'Specify further.'

"- where have you been, in between those.  And what were you doing."

'In the realm whence I came initially, gathering strength.  I was severely weakened and forced to leave Earth when one of the members of the initial set of vampires killed the other five.'

"Is that so."

They nod.

"Is that because it - interfered with the artistic completeness of the project, or what -"

'It was not what I had intended.'

"Their species is sustained by creating art," Cam tells Judy. "I wouldn't have thought vampires were art but it seems they count."

'Vampires are the most exquisitely artful concept that has ever been conceived of.'

"To each their own."

" - Uh, so, if the bar part of this place is a person, then what is the rest of the establishment?  Are they also people?"

"There are infirmary and security staff. The woman currently in the infirmary has some kind of issue - Bar doesn't know what it is because her world doesn't produce publications she could access and guess from - and can't hold a normal conversation, but the guy in Security is cool, will probably be able to fill any locality-limited request you have, but his magic won't work if he goes to a world other than his own or Milliways. There is a possibly personable giant squid in the lake in the backyard. The entity or entities in control of the door are referred to as 'the landlords' but do not manifest their will in any other way. Other parts of the establishment don't seem to be people, just variously magical effects."

"Gosh, okay.  Uh, so, if I'm staying here indefinitely while you do whatever, does that look like camping out in the backyard, or - are there showers anywhere; will I have to swim with the squid to bathe - "

"The upstairs is a hotel, I am happy to buy you a room - Bar takes counterfeit, I can keep that up however long - complete with bathroom facilities."

"This is more convenient than many alternatives!  I appreciate that, thank you."

(She has little fangs visible when she smiles enough.)

Cam drops a sack of gold on Bar; it disappears and there's a room key and a napkin that says Room 2001.

"Oh, wow, 'very poof' indeed.  Do you mind if I go check that out or did you have anything else you wanted to cover."

"Uh, there's time dilation between noninteracting parts of the establishment, and we can't guarantee how it'll run. Would you like a computer compatible with mine so you can send me messages?
The kind I have requires a brain chip - very poof, but still something you'd want to know - and there are kinds that do not."

"Uh, what does the brain chip, like, do - "

"There are billions of people with abilities like mine and things we can conjure include unpublished files. If someone wants to keep their stuff private from us, it can never be set to recorded format unencrypted. The brain chip uses the user's cognition to encrypt, because one thing we can't do is make minds, so there's no way for us to get around it. This also incidentally makes the device thought-controlled. The non-brain-chip kind is still fairly annoying to copy stuff out of, but not that hard. Uh, if you do want a brain chip we should check with Bar and have the infirmary lady spot me in case vampire brains are different."

"Could I maybe . . . upgrade later."

"Yes, no problem. Here's one of what they've got." Cam hands over a computer.

"Cool, thanks.  Are interfaces from whenever-brain-chips-happen intuitive enough to 2014 people or do I need lessons?"

"I gave them lessons but you've seen a computer before so the built-in tutorial will probably be fine."