“Is that in America. That sounds American. Wilbur is that American, is he an American.”

“Yes, Tommy, he’s American. Wait, though, let’s hear him out.”

"What is your problem with Americans?"

“They’re so fucking, American, they’re all, ooooh my name is Dweam and I’m American—“

(The boy is speaking English with a strong British accent.)

“Do you even know if Dream is American or does he just have an American accent when he speaks English.”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT.”

"I don't think it makes sense to hold it against all Americans that Dream is an asshole. I don't hold it against my husband that a bunch of other ghouls tried to eat me."

“Yes it is.”

“It’s okay, Tommy, it’s like how Niki can join us when she gets here. We accept all nations, genders, creeds, and sexualities.”

“I guess.”

"If it makes you feel better I haven't lived in Providence in fifty years."

“Wow. You’re old. How old are you, are you older than Philza?”

"Hundred and twenty nine in June."

“Well, shit.”

“Not older than Philza, then.”

“Still. That’s so old.”

"How old are you two?"

“I am a Big Man. I’m in the prime of my fucking life, baby.”

“Sure you are.” Wilbur ruffles Tommy’s hair, ignoring his protests. “I’m 24, I’m the oldest here. Not sure how old Tommy and Tubbo are, honestly, they won’t say, but I’m pretty sure they’re young. Fundy is just a few weeks old. —Well. Eret might be the oldest here, actually, they say they’re younger than me but there are these legends...”

The big question here is whether helping the side he likes is worth hanging out with a bunch of nemos.

"The prime of your life can be six."

"I am the best age."

This was the problem with not having Pickman, Pickman would have said "six isn't prime." No one gets the setups for his horrible jokes. 

"I am considering which army I want to enlist in."

"Well, man, it's your choice. If you want to side with--with a tyrant who is keeping us down--you can do that. Or you can join us and stand with the people, and help resist Dream and his oppression."

"See, I need more specifics than that to make a decision. Anyone can say they're opposing a tyrant."

"...Well, it technically started with some business with us starting a drug van and Sapnap arresting us, but it didn't--it didn't actually start until we decided to secede? Basically, we declared independence from his land, he said we can't do that, we said yes we can, he said that this means war. So, y'know, war."