"It was a site of veneration of the Mouth very long ago. I recognized the symbols from our own rituals. It... fell apart before I could do anything with it."

Mordred has, of course, been taking notes on this entire conversation. "Do you know other names for the Mouth? Everything has - a lot of names, we have guesses about which things are connected but not much more than guesses."

"The inner circle called it the Liar from Beyond. From the Dallol site and Acuna's translation of the Revelations of Dagon, I believe it to be the Prisoner of Dagon."

Nod. "Any connection to the Fisher from Outside, that you know of?"

"The Fisher from Outside is Gol-Goroth. Echavarria claimed that the cult venerated Gol-Goroth, but"-- he pauses and breathes slowly for several moments from pain-- "told the Inner Circle we did not."

Pause, to let him breathe. Mordred reminds himself firmly that Ayers specifically told them to ask him questions. "Do you know why he did that? Do you know what the cult wants, from venerating the Mouth?"

"Power. The Nectar--"

"Is Dagon, like, relevant to all this, should we be looking into him too-- uh, the Nectar does, what, it hooks you obviously and makes you focus and seek out sensation and also maybe worship it--" sudden flash of inspiration "--speaking of names do you know anything about Azathoth?"

"The Nectar makes you strong. It makes you more focused, yes, and smarter and more observant and more precise in your movements."

"...in Bangkok it makes you violent."

"Wittier, better able to catch the subtleties of social interaction, full of-- insight-- flashes of insight you could get no other way--" Doubles over in pain. "...It did not make them violent. But it does have its own price."

"In addition to the various prices of addiction?"

"It takes away your goals. You take it to gain knowledge. To learn how to make someone happy, or love you. To make yourself safe. To make the world a better place. And... once you are on it for long enough... you stop wanting whatever it is you wanted before. You want power, so that you can use it to accumulate more power, so that you can use it to accumulate more power, so that..." He cuts off his sentence with a gasp of pain.

"Was that all they were after, then? Did the cult ever have any goals that weren't just power for its own sake?"

"Echavarria perhaps did. Once. But-- once you're on it for long enough-- all there is, is power, and gaining more power, and showing off exactly how weak and helpless everyone else is before you..."
 
 
 
 

"Christ."

Lev is putting together some facts here.

He looks at Lev. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be, it was fine."

"I was cruel, and I'm sorry."

"I was, was stupid and I kept making mistakes and making you angry and--"

"I was too foolish to see what the drug was turning me into," Ayers says, "before-- I was afraid I would never be able to apologize. I was afraid I would never see you again."

"You can't get rid of me that easily," he says, failing at humor.

Pat pat pat? Continued self-hatred? Steadfastly pretending he's not present for this because it feels kinda not intended to be public?

His face is all wet.