"Figured I'd keep my head down. Maybe retrain into wondrous items from weapons so it wasn't socially conspicuous that I'd been working for the army before the regime change. I'm good at - stacking enchantments so they don't have interference with each other - there's lots of money in that. Figured I'd just make small stuff until the local government situation was stable enough it was clear who to bribe - I'd have done it legally, discounts for favored customers and so on - and then I could make bigger stuff once important people were invested in having me around. Probably not get married because it - felt like it'd split my attention too much, trying to do interesting work and not attract attention and acquire insulation against someone finding me inconvenient and keep a husband happy and manage a household staff."

It's not surprising, anymore, but it still aches a little. "I am sorry you - felt the need to prepare for a future that was still so dangerous. I hope our Cheliax will be better than that for its citizens. And - making that true is a large part of what I would wish to do, with you. Parmida thought that having a Chelish wife would mean I could be much more abreast of what people were afraid of but would not say so to me directly." 

"It's - hard to be convincingly better, right. If people are all being cautious because they assume if they weren't they would die, and they don't die, they're going to be slow to decide they should be less cautious. It's a bit better than that because you hear of incautious relatives or acquaintances who came out of it all right, but, you know, maybe they knew the right person, maybe they got lucky. I wouldn't want anyone to hear about me and decide it was probably safe enough to be a spy."

"Honestly it would not usually be safe to be a spy. There are scenarios in which Aroden might in fact have had a spy killed, though he would strongly prefer not to do so if they might go to an evil afterlife, we are still figuring out our policies in such cases. And there is no scenario where he would have anyone tortured to death, neither of us thinks that particularly results in aligned incentives given what we are aiming for." Sigh. "But - it makes sense it will be slow for people to update. They are being quite rational given their information." 

Nod. "And lots of things governments do they do in secret, so it's even harder for people to believe they are no longer done."

"That makes sense." He looks at her, a little hesitantly. "Do you - like me, as a person? Separate from thinking that I have resources and power, or could give you a decent life." 

"Honestly it's - a little bit hard to evaluate you as a person at all? You are a version of Aroden from another world, and Aroden's - mostly a legend, really, even when you talk to him in person he says things like how he's going to go yell at Iomedae, and then She shows up - and you are two thousand years old and Abadar's fighting the Star-Eyed over you and it took the two of you two days to conquer the most powerful country in the world out of the grip of Hell itself. But you're - you're trying to make things better, here, and that's really important, and you're competent in a way that is impressive, and you aren't cruel even when no one would care at all, and - you look at me in a way that feels nice though I am trying to keep in mind the possibility I'm reading way too much into it. I can give myself a decent life, I wouldn't marry someone for that."

"I am glad. You do seem like - someone who could be self-sufficient and just fine on your own, I appreciate that about you. Although - it would likely mean being pulled into the kind of surreal life where sometimes gods fight over your husband." 

"I was going to keep my head down because it'd be risky not to, and there wasn't - anything on the table worth taking risks with my life for? I could run a magic shop and insulate myself from trouble and then invent some cool new stuff, teach some apprentices, or I could try to set my sights higher and - what? Be a court wizard? The life expectancy is atrocious and I wouldn't expect Aroden to need one anyway, he can do everything I can do and still have eighty percent of his spells left over. I don't want my life to be boring, I just - wasn't going to trade my life for its final moments being interesting. Until it seemed like it might actually make a difference."

"You thought that you were risking being tortured to death, when you came to spy on me, and - you did it anyway." 

"I figured Iomedae wouldn't ask if it wasn't really important. And if - if we were going to lose Cheliax again, just as soon as we'd found it - 

- and I knew he didn't like to let Asmodeus have people -"

"...I am finding myself wanting to offer you a hug but I am not sure you would actually like that." 

"I'd like a hug." She's not the one who is unsure about whether she would have any interest in being lovers.

He hugs her. It's - differently nice from hugging Khemet, but he likes the feeling of her in his arms. 

"You were so brave," he says quietly. "...You considered assassinating me. What would you have done? I am curious if I think it would have succeeded." 

Shiver. "I told Iomedae that she had better say so in plain Common if that was what I was supposed to do. And then I'd still want a lot of corroboration. And I hadn't started on anything that could be used that way. I figured that if I discovered something important and took it to Aroden of my own accord before getting caught there might be leniency and - not if I had a weapon, not if I had a plan to hurt you. 

But you can enchant ammunition with the enchantment called Slaying. Makes it do enough damage to kill even reasonably high level adventurers. There's also Greater Slaying which would probably be better to use to be safe but I would've had to reinvent it, I haven't seen it done. - it is possible to enchant ammunition with spells you aren't powerful enough to cast, because the peak channeling capacity for putting it in a weapon is lower, but you've got to be able to sustain it for a long time and it's really hard - uh, anyway, I'd have made a couple of those, tiny ones, and then cast True Strike on myself so I couldn't miss and walked up and tapped you with them. Wouldn't have worked if you have something up so it's impossible to get within half an inch of you, but that kind of shield interferes with everything, no one has it up all the time, and wouldn't have worked if you're just much much harder to kill than a normal adventurer, which I wasn't sure how I'd test, and wouldn't have worked if you have a clone or something, I wasn't sure if there was any way to research that in advance but it was on my list of vague worries about the plan."

He backs up a little so he can look into her eyes; his hands are still on her shoulders. "I think you might have been able to do it. Aroden and Khemet would have raised me right away, of course, unless you put many more layers into place to prevent that. But - not many people can say that. I do have a shield-talisman I wear at all times that can instantly switch to a mode where no physical strikes can get through it, but I need to realize I am under attack, and I believe in your ability to have caught me entirely by surprise." 

He's kind of beaming about it. 

Well that's much better than deciding actually she's a traitor after all! "I figured the only way to stop Aroden resurrecting you was with the whole church behind me, it'd have needed a bunch of spells I didn't have. I'm glad - I'm so glad that wasn't what Iomedae wanted -"

"So am I." Hug. 

Hug. She's maybe trembling a little. 

Leareth is a bit worried that he's scaring her by hugging her, but also it's - really nice... He lets go. "Do you want to go off and think again, now?" 

" - I don't think so? Should I?"

"I suspect I would, in your place, unless everything you learned here slotted into plans you had already made for different contingencies. It is possible I have a stronger need to plan for everything than most people though. And..." Leareth trails off. 

"I think my worry here is not about your decision," he admits after a moment. "I am - afraid I might make a poor husband, and make you unhappy. I suppose maybe I ought to ask people for advice on - how to be good to one's wife." 

"I - guess that makes sense. Uh - the thing you said about the pharaoh of Osirion - that you could trust him because he had absolute power, and didn't want anything bad to happen to you - I feel that way around you, and it's nice."

"Aww." 

"Also Iomedae said that you were very worried about not making me feel pressured and that was cute."