Honestly Mordred does a little bit believe her about that but mostly because he's not already dead.

(It's very elegant how in fact he has not interrogated Mariam at all and yet he's still learning more than he expected to at any point. This is a bad thought process.)

"Captain Walker is... the better person to be working for, I think. If you were still working for Trammel I don't think Joan would give you a month."

"If you're competent, if you keep your head down, if you don't try to get promoted, maybe you'll be alive until it's more convenient for someone else for you to be dead."

The first thing he thinks of that is none of too-revealing, obviously stupid, or out of character is "I'm flattered you think that would be longer than a month."

Mariam can almost certainly tell how measured he is about sounding casual; he's not sure he has room to care.

"Odd that you wouldn't decide to get out if you have reasonable expectations of your life expectancy."

"--I suppose there are various reasons that you might want to stay in regardless. None of which you're interested in telling me and many of which I might want to investigate."

If he's lucky Savitree and Walker will be on bad enough terms that that'll be difficult. If he's very lucky she won't find anything and will draw her own conclusions and maybe even tell him what they are.

Mordred has no delusions that he's especially lucky.

"Mm," he says instead of any of that. "Have a good day."

"Take Nectar," Mariam says. "More than you do. My guess is about twice as much. And not at all when you want to see Inaaya."

She returns to the apartment.

Twice as much as zero is still zero. Mordred leaves.

Lev is reading Margaret Mead. "How was your date?"

"...the date part went great," Mordred says, because he's still processing the conversation he just had.

"You seem preoccupied."

"I am. Uh. We talked about books and travelling and it was very nice and we had sex and it was excellent and then I talked to Louise about languages and it was also excellent and then Mariam interrogated me about the cult and it was basically fine and then we talked about books some more and that was good. And then on my way out Mariam told me she does not have a high opinion of my life expectancy if I don't figure out how to claw my way to power and I'm. You know. Worried about that."

"Well, you're in fact not in the cult."

"Yes, the thing I'm worried about is Mariam realizing that."

"What do you think would happen?"

"No idea!" He flops backwards onto the bed. "I can survive dying at least sometimes but -- I would really rather not test it and the rest of us can't."

"It-- might be a good idea to break it off with Inaaya."

Lev is right and Mordred does not want him to be right. "It might be but --"

Pause. "...I really, really want her to be okay. And -- she -- said it was a very nice change to not be owned."

"--I have no grounds to criticize you for maintaining romantic relationships with cultists that are a horrible idea."

"I mean, you're right. It is in fact a horrible idea.

I just. She was so happy about it when I agreed that no meant no and I wasn't going to push."

"Yeah. That's-- how it is in the cult."

"Yeah. -- she was sixteen when she joined. She's nineteen now."

Lev grimaces. "So she's never--"

"Yeah. And I keep thinking, when I was sixteen I went to college but I would have gone anywhere if it meant leaving, and -- if it were me, if it were you, and I could have given you space and someone who wasn't hurting you and -- not just a way out but an out to go to --"

"A chance to see that there are-- any people in the world who are good."

"She didn't have Marlo."

"She said her parents were good to her but," Lev was there, he knows what comes after the word but.

"...I want her to be okay and I want her to have space and a relationship where she isn't being threatened or owned and I want to make a world where she can be brilliant and curious and free and --"