fabbell and crystalcrab lucy in the 'verse
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"The existence of a feedback form?"

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"--Well, using the feedback form would be the next step, and I can't do the feedback form until I've done something magic on camera. Possibly I should...have more steps planned first. Since things aren't going to go out of control at every possible point probably. Because this isn't London."

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"If you go turn into a giant crab on camera they might, actually."

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"Oh. Okay." She takes a deep breath. "It's difficult, being this far out of the context I'm used to."

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"I think what's throwing us isn't your lack of planned steps but your lack of contingency plans."

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"Oh. Contingency plans like if they don't take the form seriously enough to check the cameras?"

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"If someone's watching the cameras, and comes to where you are being a giant crab right away and not after you send a letter."

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"I turn back, pull my dress back on and run away."

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"How fast are you?"

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"Fast. Not faster than that floater, not in human shape, not with just my legs, but fast."

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"So, what I imagine happening if you try to run away from some military presence who saw you doing stuff on camera is they corner you by knowing the layout and blocking your exits, and also they have vehicles at least as fast as the floater, and also they have guns. I don't know how hostile they'd be but it wouldn't have to be very for there to be a misunderstanding followed by you and they having a violent confrontation."

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"I'd probably win but that doesn't make it a good outcome, you're right. What would you suggest if I get caught?" 

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"I'm not sure you should do anything even sort of like this approach. What about it appeals?"

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"Oh. It seems really hard to fake. And I don't know where any corpses are to bring them back."

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She searches "graveyard".

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"Also, like, people...don't always react well...when they catch you digging up graves, like, not that I'm not onboard with this plan but I don't think it looks better than inexplicable giant crab."

The nearest graveyard is a way outside the main urban center, in the comparatively narrow ring of suburban sprawl.

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"If we can unobtrusively get you a dead body we can maybe render that dead body a live person with incentives for us to be well-received and the ability to be a native guide. I don't know if we can in fact do that unobtrusively but if we can it has affordances to go better."

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"Oh, that could work. Can you find out who's died and could help?"

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"Let's see." Obituaries?

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Obituaries exist, and can be sorted by name and date of death but not usefulness to inexplicable interdimensional Earthlings. 

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She wants something recent and ideally not of old age with a listed occupation that sounds at all like they'd know what they were doing.

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There are some industrial accidents, some non-industrial accidents, a few cases of illness, a smattering of murder victims. Factory workers, retail workers, a nurse, a factory manager, a soldier...

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Nobody in politics in any capacity? Academics? Spaceship captains?

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This politician died of old age, this other one is in the hospital and not necessarily going to make it but not dead yet. This university professor died of old age recently; this other one did die in some kind of lab accident! There are a couple of dead spaceship captains but neither of them really left enough to bury.

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Hmmmm. She looks up the political records of both politicians and the specialties of the academics.

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