"But Yfandes didn't make you tell him either, or tell all the other Companions herself?"

"No. I mean, my aunt knew because she was there, I talked it out with her, but - I guess Yfandes didn't want to deal with the fallout of telling the Groveborn either, even though she admits now that it probably would've been wiser."

He shakes his head. "I guess the thing is that Companions aren't morally perfect, they don't always know the right answer and when they do they can't always bring themselves to do it, if it's scary. But - Valdemar is sort of built on this assumption that they are perfect, and so...everyone's really confused and upset when something like this happens." 

"Wow. Okay."

"...I think the point everyone's coming to agree on now is that there shouldn't have been such a hard line against it in the first place, because - well, Yfandes doesn't think it was monstrous, neither does Rolan. Or, no, that's not it exactly - they agree it was pretty monstrous but so is fireballing a thousand Karsite soldiers from fifty miles away and nobody blinked an eye when I did that during the war, and this...wasn't less justified. And no one's ever thought that having a Companion means Heralds can't kill enemy soldiers." 

Shrug. "No one's talking about making it legal. I don't think anyone, including me, wants Valdemar to become like Karse was during the war, even though – gods, I can understand why they did it? They were desperate because they were up against me, and in the battle of Sunhame they sent out a bunch of recently drafted priests and priestesses - kids, really - with mage-gift and probably a day worth of training in throwing blood-magic around. Wasn't enough to hold us off but I get why they tried and I don't see what other options they had at that point. Anyway. That's kind of a ramble. I don't know." 

"Sounds bad all around, I'm sorry that happened to you."

"Er, thank you, I guess?" 

"I am still confused what you think the Court did wrong," Leareth says. "It sounds as though they realized some previous thinking had been unreasonable, and shifted it." 

Helpless shrug. "I'm worried they - did it for the wrong reasons? It'd be one thing if I thought people actually understood why I made the choice I made, how I was thinking about it. But I'm kind of worried they just...thought they had to come to a verdict that let them keep me around as a Herald. For political reasons, because I'm a war hero and they need me. I don't want it to have been decided that way because they - think I'm special and different." 

"So if some other Herald had done this what would they have done instead - kidnapped their Companion and exiled the Herald to the Pelagirs or something? I don't think there's actually a system for de-Whitesing a Herald whose Companion is right there endorsing them."

"I mean, no, that has literally never come up before." 

"So they could have just had their hands tied by having no system to deal with this whatsoever, and I guess they could have pulled out more creativity if you weren't the sort of person who could pretty much singlehandedly win them a war, but actually there is not some clear protocol of justice you have evaded for corrupt reasons, it's just a mess?"

"The entire thing is definitely a giant mess. I - think they sort of ended up deciding I did it partly because I...wasn't emotionally stable at the time and therefore it's less my fault? And, I mean, it's not false that I was kind of a mess, just, actually, deciding to do blood-magic had nothing to do with that. So I'm kind of unreasonably mad about that part." 

"Seems like being not only exonerated but also seen and understood is a pretty high standard to have for your governing authorities but I suppose all the Heralds are friends and that'd muddy it."

Sigh. "I said I know I'm being unreasonable about that part. I'm mostly angry that they interrogated me under Truth Spell about that. It felt very unfair. Which I know is also unreasonable. It's just been kind of a terrible week." 

"Yeah, it sounds bad. I assume you have people who are not total strangers inexplicably sharing your dreams to hug you but maybe they're all Heralds and it's awkward? Do you want a hug?"

"Huh?" Vanyel blinks at her for a moment and then turns to look at Leareth. 

Leareth raises his eyebrows a little. "She does not bite." 

"Then, um, sure, I will take a hug from the flying dream stranger." 

"How would you know if I bite," she says to Leareth, but she hugs Vanyel and doesn't bite him at all.

It's a very good hug! Vanyel is still extremely confused but now he can be confused and getting hugged at the same time, which is an improvement. 

"I at least feel it would be bafflingly out of character for you to bite Vanyel unprovoked right now," Leareth says, sounding amused. "You do things for reasons and I cannot thing of a sensible reason for that action." 

"Yes, yes," she says fondly.

When he's done being hugged, Vanyel looks back and forth between the two of them. He is so very, very bemused about it, but... "Are you two, er, together?"

Leareth's expression immediately goes very blank. It's not that he definitely doesn't want to tell Vanyel or doesn't trust him with it, it's just - he completely failed to think about it in advance or prepare any kind of script, because he was busy...being distracted...

Well if he's not going to give her any cues here she's going to go "uh" kind of stupidly!