Dec 03, 2021 2:11 PM
Kite in some sort of cubical hell

A jagged gash opens in the air, silent and sinuous, first slashing a rough curve through reality and then spreading open farther as though grasped and pulled by some vast alien force. It twists through space, shuddering and pulsing like a creature in pain, wider and wider until—at last—a person tumbles through and it snaps shut all at once with a thunderous crack.

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Well, nobody's at spawn, so they don't see that happening.

What they do see (and what Kite becomes aware of as well) is:

Kite joined the game

<Dream> wtf

<Nihachu> hello Kite!

<Dream> who are you






The trees, unfortunately, do not answer her question.

<Tubbo_> o/


<Kite> what

A man in full armor appears and kills her with a sword! She reappears immediately. It hurts a bit, but not much; definitely not as much as you would expect dying to hurt.

Kite was slain by Dream using [Nightmare]

<Technoblade> L

<Thunder1408> welcome to the dream smp


For a moment she's too stunned to react.

Then she starts laughing.

Then, still giggling, she whips a knife out of her sleeve and jabs it into the stranger's throat, this being the most vulnerable-looking spot she could identify.


Dream was slain by Kite


<Technoblade> CANON

<Technoblade> CANON

<Technoblade> CANON

(The man--presumably Dream--'s body has disappeared, but a lot of items are scattered on the ground, far more than he could reasonably be carrying if the world worked how she's used to it working.)


A good moment to grab all his stuff and bolt? She thinks so.


He's got a lot of really nice stuff, as well as some food and a lot of random blocks of wood and stone. A lot of the combat-useful things--his armor, his sword, his axe--glow purple and are named "Nightmare".

Kite has completed the challenge [Cover Me in Debris]

<Dream> WTF!!!!!

<Dream> she didn't drop anything and one hit from an iron sword should NOT have been enough to kill me

<Technoblade> sure, dream

She reaches a portal that glows the same purple as Dream's former weapons; there's also a path leading away from it.

She has so very much had enough random portals for one day. Path.

As she flees the scene at top speed, things begin to occur to her. Like how strangely regular her surroundings are, and how she picked up all that stuff and didn't need to put it anywhere in order to carry it.

And how the Mysterious Text Thing is still happening.

Can she Mysterious Text Thing while running? Let's find out.

<Kite> That wasn't a sword.

<Kite> Swords are bigger.

There's a bridge over the water and then a rectangular building with paths leading in all four directions away from it! (This is the building pictured in the icon.)

<Dream> what WAS it then, it wasn't an axe

She picks a direction at semi-random, based mostly on blurry glimpses of the skyline and the hope that one of these directions might lead away from civilization and toward a place where it is possible to get really truly lost.

<Kite> I think that's for me to know and you to wonder about in the dark hours of the night.

Well, if her goal is "away from civilization", she might want to consider going off the path. The path just keeps going with various buildings until it reaches water, at least in the direction she's picked. She can't run the whole way either, at least not without eating something.

<Technoblade> KEKW

<Technoblade> hey new person what do you think of anarchy


That's weird, she should be in better shape than this—she slows down, panting—why is she hungry, if she ran herself into the ground she should be about to throw up—she scans the skyline again and heads for the greenest place she can see, or, failing that, off the path and parallel to the shore. Away from where she started. Away from where she started is really the most important part.


There's a forest right past the water; it looks like a river, not an ocean, and thin enough that it shouldn't be too hard to swim through. 

She can swim. She'll try her luck in the forest.

Right, she was asked a question—

<Kite> The rule, not of kings or queens or money or power, not of people or laws, but of nothing.

<Kite> But what is the rule of nothing if not the rule of power by another name? Who rules without a ruler? The man with the biggest stick.

The forest: is a forest.

If she encounters animals, she can get cooked meat (as well as leather/feathers/wool, as applicable) by hitting them with the sword she got from Dream.

<Tubbo_> that's what she said

<TommyInnit> GOTTEM


Thankfully, swimming works better than running does at the moment. She notes for the future that if she needs to bolt again she should try water.

The first time she encounters an animal she just flees from it; the second time, she is reminded of her inexplicable hunger and stops to check if any of the stuff she Mysteriously Possesses is food. Objects appear and disappear in her hands. With some trial and error she manages to put on the armor and hold the sword. She does not manage to get all the way through cataloguing her Mysterious Possessions before she spots a third animal approaching.

She hits it with her stolen sword, just to see what happens.


Cooked meat! Wool! It floats just off the ground in the same way that Dream's items did when she killed him.

<Technoblade> i'd say the man with the biggest stick is retired at the moment but you just killed dream without gear, pretty sure the biggest stick on the server is yours

She is going to write a treatise on the laws of nature that would be the envy of the whole faculty if any of them believed her for a hot second, and then bury it at the bottom of a deep hole because the people of this world are barbarians who greet each other with murder.

She scoops up the meat and wool and keeps walking, munching on meat as she goes.

After a minute, she thoughtfully replies,

<Kite> I confess I've no interest in being hailed as a queen. Particularly not based on the size of my stick.

She can do that for as long as she wants, or at least until she gets tired of it.

<Technoblade> that's good, i'm not a fan of queens

<Technoblade> kinda comes with the whole anarchy thing

<TommyInnit> YORUE A WOMAN?????

She keeps going until she can see no hint or trace of civilization behind her, then climbs a tree, glances back, sees a building, and continues walking. The second time she climbs a tree to check, there are no buildings in sight, so she... keeps walking, just to be sure. At least the squareness of everything makes it easy to avoid getting turned around.

Can she sleep in a treetop? Does this world even have nighttime? Does this world even have sleep? She got hungry instead of tired when she ran for too long. Maybe she should murder some more sheep and stuff herself to increase her endurance.

<Kite> Then it seems you and I have no quarrel.

<Kite> For now.

She can't sleep in a treetop. She does get tired at an approximately normal rate; it's uncorrelated with how much she eats or runs. Day seems to pass at a normal rate as well.

(Also, she's got lots of food in her Mysterious Possessions, once she finishes cataloguing them.)

<Technoblade> nice talking to you, let me know if you ever get interested in anarchy

<TommyInnit> ALL WOMENA RE QUEENS!!!!!!!!!!!


When her attempt at a treetop nap fails conclusively, she climbs down and keeps jogging, sustaining her pace with stolen snacks.


After not too much more of that she gets bored enough to sit down and try to stack blocks of random materials like children's toys.


She can only juggle a few things at a time without putting them down and making them large and non-floaty. If she stacks the wood planks she has, she can get:

- sticks

- a crafting table!

If she puts things on the crafting table, they stay small and floaty; she can fit nine of them, compared to the four she can hold at once. It also comes with an attached recipe book.

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