"It is possible to fail someone by obeying them in a mistake you could have corrected them in. But I'm not clear on how much you could've corrected Her in it."

Moondance, who has just calmed down a little, starts sobbing uncontrollably again. 

"Moondance, ashke, can you stop that?" Starwind sounds worried and also frustrated. "This is not - you are not..." He doesn't seem to know how to finish the sentence. 

"Starwind–" Savil grimaces, also apparently lost for words, and eventually just goes to sit next to him and put her arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry. I - know it's hard that he's so upset and you're getting backwash from it, just - I think he needs to grieve?" 

"You're not a monster," Vanyel says, finishing Starwind's sentence for him. He strokes Moondance's hair. "You were trying really hard to do the right thing, and you messed up, and it had a lot of consequences, but - that doesn't make you irredeemable, and it doesn't mean you don't deserve to exist and have good things..." 

"Starwind," Vanyel says, a bit wearily. "I still don't feel like we've clarified whether you - think what you did was wrong. And we kind of have to know that, to - know whether you're still a threat, I'm sorry, just..." 

"We ought not have done it in the pharaoh's palace. ...If Her orders had been to try, if the cost was acceptable, and not - to accomplish it at any cost - then we would have done it at the Worldwound. That would have been less costly to your allies." 

:We should not have done it once we knew more: Moondance sends, his mindvoice devoid of all expression. :She was WRONG - why can you not see that...: 

"Do it whatever the cost is - the kind of order that should never be given, I think. It's - much more reasonable for people to disagree on what cost would have been acceptable than on the fact that there exists some cost that would not have been."

Starwind is silent for a very long time, making various faces. 

"- Leareth has some good qualities," he admits finally. Very grudgingly. "And - has done some good in the world, as well as evil." 

Vanyel gives him an encouraging nod and a slightly forced reassuring smile. 

"It - it feels difficult to blame Her for wishing him dead, but - She did not have all the information. It is possible She - would have reassessed - if he swore never to return to Velgarth." His lips twist slightly. "He might have refused to swear that, since he wishes to fight all of the gods with whom he disagrees." 

Nod. 

"She...did not have all of the relevant information." Starwind's eyes are downcast. His face clenches. "And - we failed Her, I failed Her - by not realizing this and - doing something to reassess, seeking further orders..." 

He hugs himself. "I was so certain." 

"I'm sorry. I - know it must be really hard, to lose that, and...have to live with what happened..." 

That seems like progress and this sucks so much. And it's going to be worse when Osirion and Aroden do what they're planning to do. 

He has no idea what the takeaway here is except that he's wondering if he could get classes in the curriculum in Sothis on when you should disobey what you understand to be your god's will.

"For what it is worth," Starwind says eventually - slowly, and with great effort, clearly the words are costing him something, "I - will not again try to harm him. He clearly has too many friends for it to succeed." 

That's something. "Thank you," Vanyel says. 

Hug. 

"I'm going to stay here if you two need to talk about anything today," Melody says quietly. "It makes a lot of sense to be hurting. And - that the two of you are coming from different places on this, because you're different people, and it makes sense for that to be hard too. But I'm here to help however I can." 

"I'll stay as long as you want me here." 

:Fazil, I don't know if this is conclusive enough to warrant updating the pharaoh...?: 

:Yeah, I'll go talk to our people.: