"Thank you, Mr. Thorburn, was that so hard? - For now, but only for now. Lawyer up. If the budget permits, of course." He hangs up. He starts dialing a new number.

Jaeha's knees are kind of weak right now.

—right, the food. He will continue preparing the food.

"Good evening, have I reached - yes, precisely the man I was hoping to speak to. It's about your innovations with the FLDST. Now, of course, I must assume a lot of it was the committee's work and not yours, with whom do you share the credit? - really, how about that. And it can be entirely graded by Scantron, is that right?"

He is about to witness another murder and he did not know he was into this but it is perhaps obvious in hindsight.

"An amazing savings in grader time and interrater reliability even though it's, I heard twice as long, is that - amazing. So of course with twice as many questions on the test you wanted to adjust the pass threshold, yes? - oh, that wasn't you, who was that?... thank you! Now, I do wonder if you're acquainted with the design philosophy of the original FLDST? ...Right, three on each and - yes. A bit beyond Scantron. I believe, though of course correct me if you've heard otherwise, that the idea was that you needed a ninety-nine percent in section A so that it would be mathematically impossible to pass the test while - exactly! Mathematically impossible to slip by with more than one lapse into what we in the business call errors that might kill fourteen people in my dungeon today. Or maybe it's just me who calls them that."

The gods themselves have placed this man in his path to torment him, that's the only explanation.

FOOD. HE WILL KEEP MAKING FOOD. HE CAN DO THIS. HE MAY BE FULL MAST SO HOPEFULLY HARU WON'T LOOK THIS WAY BUT HE CAN DO IT.

"No, I'm afraid you guessed incorrectly. ...yes, fourteen, that's thirteen victims and an esper. I and all the graduates of your, shall we call it an educational system, were close enough to the portal to be fine, though, of course, if someone missed a couple of Scantron questions about the signs of a dungeon about to collapse, then perhaps - really! You think that's not your - well whose job is it, then, please tell me, and I want their phone number. That's what I thought. Right, you don't have any pull with the teachers, do you. Their system was working fine until you innovated. But I nearly killed myself saving those fourteen people today and I'm not feeling very pro-innovation. If you still work anywhere near my industry this time next week, we're going to have a problem. This call has been recorded. You have a nice evening now." Click.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy sh-

Haru smiles at Jaeha. "That smells really good, that's gonna hit the spot."

Is the food at a good stopping point. Yes. Is he about to be incredibly pathetic and cringe. Yes. 

Failing with abandon.

"So, uh, I know you said you were sceptical, but I don't suppose you would want to reconsider in light of I really want to suck your cock right now, s-sir?"

...

Haru goes pink and unbuttons his pants.

Oh good that was a much better reaction than he'd expected! Off goes the apron and now it is not that embarrassing that he's full mast because clearly Haru is appreciating all of this so Jaeha can get to his knees and get this incredibly attractive man seeing stars for the second time today.

...it may or may not become obvious that Haru has not before this day had a better than halfway competent blowjob.

...okay that's kind of offensive?? How did he get to his thirties while never experiencing a good blowjob. What the fuck. The way he's acting surprised by this, Jaeha is going to put some extra effort into making this be the best blowjob Haru's ever had by a very, very, very wide margin.

"Fuck, aahnng fuck I'm gonna - Jaeha -"

If he were smart he would've taken his bracelet off, actually, since, you know, fluid exchange, etc. But he isn't smart, what he is is horny, and getting Haru to come in his mouth is definitely another badge of honour to wear with pride, this one even legit.

He can be thus honored.

See, there are some things he is good at. There are. They aren't very numerous but they do exist.

And then Haru needs to catch his breath. And then: "- so what brought that on - that was amazing, damn -"

Oh he is going to be so smug about this forever. He finishes licking Haru clean then looks up, without getting up from where he's kneeling, looking like the cat that got the canary. "You sounded so hot on the phone just then," he explains and, well, he's on his knees and not getting up, it's fine if he sounds like a simp. "So hot. I did not realise I had a kink for competent bureaucratic murders but apparently I do, I was having trouble holding myself back back there."

"...bureaucratic murders? I haven't even sued anyone yet!"

"Emphasis on 'yet'. It was just really, really attractive." Oh this is going to be delicious. "Sir."

Giggle. "I had been, like, considering apologizing for making phone calls here when I'm not even backlashed, but apparently that isn't necessary."

"It would probably not be a good idea to blow you while you're being scary and hot and professional like that but the temptation will be there."

"It would not be very professional."