Leareth is lying in a stone room, and nothing in particular is happening right now, and he is mostly succeeding at not having any thoughts. It's a fine moment. He is not, literally this second, being tortured. This is not useful at all for predicting what the next moment is going to be like, of course, or for whether 'quiet stone room' has any particular resemblance to reality, but Leareth has gotten pretty good at not being curious.
I think so.
He hadn't realized how much one of the things he missed was Quendi singing. It's slightly nervewracking too, for unclear reasons - probably because it featured in the rescue hallucinations, actually. But he missed it.
Also he's so tired, and trying to look at the visitor's face or put his thoughts into words is making his head hurt. He turns away and burrows under his blanket again, it's not very socially graceful but it's hard to care. You can keep singing if you want.
It doesn't seem like there's a huge rush, so local Leareth hovers by the door as well for a while.
:I need to go work on some things: he says after fifteen minutes or so, apologetic. :I am not sure if you had other plans for after, you do not need to stay. He seems to appreciate your singing, though:
Wow, the part about Quendi being more patient and thinking on longer timescales than humans is really not exaggerated! :He will go to sleep before that, you need not stay that long. I appreciate your willingness, though:
Sure, he can borrow the earcuff and get instructions on how to use it to get people he knows and their alts.
Then he will do that, very diligently, keeping the conversations somewhat impersonal because Prince Nelyafinwë mentioned that he should assume people would be reading even his private thoughts, here, but still getting enough to distinctly suggest that this is another Arda from earlier in its history.
When Ninquë is ready Bella can teleport him to some forest he picked out with alt-Vanyel's help and drop him off there and magic him up a bungalow unless he'd prefer to build his own house.
She resumes work on the spell with the information that she may have just bounced off Valinor and the magic needs to fail more gracefully when confused. And she sees Angband Leareth every day till -
- the last grain of rice is in place.
Angband Leareth's attention span has been gradually improving - probably related to having the core of his motivation system replaced - and it's started to feel very routine and almost not stressful at all. He's moved on to reading books on more interesting topics, given that his alt is no longer worried about it seeming hostile to give him activities which could plausibly help Melkor if he were somehow still in Angband.
(Even leaving aside everything else, if Melkor could have done what Bella's been doing, he would have done it right away and gotten his source of Velgarth magic back, which is another piece of conclusive evidence that Leareth doesn't exactly need at this point but still adds to a mental tally.)
He sets down his book (it's one about legal systems that that he wrote himself, millennia ago, back in the early history of the Eastern Empire.)
...He feels mostly like himself again, but also sort of - unmoored, somehow, like the centre of him doesn't quite fit with the rest anymore. Which makes sense. He's had a lot of life experiences since the person he was two decades ago.
"Thank you," he says, emphatically. "Should I try to do anything in particular, now?"
"I don't know what you normally do with your core memories! Whatever that is, I guess? To make sure they all feel right?"
What does he normally do with his core memories? He doesn't think he spent most of his time looking at them.
"They feel the same as before, I think? I would not necessarily interact with them every day, before - I would..." It feels frustratingly hard to explain. "It is where most of my strong emotions live. But I would not have drawn on those in the day to day, just - for very significant decisions. And I think that much of my motivation comes from here. That part, I am not sure is entirely fixed yet? And...the core feels the same as it did before, but - somehow it is not quite right with the rest of me, it is difficult to describe how."
"You were without it for a long enough time that you might have gotten used to not routing things through there, insofar as there were thoughts you weren't able to avoid thinking in the first place," she says.
"That makes sense. Probably I need to - try to do more things? I am very out of practice at doing things. And having complex thoughts, but that seems to be coming back more easily."
Leareth considers it for a while.
"Not really? I am unsure how to tell if I want to do something. I think it would be a good idea to review more of my personal records, but it sounds hard." Most of what he's done lately is read books, not very attentively, because at least it's better than being bored.
"Maybe your alt could go over them with you and that could make it easier? Insofar as there are copies here, which won't cover the last few years."