time-travelling xichen is king of the babies
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"What rules?" 

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"The rules! Three hundred rules. They say you have to be quiet when you play or you can't see Mommy."

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"Three hundred rules? That's so many! Why would anyone need that many rules? Whose rules are they? I'm loud when I play all the time and I only don't see Mommy when she's on a night-hunt. And Mommy says I can't come on a night hunt until I'm older no matter what." 

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"Uncle's rules. Your uncle does not give you rules?"

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"I don't have any uncles! Daddy's an only child and Mommy comes from the mountain." 

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This maybe explains why Wei Ying is too loud. "You should get an Uncle so you learn the right rules."

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"A-Zhan," she says softly, and is -- stuck, there. Can't reach any words.

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"But I don't want three hundred rules. That is too many." 

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"How many do you have?"

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"Ummm. We are in a town and your Mommy is a cultivator so there are Mommy and Daddy rules and town rules and company rules. The Mommy and Daddy rules are that I'm not allowed on a night-hunt until I have a sword and I'm not allowed to have a sword until I have a Golden Core and I'm not allowed to go far enough away that I can't see Mommy or Daddy without permission and I'm not allowed to eat anything that Mommy and Daddy didn't say was food and I hafta yell for help if I get hurt and I hafta be nice. The town rules are that you can only pee in an outhouse and not on a tree or anything and I'm not allowed to go in any buildings that don't have Mommy or Daddy in them without permission and that I always have permission to be in our room at the inn if we're at an inn. The company rules are that I'm not allowed to try to talk any other cultivators into taking me on a night-hunt or into taking me riding on their sword without Mommy or Daddy's permission and if anyone is dressed really fancy I hafta ask Mommy or Daddy before hugging them." 

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Skeptical blinking. That doesn't sound like enough rules.

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"A-Zhan," she tries again. "Wei Ying doesn't need to follow all three thousand Lan Sect rules. A-Zhan doesn't have to either, baobei. A-Zhan will still get to see Mommy if he plays loudly."

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He doesn't think that's correct. 

"Ask Gege about rules," he tells Wei Ying. "Gege is smart and knows the best ones."

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"But I don't want lots of rules. Mommy says I will have less rules when I am older and smart enough to decide things on my own. Daddy is the one who makes the rules. Mommy doesn't like rules very much but she says the ones Daddy made are okay because they are for reasons and not just because. She made Daddy's rule. Daddy's rule is that Daddy has to explain why there is a rule if I ask. Mommy says there is a scary man who is like a crab* who has too many rules and if I am very very bad she will give me to him and I will be bored forever. Daddy says Mommy is joking but I checked and she was only joking about the part about giving me away because I am her A-Ying and she loves me very much but the scary crab rules man is real," he says, blithely ignorant of the fact that "scary crab rules man" and A-Zhan's uncle are one and the same. 

*"Crabby" is a more literal translation of the word that tends to get translated as "fuddy-duddy" 

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Daddies probably aren't as good at rules as Uncles, maybe this is the problem. A-Zhan's Daddy hasn't given him any rules. "Do you never get in trouble?"

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"Sometimes I do. Sometimes I see interesting stuff and run off and then Mommy and Daddy have to come find me. Sometimes something looks really interesting and I put it in my mouth. This one time a couple towns ago a kid was being mean and I bit him. I haven't gotten in trouble over a company rule since Daddy came up with them though," he adds proudly. 

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"Hm."

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"What are the Uncle rules?"

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He doesn't know all of them yet because he is too little to go to class with Brother, but he can try to remember some important ones. A-Zhan tilts his head and concentrates very hard.

Do not fight. Do not yell or cry or make noise. Do not wander at night. Do not run. Do not bully or tease others. Do not have pets, even if they are fluffy. Do not be selfish. Do not lie. Do not be dis-res-pect-ful. Do not laugh when you shouldn't laugh. Wake up at five and have bedtime at nine. Be quiet during meals. Be neat during meals. Do not be messy. Do not get your clothes dirty. Listen to Uncle. Be grateful. Sit properly. Do not argue. Do not...

He blinks. He can't remember what he's said already or not; he knows he hasn't said all the rules. "Do not cry?"

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"Sweetheart, you don't need to follow all of those rules anymore. Crying and laughing are okay, A-Zhan, they're good. You're still a good boy even if you run around or make noise."

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"Wake up at five and go to bed at nine? That's crazy. Don't have pets? Why not have pets? Pets are nice! And you can fit lots of those under the niceness rule. That is definitely too many rules."

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"That's only a little bit of the rules. You can maybe have pets outside of Cloud Recesses?" He looks uncertainly up at Mommy.

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"You can absolutely have pets, if we settle down somewhere or if they're animals that don't mind traveling. Pets are allowed."

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Wow. A-Zhan rocks back and forth with excitement at the idea of a pet, momentarily distracted from how Super Important the rules are.

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"You could get a real bunny!"

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