"Take Nectar," Mariam says. "More than you do. My guess is about twice as much. And not at all when you want to see Inaaya."

She returns to the apartment.

Twice as much as zero is still zero. Mordred leaves.

Lev is reading Margaret Mead. "How was your date?"

"...the date part went great," Mordred says, because he's still processing the conversation he just had.

"You seem preoccupied."

"I am. Uh. We talked about books and travelling and it was very nice and we had sex and it was excellent and then I talked to Louise about languages and it was also excellent and then Mariam interrogated me about the cult and it was basically fine and then we talked about books some more and that was good. And then on my way out Mariam told me she does not have a high opinion of my life expectancy if I don't figure out how to claw my way to power and I'm. You know. Worried about that."

"Well, you're in fact not in the cult."

"Yes, the thing I'm worried about is Mariam realizing that."

"What do you think would happen?"

"No idea!" He flops backwards onto the bed. "I can survive dying at least sometimes but -- I would really rather not test it and the rest of us can't."

"It-- might be a good idea to break it off with Inaaya."

Lev is right and Mordred does not want him to be right. "It might be but --"

Pause. "...I really, really want her to be okay. And -- she -- said it was a very nice change to not be owned."

"--I have no grounds to criticize you for maintaining romantic relationships with cultists that are a horrible idea."

"I mean, you're right. It is in fact a horrible idea.

I just. She was so happy about it when I agreed that no meant no and I wasn't going to push."

"Yeah. That's-- how it is in the cult."

"Yeah. -- she was sixteen when she joined. She's nineteen now."

Lev grimaces. "So she's never--"

"Yeah. And I keep thinking, when I was sixteen I went to college but I would have gone anywhere if it meant leaving, and -- if it were me, if it were you, and I could have given you space and someone who wasn't hurting you and -- not just a way out but an out to go to --"

"A chance to see that there are-- any people in the world who are good."

"She didn't have Marlo."

"She said her parents were good to her but," Lev was there, he knows what comes after the word but.

"...I want her to be okay and I want her to have space and a relationship where she isn't being threatened or owned and I want to make a world where she can be brilliant and curious and free and --"

"You love her."

He stops for a moment, and then says, "When I was talking to Gale I said I'd be better at saving the world if he was in it."

"And -- I wasn't wrong about that."

"But I want to make a better world for Inaaya and that's a terrifying amount to care about a person and also I don't think I can stop and I'm not sure I should."

"I mean, in my experience, trying to stop loving people doesn't work very well."

"Also that."

"And if you can get her to leave-- she knows a lot of the secrets of the cult, and has psychic powers, and doesn't seem to be evil."

"And you love her."

"...it would be good if. There was someone one of us loved we could save."