Aug 01, 2021 10:00 PM
in principle I think you should be able to guess the entire premise from the title
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"I'm being facetious, I do that sometimes."

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" - okay. I do want you to - get to do things that are important to you that don't hurt anybody who doesn't deserve it."

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"Cool, I'm glad to hear it. You want me to land this thing in the desert?"

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"Yeah. Right outside Sothis, if you can."

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"I can! Any other game plan we ought to go over before we wander in?"

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"If I can, I want to buy it in my own right; if that's not allowed but they'll let my husband buy it, we can claim that's you. For a good package it's probably going to cost 25k up front, we should probably be able to pay in diamonds. I'm going to have Tongues up, and I can cast it on you also, so if you want to do snarky asides do them in some language from your plane and no one'll understand you except me. If we seem to have attracted concerning attention, or if anyone materializes in to shoot at us, I'm going to grab you and try to Dimension Door out; you can use the rod of absorption I got you to absorb any spells they cast before I'm able to get the Dim Door off, or I guess observably you can drown them in fish sauce if you'd rather. I'm not expecting anyone to pull that off, they'd have a pretty small window to scry us in and high level adventurers who'll do assassinations on short notice aren't a dime a dozen."

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"I appreciate that you have anticipated the need for snarky asides. Should I make the diamonds in advance?"

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"Yes, then we won't have to explain what you can do. A fourth circle wizard could in principle have saved up for in in her own right. I'll disguise myself - if you're wondering why I don't just disguise myself male and go myself, I have to give them accurate identifying info for the resurrection -"

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"I hadn't gotten as far as guessing but I would expect you to find being perceived as a dude unpleasant in itself. Your reason is also good. How many diamonds, cut, carat, color -"

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"Three of them, same size as I had you bribe my teacher with. They should be pure, which I think means clear. Cut doesn't matter. Probably they should look natural, it'll raise fewer questions."

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Uncut clear diamonds. Any surprises in the legal code?

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Osirion has a reasonably short and straightforward legal code which is mostly reasonable aside from having curfews for unaccompanied women.

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Is it curfew time now?

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"It's technically illegal for you to go unaccompanied so just as well we were planning for me to go. Other than that nothing too weird," he pronounces, and he offers her the diamonds and opens the ship door.

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Carissa disguises herself as the local ethnicity and they can walk through the desert - unpleasantly cold rather than unpleasantly warm, right now, as it's the middle of the night - towards the lights of Sothis. She makes some floating light to illuminate their path. "I can make horses, too, if we want."

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Cam brings his leather coat and puts it on. "I don't know how to ride a horse."

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"That makes sense."

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"Didn't even when I didn't have wings! They're obsolete."

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"Riding horses is painful and unpleasant but useful and I wouldn't expect Chaotic Good people to be very big on things that are that."

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"They're not obsolete because people don't like them, some folks ride horses as a hobby, they're obsolete because modern vehicles are faster, cleaner, and easier to operate. Also I don't actually come from an entire plane of beings who share my exact approach to moral philosophy, I'm just a dude."

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"You're not from a plane of apsels?"

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"I am, but we are not united in moral philosophy, just in the power set."

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" - are there Lawful Evil ones?"

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"There are probably some apsels who would read that way? I think probably not many - the closest you get to a legal system there is a neighborhood association, for one thing, and also most apsels are not psychologically damaged in any of the many ways that lead to evil - but there's billions, so probably at least a few."

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