"We are looking for mayhem, adventure, beautiful maidens of any gender in need of rescue, dark secrets, ancient gods, lost and/or forbidden lore--"

"--and beautiful vistas for me to paint."

"And beautiful vistas for Pickman to paint because let's be real here self-portrait has not been his area of artistic strength for the past ninety years."

"I'm extremely handsome according to ghoul beauty standards."

"Which mostly involve amount of dripping viscera."

“We have some of those! No beautiful maidens that I’m aware of. I’d say we don’t have any forgotten lore but I suppose I wouldn’t know, would I? Definitionally.”

"Well, someone has to know the forgotten lore or we wouldn't be able to uncover it."

“If you want mayhem, we’re going to war in two days. If you’re interested. If you’re not, it should be pretty easy to avoid.”

"Oh. Excellent. Who against?"

“Just some annoying kids—well, teenagers, they’re all past the age that kids normally grow out of dreaming, but they’re still annoying. They decided to declare independence, there was a whole thing over it, if they don’t surrender in two days then we fight.”

"You could just let them secede. If they're annoying."

“I don’t want—division like that. And it’s not true, like, they can say whatever they want but it’s not—” Dream cuts himself off in frustration. 

Yeah, so, this guy sucks and he's going to help the kids. 

"What's not true?"

“It’s still mine, I dreamed it up, it’s my memories, it listens to me. They can say they’re independent but it doesn’t mean anything.”

"That's not how the Dreamlands works, you know."

“No?”

"You made it but that doesn't mean it belongs to you. Any more than a story or a poem or a song belongs to the person who makes it."

"Yeah, building a city will absolutely not stop the elder gods from leaving Hatheg-Kla to take it over."

“That doesn’t mean they should.”

"'Should' and an Elder Sign will bind a nightgaunt."

“They’re the ones saying I shouldn’t come in because it’s theirs. I’m not the only one making claims here.”

This is why he stopped being king of Ilek-Vad. He hates politics.

"Well, they're the ones who are using it."

"I suppose. It sets a bad precedent, though, doesn't it? I don't mind them using it but I'm not going to listen when they say I can't come in. You said it was like a song--if someone told the person who wrote a song that they couldn't sing one of the lines anymore, that would be wrong too."

Politics is so not his strong point.

"Well, regardless, it is lovely. Pickman'd like to sketch it."

“Of course. Does paper and ink work or should I get canvas and paint as well?”