"...I wonder if I've just, uh, done the same thing to a bunch of other people. Probably not, they weren't really - listening right? Which makes me more pessimistic about trying to talk to them about anything but is probably convenient for their Companionships."

"That seems right. Talking to Savil was like that, she was trying to listen but it just wasn't quite landing, it–" He swallows, blinks. "It's very lonely." 

"I'm sorry."

"I'm scared that there just isn't going to be a way of resolving this? If none of the Heralds can think about it except me - and I basically can't because I'm too much of a disaster when Yfandes is refusing to speak to me..." 

"And the entire government is based very explicitly on only Heralds having access to all the high-responsibility positions specifically because of this handicap - yeah, it's messy. The, the King's Own in training is new, right? I hesitate to suggest this because the Groveborn's likely to be worse if anything but if his Chosen is not yet too - dependent -"

"Huh!" Some animation comes into Vanyel's face for the first time. "I hadn't thought of that. She's fourteen, which is why we didn't involve her, but - I met her to assess her Gifts and I like her, she seems very levelheaded. I'm a bit worried that the idea coming from either of us will make people think it's a bad one, but maybe we can discreetly tell, hmm, Shavri? And she could pass it on to Randi if she thinks it's a good idea." 

"Maybe I'll mention it. It's really hard to operate under the 'anything coming from me is suspect' constraint, though... I was hoping I'd get less of that because I'm verifiably not two thousand years old."

"You would really hope! Is Shavri less like that, at least? I was getting the feeling that she might be, er, thinking a bit more clearly about this. Though I think everyone being upset is getting to her a lot, so maybe not." 

"She seems, uh, tired. She kept fidgeting with the sword and my dad - oh, uh, this is my dad, Chalan -"

"Herald," says Chalan, inclining his head.

"He asked her about it and apparently it's this ancient mind-controlling sword Leareth's met a couple times and I was not super thrilled about that being nearby even though I'm apparently personally not subject to getting stabbed by it because I'm female. And she put it away and looked even tireder afterwards but for someone who is that tired she does seem to be thinking pretty clearly."

"Oh, right, Need. We found her in k'Treva. She's magical, I wonder if Shavri was getting some extra energy that way? It definitely seems like she can give you energy in a fight. Shavri doesn't normally wear her around though, because of, er, the part where it's inconvenient to have a sword suddenly mind-control you when you're in an important meeting." 

"'Inconvenient'. Sure."

"You would use much stronger words than that!" Sigh. "I'm worried about Shavri. She's taking on so much and it's not really fair to her. Not that I'm in a position to do anything about it." 

"She had time to read several of my papers? But yeah, I doubt she's sleeping enough and I don't know how to - not make that worse, let alone improve it."

"I'm guessing the way she found time to read your papers was by doing it instead of sleeping. Which - I get it, she hardly ever has relevant Kingdom work that involves getting to read original Healing research, she must've been delighted about it." He rubs his eyes. "Part of the problem is that our King is dying of a mysterious illness and he needs her constantly." 

"Oh, eesh, and they're lifebonded -"

"It's...not a great situation." 

"You're telling me. Ugh."

"I'm really sorry you're getting dragged into the complete nightmare of the Senior Circle's internal politics, on top of everything else that's just happened!" Thoughtful look. "It must seem really surreal to you. I'm used to it at this point, we've been limping along in a bad situation for years, but you're coming at it from the outside." 

"It's... not pretty, but I haven't exactly examined any other national governments up close? Maybe the Sword of Rethwellan is constantly going 'ugh I guess I'll settle for you, you seem like you probably won't literally have a psychotic break' every time it's handed off."

“...Gods that’s an unsettling thought. I don’t think things were this much of a mess in Elspeth’s time, though? I should ask Savil sometime. But I really hope somewhere in the world there are people in charge who don’t feel like they’re playing pretend at being grownups. I guess maybe Leareth doesn’t feel that way- If you tell me Leareth is secretly a disaster behind closed doors...”

"No, no, he isn't. Everything seems very well-run up there modulo my complaints with how exactly he gets it that way."

Vanyel chuckles bitterly. "You know the situation is bad when I'm relieved that the mage I've spent half my life expecting to die fighting is actually competent. Anyway. Is there anything else that'd be useful for us to talk about?" 

"Probably insensitive to ask if you have any coping tips that generalize but I slept so badly last night and if that doesn't go away I'm not going to be thinking any more clearly than anyone else in this mess."