"I'm just mad at myself for being late. And stuff."

"Hey, ke'chara, you don't need to be mad at yourself." She hugs him. "It's fine. We got everything done and you might've made some neat discoveries." 

"Thanks. I hope so." Probably the research isn't completely useless because Sandra seems to approve and nobody has told her to stop doing it, but it's not as important as his actual work that he's supposed to be doing and separately from the calming loop issue he needs to manage his time better.

:Abras, love, I'm a little worried by how much you're ruminating on this. I guess we should talk about your policy for using the calming loop, though, you'd wanted to do that: 

:Yeah, sorry, I'm not going to feel like I can drop it until I know how to avoid doing it again. Mind if I come sit with you while we talk about it?:

:Of course, please do: She sends a wash of reassurance. 

Then he can meet Yfandes in Companions' Field and stroke her mane and try to explain himself.

:To get any use out of the calming loop I need to be able to use it when I'm too sad to do anything, which means I need to be able to use it on reflex, but I need to not reflexively use it to get rid of normal emotions. And I'm not sure how to square that circle.:

:I feel like perhaps your level of feeling bad about the lateness was, er, a bit on the excess side. And was also getting you stuck and making it hard to go remedy the situation: 

:I agree that I should not feel bad about things in ways that cause me to get stuck. I just don't think Mindhealing is the right way to fix that.:

:What do you want to do instead?: 

:Learn how to have better emotions, but if I knew how to do that I would have already started.:

Yfandes nuzzles him. :Love, I really don't think that's a productive way to approach it. You're - being very unkind to yourself: 

:How do you think I should be approaching it?: It feels like that answer ought to be obvious, but he isn't seeing it.

:I don't know either. Just, I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself: She blows softly at his hair. :Think it'd help to talk to Lancir again? Figure out some strategy you'll feel more comfortable about than the calming loop?: 

He doesn't want to talk to Lancir again, but he doesn't have any better ideas, so realistically the alternative is continuing to screw up. :Yeah, that's probably the smart move. He designed it; he'll probably know something.:

Hesitation. :Chosen, I think maybe Lancir is approaching this whole thing differently from you, and - it'd help if you communicated clearly with him what you want? And then if you disagree you can actually talk about it. I'm getting the sense that you're not really on board with using the calming loop for what Lancir gave it to you for, and...you should try to be on the same page as him, right?: 

:Oh, yeah, good point. If I'm using it in a way that's not what it was designed for, or doing something he doesn't expect in general, that would cause problems.:

:Exactly. So communication is important: Snuggle. :Want me to talk to Taver and arrange a time you can see him?: 

Snuggle. :That would be good.: It is at least definitely better than trying to schedule a time with him directly.

:It can probably wait until tomorrow morning. Seems better to do it when you're fresh, not exhausted at the end of the day: 

:Yes. I'll do my best to get enough sleep tonight.:

:Good: She nuzzles him. :You'd better go get some supper soon, but you can stay awhile and cuddle if you want, or we could go for a ride. I like getting to see you: 

:I think I'd like a ride; I was in one room for a lot of today.: 

Abras' and Yfandes' combined efforts prove sufficient to wear him out a bit and keep him distracted for a while, and he's his normal amount of functional when his appointment with Lancir rolls around the next morning.

"Abras. It's good to see you." Lancir nods to him and grips his arm for a moment, warmly. "Have a seat. Yfandes didn't give Taver any details on why you wanted to see me, so - tell me what's going on?" 

"I think I'm using the calming loop wrong. I was getting in the habit of using it when I needed to be working but I was too sad about--you know--to get anything done, but I got too much in the habit and yesterday I used it to stop being upset about an actual mistake I made. And I'm worried if I don't change something I'm just going to avoid having emotions instead of learning to have them properly. Did any of that make any sense."