Aug 17, 2022 4:02 AM
Kite in some sort of cubical hell
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There are such treatises on the laws of nature in her future.

She constructs a crafting table, and puts it down so she can try using it, and...

...regards it suspiciously...

...and tries to put down some random materials next to it.

Now her crafting table is tucked up into the corner of a big blocky stone wall.

Hmm. Yes. That would tend to yield structures of the kind she saw in her mad flight.



All right, time to sit down and read this recipe book cover to cover.


There is so much.

There is... so much.


There is, perhaps, too much.



Nope, she sat down to read this whole book and that is what she will do.




—oh! A bed! Beds exist! This bodes well. Does she have the materials for one?


She does!


She pauses in her reading to make a bed and tuck it away among her Mysterious Possessions, and then goes back to plodding through the list of all the things that can be made at a crafting table. She's going to forget half of this but she wants to have at least glanced over it once before she proceeds.


And eventually it will be nighttime.


When the sun goes down she leaves her crafting table where it is, climbs the tallest tree she can find on short notice, awkwardly plops a bed on top of its canopy, and attempts to sleep there.


That works fine!




And what terrors does the morning bring?


...Well, there are some zombies and skeletons wandering around on the ground, but they seem to be on fire now?


Pretty! She watches them burn for a bit, then exits her tree.

All right. Enough fucking around. It is time... do architecture.


First it is time to figure out how picking up blocks works. Does she need to use tools on them or can she just wrench them loose with her bare hands?


She can wrench them loose with her bare hands. (Or, well, most of them, but she's not near any obsidian, debris, diamonds, gold, etc., so she doesn't really have a way of telling the difference.) It's definitely faster to use tools, though, and if she uses Dream's glowing tools then she can get More Blocks Per Block.

As she clears away her stone wall and crafting table and starts heading further into the woods looking for a good spot to build things, she whimsically starts composing the treatise in her head.

<Kite> Esteemed colleagues, today I will show you wonders the likes of which you could never have imagined.

Wait, no, she accidentally sent that to the Mysterious Text Thing. All further compositions are to be muttered out loud so she doesn't get confused.

<Dream> oh?

<Technoblade> so like are you gonna elaborate on that or

<WilburSoot> oh i can't wait to see them!!! :D

She hums to herself as she works, first clearing a space, then digging a foundation. She tries building in stone at first, but the rough cobbled texture annoys her, so she switches to wood. A house half-buried in a hill, the slope of its roof rising a few steps from where it meets the hilltop and then falling twice that distance to slightly overhang the outer wall.

<Kite> Well, that depends.

<Kite> Can anyone here sing?

<WilburSoot> yeah!!

<Kite> Then perhaps my wonders won't be as unimaginable as I thought.

<Kite> At least not yet. Give me time.

The house is going surprisingly fast. She treks back to her tree to retrieve its bed, puts the bed in the house, and stands back to contemplate her interior decoration. There's light sources somewhere in that recipe book, right? Yes? Torches... yes, she's got some of those. There, now her house has lighting, that's a start...

<WilburSoot> that's alright! imaginable wonders are good too!!

<Kite> I'll prepare a concert. And a concert hall.

She abandons her mostly-finished house, jogs through the woods until it's no longer visible behind her, and starts clearing trees again. All right, now how does she do this with squares...

While she builds, people continue talking in the Mysterious Text Thing, mostly to each other. Occasionally people die or are killed. A sample:

<WilburSoot> hi!

<WilburSoot> i stole this bell

<WilburSoot> from the prime church

<WilburSoot> hi

<Tubbo_> hi

<WilburSoot> i exploded

<WilburSoot> but im okay

<Tubbo_> glad

<WilburSoot> hey phil

<WilburSoot> the creeper blew a hole in the wall

<WilburSoot> what is this

<Ph1LzA> vc son

<WilburSoot> wait this is a seriosu thing

<WilburSoot> i am okay

<WilburSoot> dont worry

<WilburSoot> i saw nothing

<WilburSoot> i dont want serious talks thank :)

Once she has the principles worked out, she backtracks until she can see civilization again, and then she rebuilds her original concept bigger and fancier. It's made almost entirely of wood, with a soaring vaulted ceiling whose rigid angles are slightly softened by upside-down stairs. The acoustics are the best she could do on short notice and she's going to have to iterate on that because by the standards she's used to they're frankly a disgrace. It seats sixty audience members, in boats and minecarts and on half-height wooden slabs because she couldn't find a recipe for chairs. A fence separates the stage from the audience. She really wishes she'd been able to make controllable lighting; there's just no sense of drama without a dial to turn to slowly bring up the lights. Still.

<Kite> Gentlemen, scholars, and those who are neither,

<Kite> The Hall is complete.

<Kite> Not my best work, but it's functional.

<ItsFundy> cool cool cool

<ItsFundy> so like

<ItsFundy> where… is it

<DropsByPonk> ^^^

<Kite> I don't know the names of any of your landmarks.

<Kite> There's a mansion on a bay with a road leading straight to its door. If you take that road to the mansion, then continue past it across the river and into the forest, then turn right, you should get here in short order.

<Kite> I must ask the audience to hold all friendly greetings until after the show.

The first person to arrive is an anthropomorphic pig! Now that she’s not being murdered, she might notice that there are floating letters above him, declaring his name to be Technoblade. “So like, do we gotta sing, or are you going to be doing that for us?” He turns slightly and addresses the air. “Yeah I know, but eh, whatever, I’ve got all three lives left and she seems cool, stop freaking out.”


Kite is standing on the stage, looking slightly down on the rows of seating. She tried some tricks with lighting to properly highlight herself, but she isn't satisfied with how they came out; she only looks a little bit dramatically ethereal. Also, she should really have a costume, but she has no idea how to make new clothes.

"I will be singing," she assures him. Her accent is unfamiliar, with aspects that sound British or maybe Australian and aspects that sound American Southern.

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