Maitimo.

Yeah?

I think you should quit while you're ahead and stop talking. 

Vanyel needs an hour or so to sit down after the Gate, but he can still talk and sing to Leareth during that time, and then they can go walk around outside, stopping to sit down anytime Leareth seems tired, getting food. They talk about mostly inconsequential things. Honestly Vanyel is used to that, after years of dream conversations trying to stay on neutral topics. It's for a different reason this time but still. 

"I tried to explain it to him but it didn't work at all and I - don't want to try further. Unless you think that's horrible. I don't - want to scare him and a lot of things scare him right now."

"Mmhmm. You want to tell him you're attracted to him so he'll - what, stop feeling comfortable with you touching his hair?"

"I guess so? If he would feel that way with more information - but I'm not even sure he would, he might just be confused -"

"Then I feel like it's entirely reasonable to just not bring it up and revisit in a couple of decades."

"Really?"

"- can you not tell -"

"You're not joking but you disagree with the version of you in my head, you don't do that much!"

"Well, maybe if you stayed in touch, the version of me in your head would -"

"I said I'm sorry!"

"You did! The number of times that a Fëanorian ever apologized for anything doubled overnight."

"Findekáno -"

" - look. He is scared and confused and leaning on you to figure out who he is and you would like the person who he is to sleep with you. That's genuinely kind of difficult! But I don't think you can accidentally hurt him, with it. Do you think you're going to give him bad advice without noticing, too self-interested to guess what's good for him -"

"No!"

"And do you think you're going to - hurt him on purpose, figure out the best thing for him to do and then decide to tell him something else -"

"No!"

"Then it seems like you will just have a lot of work to do, sorting out what he needs, and you will have some extra feelings about this, which are not negatively affecting him, and you don't actually need to run around in circles figuring out how to make him aware of this when it's likely to scare him and when your preferences for how he act on it are "don't worry about it"."

" - okay. If you're sure."

"I think there is some chance it blows up in your face in some fashion, honestly, but it's one of those rare situations where there's actually a very good reason to have a conversation in a couple of decades instead of now."

"Mmhmm. - thanks."

"Sure. 

- why's he hot?"

"Well, see, normally he's very reserved? Not in the sense of not talking but in the sense of not investing, holding back most of him - you know how my father is, where absolutely everything is a personal verdict on him? The exact opposite of that. When he wants things it's surprising, mostly he needs various inputs to get various outputs and doesn't bother paying closer attention than that. I thought when I met him that he seemed very lonely and I think he is actually lonelier than that. I think on some level he stops noticing that things would be nice, if he doesn't have a way to get them without distracting from the rest of his priorities. Probably if he'd gotten a month's rest at any point before Angband he could have gone through and noticed which things he was deprioritizing weren't unachievable any longer and then gone and gotten them? But I don't know if he would have, either, what would that have done except made him happy...if you're trying to make the most beautiful glass it won't hold water, right, because if you're trying to make something perfect along one dimension it'll end up having the most startling traits along all the other ones..."

Findekáno runs a hand through his hair. He shivers, twitches, reaches out to grab his boyfriend's arm in self-defense. If they have a wrestling match he will lose but he can buy a few minutes to finish the thought, except now he's forgotten it. "Do you want me to explain this or not?"