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Maybe he's less dead than he at first appeared
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"Soul to soul, after dying, but before either soul had moved on. Well. If you don't remember anything, you don't remember anything."

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"Oh. I don't—" Pause. Frown. "I do. I don't know what we talked about, memory's fuzzy."

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"Ahuh. For the record, kid, that's alarming."

Gojo sounds more delighted by the novelty than alarmed, though.

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"Yeah no I... I am kind of alarmed. I did not know he could erase memories."

    "He can't," says Ieiri as she pulls her gloves off and starts packing her tools again. "Not without your consent. Whatever you forgot, you chose to."

"Huh. Uh, who are you? I usually like to be at least one of awake or clothed when meeting people for the first time..."

    "Ieiri Shoko, jujutsu medic," she explains. "I was the one who patched your friends up after the special grade and Sukuna were done with them."

Itadori flinches at that.

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Gojo stands and moves to pat Tokan's head. Pat, pat.

"It's okay. They're alive and not permanently injured. Sukuna was playing, not trying to kill them or maim them. I won't say they're fine, but they're recovering well."

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"Can I see them?"

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"... Kid. It's not that I don't trust them, because I do. They absolutely proved that they have what it takes to be serious sorcerers, and serious friends, too. I think they'd both sooner cut off their own arm than betray you, and I have no intention of keeping you away from them for years and never letting them know you got better. But. They are teenagers up against some of the most vicious, petty, powerful people in Japan. People that play these sorts of spy games for a living, and have been doing it for years. What does it look like if both of them are surprisingly fine with your death? The key to keeping things secret is to not tell anyone."

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"...they could. Act?"

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"Convincingly? On no notice? That's a lot to ask of them, kid. This is going to be hard enough to pull off without introducing even more problems into the equation, and keeping this to only the bare minimum of people that need to know." Pause. "Speaking of, Ijichi, you get to be kiddo's handler. I don't like it either, but you already know, so we might as well use you. Oh, and if you so much as hint to anyone that he's alive," Gojo gives a menacing smile, "we both know how much I will enjoy killing you. Clear?"

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    Ijichi squeaks like a mouse and nods many times.

"I... guess."

        Ieiri sighs and shakes her head. "So troublesome."

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"It won't be forever. Ideally it won't even be very long, I just want to blitz train you until you won't die the minute I leave the room. Think of it as incentive."

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Itadori inhales deeply, hops off the table, and bows. "Yes, Sensei!"

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"Fortunately I have an excuse to neglect my other students and play favorites. The second-years want your friends to participate in the sister-school goodwill event, so they're all playing study group together."

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"...aww, man!"

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"Hey, hey, calm down. If you improve fast enough you can go, too. It'd be a good time for a dramatic reveal!"

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He punches his palm. "Yes, Sensei!"

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"Good! Now. Shoko, do you need anything to keep him officially dead? Spare corpse, maybe?"

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"No one checks," she sighs. "They find it distasteful. I can deal with it."

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"Thank you, you're a treasure. Are there presents you want that I can offer as tribute?"

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"Keep him alive until he gets all fingers," she says, gesturing towards Itadori with her head.

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“Rest assured, I’ll do my very best,” says Gojo, who bows with sincerity and everything.

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Then he bounces back up, grin back on his face.

“Next! Ijichi, if anyone wonders why you’re slightly more nervous and jumpy than usual, feel free to say I ranted about killing you for this whole affair, and made some threats. And go about your day like everything is normal.”

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"That's not even a lie," he mutters to himself.

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“The truth makes a better lie than making something up!” he says cheerfully. “Okay kiddo, we’re relocating to somewhere secret. Ish. This will be disorienting.”

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"...what, are we teleporting?"

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