"I assume I did a lot of things wrong and I desire to serve Iomedae better and I will happily submit to the correction of the Church," she says very seriously and then keeps right on going.
"On the second of Arodus I got caught. All of the magic precautions actually worked flawlessly, but" (resentfully) "the Pharaoh of Osirion is very perceptive and even with Glibness up he told His Majesty he was suspicious of me and then His Majesty tried to mindread me, which failed, and - doesn't usually fail, right, he's an archmage - and then He had me arrested, and very gently questioned, and - no one had explained anything to me, though they were astoundingly civil in their lack of explanation - I assume Lastwall being a functional state with a real government would've in fact taken me to pieces but Aroden's not scared of anything, He's Aroden, and He was beginning to suspect the reason I was there -
- and then Iomedae showed up - well, I'm sure all She did was make it look like She was there, but - it looked like She was there, and it was impossible to be afraid. Aroden had just been saying that He was going to go to Heaven to yell at Her, and She said this was, actually, cheaper.
I don't know anything about the faith of Iomedae but I know you're not supposed to screw up your gods' instructions so badly they have to show up and offer additional ones. I - I told Her She shouldn't, that I shouldn't be indulged in weakness like that, and She said She was there for Leareth.
Who had, at the start of Erastus, asked Iomedae to use Her abilities to see the hearts and minds and priorities of everyone in Cheliax to find him a wife. A Chelish wife, because no one else understands what you're even trying to undo. And She looked at all of the possibilities, I suppose, and sent me a vision, and Aroden and Leareth had guessed by then that that's why I was there but were hesitant to tell me, lest I - take it as not a choice - and I said I wasn't worried about that because he wasn't stupid -
- there's no point in taking a wife who doesn't want to be there, right. Obviously he could've fucked me if he wanted, and that was among the strategies I was considering to get more intelligence on him, but the only reason to marry a woman who hates you is for a strategic alliance with her family, and mine aren't nobles! If you ask a god to find the best woman to marry you you're obviously not looking for the most entertaining thing to chain to your bed. ...also Leareth and I are both barely up to Neutral but Iomedae's Lawful Good, right? I'm not going to be precious about whether his girls want to be there but I don't really expect Iomedae will help out when that's what he's in the mood for. She was a paladin when she was human! Paladins hate sex!
- anyway. I asked Her why the roundabout method and She said that if She'd asked I'd have considered it and decided to obey her, and that this was better, we'd like each other better for it and be happier. And I asked if Leareth was up to anything I had been supposed to discover and She said "He has a long and complicated history and he is as worthy of you as anyone can be, and you'll be safer with him than anywhere else, and it will be good for the world, and maybe for the whole universe."
And I said "Is being your cleric always like this."
And She said, "I don't think it would be good for your ability to run a country if there were this much drama all the time.
But if it was going to be good for your ability to run a country, then, yes, it would be."
And I said that I - hadn't even succeeded - and She said that She'd have sent help, if She needed me to overthrow the government of Cheliax, and that the thing She'd wanted, I'd attained. Which was, presumably, Leareth being impressed and intrigued, which he was. But it didn't seem responsible to agree to marry him on the spot so I asked for a month to learn about Iomedae, and was granted that, and then I came here. - I'm almost definitely going to marry him but I thought I'd seem awfully naive if I agreed without even knowing what Iomedae is about."