"We haven't fucked."

"You haven't fucked." He scoffs. "You haven't fucked. You got some shiny new boyfriend out of fucking nowhere and you haven't. Even. Fucked."

"Yeah."

He leans forward so he can rest his head on his elbows, pressing his eyes against his palms. "Why, Iwasaki? Why did you find a boyfriend, why did you find some random guy when you had, you had anyone, you've known Akira for years, it could've been him, or, or—

"—it could've been me."

"Toshiki—"

"What did I just say," he says, then pauses to take in a shuddering breath before continuing, "about saying my name with that filthy mouth of yours?"

"I'm sorry."

"I bet it's really fucking funny to you. I bet you loved seducing the straight guy, didn't you, and getting to bang twins to boot? Gotta be great for your fucking ego, Iwasaki. Chew 'em up and spit 'em out, that's the Iwasaki motto. Use 'em up, don't give a fuck about the damage you leave behind."

Yutaka can't... really argue with that. It's true. He did love seducing the straight guy, he did love getting to bang twins, and he did in fact not care. It's just...

...he kinda does care, now.

"I'm the stupid one. It's me. I'm the idiot. What did I even expect? That if I learned to suck cock really well you'd like me? If you were gonna like me you'd have done that ten years ago. I was stupid, and delusional, and I ruined everything—"

"Toshiki, stop," he says, grabbing Toshiki's wrists. "Look at me."

He does.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I didn't realise how you felt. And—even if I had, I wouldn't have cared, and that would've been wrong. I'm sorry. I did chew you up and spit you out, I was a callous asshole, I didn't really consider the consequences of my actions. I never meant to hurt you."

"...who are you?"

"I'm... a selfish asshole. A bit too charming for my own good, and too careless besides."

Toshiki wrenches his wrists free and looks away, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeves. "You don't even have any idea, do you? You just—my dad isn't a piece of shit. Or, he wasn't—but—"

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"You know I'm completely fucked, right? I'm not gay, except now I kinda gotta be, right, because no self-respecting girl is ever going to touch me with a ten foot pole, everyone at Nada's talking about how it's the genes, how they always knew I must've been, must've been in the closet, in denial, scared. If one twin's gay, why not the other, huh? And I just thought, I thought, I thought I mattered—"

"You do matter." Why is this going so much worse than last time. Is it because Toshiki isn't around everyone else and having to stay composed. Fuck, it is, isn't it. He was in a much worse way than Yutaka thought... "You do too matter. I'm, I just—not me, Toshiki. Don't, don't waste your time and your emotions on me. Please? I'm not worth it. I'm not worth your heartache."

He scoffs. "Yeah, well, you got that one right."

Here's their... food...?

Toshiki looks away and sniffles.

"Thank you," Yutaka murmurs to the waiter.

"Was that why you called?" he says after a minute of trying to recover some shreds of dignity. "To brag about how you got a new boyfriend and it was never going to be me?"

"...no. I'm not bragging. I just—it took me so long to realise, to notice your feelings, how you must've felt. And it wouldn't have been right. It just wouldn't have been right to lead you on, or, or ghost you, or something. I, I have to be a man and own up to my fuckups. You deserved to hear it from me, and you deserve someone better than me. You deserve to get someone great, girl or guy or whatever. And I wouldn't want to, I wouldn't want you to—hold back—"