"What would you guess is in store for you?"

"I continue to be haunted by the Thing With A Thousand Mouths, who is apparently not a hallucination because other people can see him too. And sometimes people tell me what to do and punish me when I don't do it."

"Mmmm. I feel like I should tell you that you have the Knight of Pentacles in your hopes and fears spot, and that he represents cautiousness, stubbornness, and attempts at realism that slide over into unhelpful pessimism. Not that it's not understandable, I don't wanna dismiss him. He's doing his best with the information he has. If I'd been through a third of what you have been, I'd be pretty cynical about the chances of anything ever getting better, too. But the cards disagree with you, here."

"I guess if the cards say so..." he says skeptically. "Oswald is nice."

"That's good to hear. I'll be glad for you, if you can find some friends here. I know we sort of - dragged you into all of this, you didn't really decide to - I guess you have the chance to decide much. Lately."

"I was allowed to make decisions for a brief five-year period and even then I had to take physical education classes and military basic training."

"Man, that sucks."

"Anyway. The rest of the cards?"

"Right. Your immediate future is represented by the Five of Swords. The Five of Swords can represent self-interest, discord, dishonor, or a sacrifice of integrity. Not really sure which of those directions it's pointing in."

"Well, that's good news." Sarcasm. "Not sure I have much integrity left to sacrifice."

Half-smile. "Well, too much optimism would ring hollow, right? But I'm not going to promise that there aren't any bad things ahead. Just not very sure what they are, from here. You yourself are represented by the Seven of Cups, which can represent both having options and wishful thinking. It suggests to me a position of uncertainty, of not knowing whether hope is justified. The other in your life is represented by the King of Cups. The King of Cups is wise, calm, tolerant, and compassionate. Interestingly, it's the card I drew to represent Mordred, when I was doing a reading for him. I wonder if there’s a connection there."

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha fuck

He keeps his face neutral. "I am staying with him while we're in NYC."

"Right. It's good that you have someone looking out for you. He is looking out for you, right, are you doing okay over there?"

"Yeah. He reads to me every night. It started when I-- couldn't really read-- from the meds-- but he kept doing it."

"Aww, that's good. I'm glad that's working out. And finally, your ultimate future, your outcome, is represented by the Ace of Swords. The Ace of Swords is associated with reason, with truth, with justice, and with mental fortitude, suggesting that these things are achievable, if you stay on your current path. May seem silly now. I know you think it sounds it. But I've never known the cards to be wrong.”

"That sounds. Really good. If I could do it. I... miss being able to think."

(It is terrifying to admit a preference, even one that it is hard for Anemone to take away.)

"Yeah. I'd miss it, too. I hope you get it back, someday."

"I used to publish articles. I used to do archaeology. I used to. Well. Lots of things, really."

"Yeah. I think - things are probably not ever going to be the same, again. Way too much has happened, you know? But I think you can be you again. The parts of you that you liked being. Given enough time, and enough space. Might be a really weird and harrowing journey, getting there. But I think you still have it in you."

"That would be really nice."

Meanwhile--

Zoe has been reading books. She read a history book and found it very boring. Some time later, she read the Gaze of Azathoth one and thought that it was definitely relevant and kinda spooky. She empathized with the protagonist but in a way that made her feel a "this isn't pointless, this is actually super important, i just gotta keep going" sort of way.

Some time later, she read Azathoth and Other Horrors to learn more about Azathoth. She guesses that was maybe informative but also she can't get these verses out of her head and any time she thinks about them again they're more disturbing. So she took a break for a few days afterward before tackling her next book.

By all rights, Adrift in a Storm-Tossed Sky should be completely unenlightening, it's entirely imagery and does not tell her fuckall about the Mythos, but in light of the other books there's clearly some deeper meaning to be had. 

So Zoe is taking a walk along the waterfront to clear her head.

"Hello!"

It is Zoe's fan from the circus. He is not generally in NYC, but then it is difficult to figure out where he normally is from. He goes to the circus as often in Canada as he does in Nevada.

"Oh! Hi there. I've seen you at the circus before, yeah?"

"Yes. I am a great fan of your act."

"No kidding! I don't usually get people recognizing me outside the big top. My face is pretty hard to make out when I'm up on the ropes. You want an autograph or something?" She is trying to remember what the last show she saw this guy at was. He comes to a LOT of shows, come to think of it.