"I want to work for him. Is that a terrible idea? You do it."

"Razmir is a fantastically good wizard and somewhere in the middle of the mortal-to-god scale and the planet's best wondrous items crafter and easy to persuade to do good whenever it doesn't cost Him anything and I get along with Him very well and He'd probably be happy to have you, and He also burned down the main port on Lake Encarthan because He was angry. Like, to be clear, this wasn't a rational calculated strategic decision, He was just really, really pissed that He outgunned them so much and they still wouldn't surrender. We have a severe emigration crisis of everyone with enough Wisdom to be a cleric because they are too Wise to work for Him. I do not intend to betray him and am quite happy with my decision to work for Him, but, I am expecting to get asked 'did you lie at any point in this conversation' under a Zone of Truth spell before I leave so I do feel compelled to give you this warning."

"Wow, I have never in my life felt so torn," she says completely sincerely. 

"Are there not... magic items... to help with emotional regulation... if he's depressed or anxious I have good drugs for that but a short fuse is much harder to address pharmacologically..."

"That's what Wisdom-boosting headbands are for, but Wisdom and Intelligence go on the same headband and wizardry is completely Intelligence-dependent, and he's recently had higher priorities than replacing his old Intelligence-and-Charisma-and-various-secondary-effects-he-doesn't-advertise-to-me headband with one with all three." Like trying to solve immortality! "He has an IOUN stone for it but it isn't as powerful as a strong headband."

"You could give him five diamonds on the condition he enhance Wisdom with them."

"Could I? Marvelous, would he like that, Telriana?"

"He will be offended! And also do it, and be glad he did it. Just, still offended."

"Perhaps I could give him more diamonds for the exclusive use in enhancing stats generally construed?"

"He will be more and very happy with that offer!"

" - will he do us too? Is it safe to be near him for that?"

Wag wag wag!

"For spellsilver, definitely! Most of the cost is the diamond. And - I'd expect so, especially if his Wisdom is already enhanced."

"What's your best guess of the provocation he'd need to instead decide to Dominate us? Including 'Cheliax may have requested this of him'."

"I think Razmir doesn't want to declare war on you and Cam because Cam has strange unknown abilities with no known limits and that might be picking a fight even a demigod would rather not pick! I can theoretically imagine that Cheliax could bribe Him a sufficiently huge amount to do that if you didn't have a Lawful agreement in advance drawn up, but it would probably take 'direct support for ascension to full godhood as a power independent of Asmodeus' plus a contract too theologically simple for Asmodeus to be willing to affix His name on it, and I doubt they could pay Razmir enough to break His alignment, being Lawful is extremely valuable if you're Evil."

"... If you start mocking Him to His face He might lose control."

" - all right. In that case I think we both want to be Wished up to be smarter and better in every way, please." On this she expects that she and Cam agree.

"Sounds exciting."

"Razmir is happy to sell you this! It might take Him a week or three, just because of how many ninth-circle spells that is? And I do recommend having Him start on His Wisdom first."

"... Razmir absolutely wants enormous quantities of diamonds, rubies, and spellsilver in exchange. Also everything else on this shopping list." She can provide the shopping list; it has a lot of stuff on it.

Cam starts to skim the list for bad ideas. "What are the rubies for?"

"They're a spell component for a lot of different spells and magic items," she says, "if not as many as diamonds. Also he needs them for a secret classified project that I am fairly confident isn't harmful to your interests."

Other things on the list include specific mixes of incense and of various natural oils?

"Is the incense and oil for having a spa day or is that magic too?"

"Everything He wants that much of is magic. Most of the luxury stuff He wants boils down to 'stuff you know how to make that He doesn't even know He wants yet.'"

"How many back-and-forths of 'you can have this if you promise to use it for that' are we going to need before it's remotely a good idea to go to Razmiran where I can do things like install electricity in his house?"

"One meeting with oaths of - colloquial language - not picking fights without giving the others time to evacuate, especially with each other - under zone of truth with everyone present in Axis under Abadar's protection and with one of His strongest outsiders observing it and very stringent terms. We finish this meeting, Razmir draws up a contract, I hop it back and forth a few times making corrections, we visit Aktun and everyone signs and swears."

"Acceptable to me in broad terms, I suspect."