May 27, 2022 8:08 PM
dreamlands smp
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"We are looking for mayhem, adventure, beautiful maidens of any gender in need of rescue, dark secrets, ancient gods, lost and/or forbidden lore--"

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"--and beautiful vistas for me to paint."

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"And beautiful vistas for Pickman to paint because let's be real here self-portrait has not been his area of artistic strength for the past ninety years."

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"I'm extremely handsome according to ghoul beauty standards."

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"Which mostly involve amount of dripping viscera."

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“We have some of those! No beautiful maidens that I’m aware of. I’d say we don’t have any forgotten lore but I suppose I wouldn’t know, would I? Definitionally.”

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"Well, someone has to know the forgotten lore or we wouldn't be able to uncover it."

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“If you want mayhem, we’re going to war in two days. If you’re interested. If you’re not, it should be pretty easy to avoid.”

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"Oh. Excellent. Who against?"

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“Just some annoying kids—well, teenagers, they’re all past the age that kids normally grow out of dreaming, but they’re still annoying. They decided to declare independence, there was a whole thing over it, if they don’t surrender in two days then we fight.”

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"You could just let them secede. If they're annoying."

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“I don’t want—division like that. And it’s not true, like, they can say whatever they want but it’s not—” Dream cuts himself off in frustration. 

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Yeah, so, this guy sucks and he's going to help the kids. 

"What's not true?"

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“It’s still mine, I dreamed it up, it’s my memories, it listens to me. They can say they’re independent but it doesn’t mean anything.”

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"That's not how the Dreamlands works, you know."

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“No?”

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"You made it but that doesn't mean it belongs to you. Any more than a story or a poem or a song belongs to the person who makes it."

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"Yeah, building a city will absolutely not stop the elder gods from leaving Hatheg-Kla to take it over."

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“That doesn’t mean they should.”

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"'Should' and an Elder Sign will bind a nightgaunt."

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“They’re the ones saying I shouldn’t come in because it’s theirs. I’m not the only one making claims here.”

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This is why he stopped being king of Ilek-Vad. He hates politics.

"Well, they're the ones who are using it."

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"I suppose. It sets a bad precedent, though, doesn't it? I don't mind them using it but I'm not going to listen when they say I can't come in. You said it was like a song--if someone told the person who wrote a song that they couldn't sing one of the lines anymore, that would be wrong too."

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Politics is so not his strong point.

"Well, regardless, it is lovely. Pickman'd like to sketch it."

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“Of course. Does paper and ink work or should I get canvas and paint as well?”

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