"I know about beans - sorry, I'm not an alchemist at all, Razmir might know this or you might need a specialist, all I've got is that these are very small bits of stuff of defined specific types - but I do get why making beans obsolete is huge -"

"I mean, they're still a great source of protein, but it's nice for farmers to be able to specialize harder."

"Absolutely! But - Kyonin, people have balanced diets, Razmiran they don't, yes people are taller in Kyonin and it's not just the elfiness but also in Razmiran so many people are starving. We have refugees coming from the east into Razmiran because their home countries are being invaded by Galt, and they do not have any food, and there is already almost no food to give them! And I think it's much more important that they have any food than that it be very healthy food, so I've been pushing a lot more on that." 

"You are absolutely right to do so! Calories then fat and protein then micronutrients, but, like, with a level of urgency that remembers that if you skip all the micronutrients everyone will be cretins dying of scurvy."

"If you can give me just full lists of what all of those are and what foods you find them in that will honestly be huge, I'm getting mostly just general categories here - okay I am not surprised that the reason that elves are smarter than anyone else is that everyone else is eating badly given how short they are but it's still something I didn't know yet -"

"I mean, I can't rule out elves just being lucky, but yeah, if people aren't eating you're leaving a lot of value on the ground -" He pulls up his nutrition notes. "Calories you know, you get them from carbohydrates - starches and sugar - or from protein - meat, beans, eggs, milk - or from fat - oil, butter, lard - alcohol - not an efficient use of grain, it has calories but it has fuckall else and is bad for you for other reasons - and you can live without carbohydrates but not without protein or fat, but you probably don't want to because grain is cheap and tasty. Micronutrients - vitamins and minerals -" He can go into lecture mode on this.

Telri is just going to inhale this until he stops talking. Partway through she'll start taking notes in Elvish.

Good people are really annoying. 

"I have already given Cam permission to make food."

"Yes, but it will be long run ideal if they also know how to make food, I can't be everywhere at once!"

"You can be on the moon and hit everyone at once!"

"No, I can be on the moon and hit roughly half the people at once with terrible aim and the risk of dropping a sack of potatoes on someone's head if I do it in large enough packages to not be really inconvenient to collect at scale!"

"Even commoners don't die of that! - I want a top-tier headband," she adds to Telri.

"- I'm sorry, Carissa," Telri says, switching over immediately and soberly to Sane Diplomat mode. "The interests of Razmir here are almost certainly served by making you a Greater Headband of Intelligence, but I did not as it happens bring it with me; Razmir or his clerics can Plane Shift or Gate your payment over to a secure landing space in Axis once we've negotiated a deal."

She'll pause.

"My interests here are that I want everyone not to go hungry, and that I want to serve Razmir's interests, because he's my boss. Razmir's interests here are, roughly, that he slightly wants to have more of Cam's luxuries, definitely wants to trade vast quantities of terrifyingly powerful magic items for even vaster quantities of spell components and spellsilver, and though I have not had orders to say this specific thing and also tremendously wants - but is probably not prepared to tremendously pay for - knowledge of who Cam is, where he's from, and why he's here. I suspect the second one is most relevant to your side of the affair, but it's also fairly likely I'm missing something?"

She seems quite happy to criticize her boss. Good people: still weird. Well, unLawful Good people. Iomedaeans don't criticize their boss like that.

"Is he going to do anything terrible with the spell components and spellsilver, Cam won't want to give it to him if he is."

"It's true, I won't."

"So he's most obviously going to use them to make lots of terrifyingly powerful magical items, and also lots of wands and minor wondrous items, some of which will probably go to his army, and to have his wizards and clerics cast Permanency and other permanent-competence-increasing spells and useful support magic, which will strengthen his army as well as his populace but is not terrible if you don't think his army will be used for causes you disapprove of. He's also going to use them for Planar Bindings, some of which will absolutely be for outsiders doing terrible things, since he sometimes summons kytons. If you want him to not summon any more kytons than he would without your trades he will do that, if you want him to stop summoning kytons altogether he will sell you that, Razmir quite wants to trade magic items for spellsilver and does not particularly care what kinds of outsiders he summons other than that he wants to employ them cheaply and have them obey his orders."

"His chief geostrategic goal right now, which anything that helps him would aid, is that he'd rather not fight a war with Galt because they can beat his armies and all he could do would be to turn Isarn into a crater, and I think the stronger he visibly is the less likely this war is to take place and the more likely Cyprian is to invade anywhere else, but right now if the next - uh, not sure what the Taldane is, big war covering most of the continent? - breaks out he will either stay neutral or fight on the side of Cheliax because they're Galt's main rival, and Cam will probably disapprove of that because most everyone who isn't Asmodean and doesn't neighbor Galt does, but I don't think getting him spellsilver will make him more likely to start a war rather than less."

"Is summoning kytons particularly bad, can you only summon them if you want them to do bad stuff? You can't make them dig ditches?"

"They want to cause suffering because they're kytons. You probably want to pay him to not summon kytons, unless I guess they get up to worse when unemployed in the Material in which case you want to pay him to summon kytons. I am against general war in Avistan and fine with Razmir being stronger if it happens."

Cam asks the peanut gallery if they happen to know what kytons get up to when they're not on summon. "Me too probably! Can I like, pay Cyprian off or anything, what's the diplomatic sitch there?"

" - When Galt seceded from Cheliax, it had the world's best army, which is how it seceded, and an empty treasury. Cyprian was the best general, which he parleyed into being chosen as their new technically-not-king, and he's very popular back home is because he wins lots of wars, which he says is about freeing the people of Druma and the River Kingdoms from their tyrannical rulers and establishing new rational, benevolent states with enlightened government, but in fact means making his friends puppet monarchs who pay tribute to Galt. So Galt makes war pay for itself, and because Cyprian is really spectacularly good as a general, this will probably keep happening until he dies or the next general war breaks out, when everyone will pick sides depending on whether they're more scared of him or of Cheliax. I don't know if you can bribe him to stop or not and given how Galt works I don't know if he'll be overthrown if he ever stops winning battles or not."

(The version Carissa heard was quite different but she doesn't know if it was in any sense true.)

"I'd say 'maybe he and Cheliax can go down at each other's throats' but with afterlives on the line it's a different matter, my afterlives don't work anything like these. Oh well. I don't think making Razmir better able to defend his borders is so obviously a bad idea that I'm unwilling to countenance it."

"He's Lawful, you can presumably even be like 'these are only for border defense' and get that. I think trading him lots of spellsilver for lots of finished products is a great idea for us.

...is that an Amulet of the Planes," she asks Telri.

"Razmir says technically not, because amulets of the planes are overcomplicated luxuries designed by a madman, and this one uses a tuning rod to aim and has per-day charges instead of trying to make you go to an arbitrary plane by sheer force of will and thus sticking yourself with a one-in-twenty chance of stranding yourself in Abaddon.

... But yes, sort of."