls as we are, about what to do first -

Tran nods. :...She's not omnipotent and She's not always right, yes? And - I, just - I think She might be missing some important context on Leareth and I think that She needs to understand. ....Is there any way I'll know if She hears me? Assuming She doesn't answer?: 

Sometimes you can sort of feel Her, even if She doesn't answer. 

....Huh. Weird. Tran shivers slightly, despite himself. 

:What - does it feel like?: 

...like getting a hug? Or a pat on the back, or a - hand helping you to your feet - people debate, to be clear, whether that's always Iomedae or whether it's sometimes an internal thing -

:Er. Right: 

And Tran kneels, somewhat stiffly, in front of the shrine, and - closes his eyes, and tries to concentrate - 

Seeing the wrongs in the world. Wanting to set them right - the impatience, the frustration, that they're still right there, staring him in the face - being angry - Tran knows that feeling very well...

The words of the Heralds' oath, baked deep into his mind and soul and bones. 

I pledge you my heart, that we may build and preserve our land and people together. I vow to obey our Laws and seek the Truth in every thought and deed, to heal the wrongs and bring aid to those who suffer, and by the strength of my hand to restore and keep the peace.

And...all right, he's not sure he would ever have found his way to that path. Not on his own. But he was searching for - for something like that - his entire life, and when Delian came to him and looked into his eyes then suddenly everything made sense, like it never had before... 

Tran thinks that Iomedae understands that. That She is - trying to do the same kind of thing that the Heralds are. In a different way, from a different angle, using different words to point at it - but of course that would be the case, they're from another world. 

- and he's angry and he's scared and he wants everything to be all right and for nobody else to die and it's VERY IMPORTANT that Iomedae know exactly what decision She's making, when She chooses Leareth's alliance - 

This is SO EXPENSIVE and they're not even on the war with Cheliax part yet but -

- filling in all the gaps in a world where the gods aren't Good would, of course, be expensive -

There's a sensation like riding a stream over the edge of the world's tallest waterfall, and then - 

- an infirmary in the north. Vanyel is asleep. Leareth is at his bedside. Iomedae is across the room from them, shining with a slight unrealness which makes it instantly evident that She's not one of the crowd of healers vaguely visible behind Her.

This is - what - what's happening - this is so confusing.... 

Focus. He might not have a lot of time, and this is so important. 

Tran turns to look at Iomedae. "Please, please listen to me. You can't trust him. He - obviously he's going to try really hard to get you on his side, he's not stupid - he's going to say whatever he needs to say, to convince you he's repented or whatever, he's very good at that - he's had thousands of years to practice - but he, he's– he's just not the sort of person who's ever going to believe in having scruples, or - actually decide not to kill someone or compulsion them to murder their family or whatever as soon as it's convenient and achieves what he wants..." 

Her eyes are very bright and intense, fixed on him. "What makes you think that?"

"What he's done? He tried to have Vanyel kidnapped as soon as he knew he existed - nearly killed him - then later on he tried to have Vanyel assassinated to get him out of the way. He made that horrible blood-magic demon summoning artifact and it - it wasn't even just single-target, it went after someone's entire family! He killed hundreds of innocent people that way - the King's lifebonded and his daughter nearly died thanks to it, and we lost a Herald-Mage protecting them... He kidnapped our mage-gifted children. He supplied the outKingdom mage who worked for the Lesharas and got Tylendel killed! I - I don't - the Vanyel I know wouldn't ever have forgiven him for that! It's only because Leareth found a way to get to him! Also he literally admitted to us that he caused the Cataclysm!" 

"He did cause the Cataclysm. He isn't sure precisely how much he was at fault, because he hardly remembers it and no records survive, but the damage was done by a weapon deployed to kill him, in a war he could have avoided, if he'd surrendered as soon as it started. Millions of people dead, and I think the true price was even higher than that, because the gods, in this world, are very afraid, and have very few levers to be sure that nothing like it will ever happen again, and use the ones they have quite destructively. A price that on the default trajectory, your world will never stop paying."

"....Well? I feel like that proves my point, that trying to ally with him is just going to lead to a lot more people dying! ...And Valdemar won't want to work with you, if you're working with him."