"Uh, swap off from yesterday, I'll do north?"

"Sounds good!" And they can get started. 

Relay relay relay. It gets repetitive enough towards the end that his mind starts trying to wander toward the hole in itself. He notices that he's upset and that it's slowing him down, reminds himself that he needs to be less upset, and triggers the calming loop. That lets him keep going, though still somewhat slowly because now his mind is wandering to his calming memory and also to how weird it is that one memory can be made so much louder than the others, and how messed up it is that what he's feeling depends on so many things that have no relation to the world around him. Tantras is definitely going to finish his half first.

He does, but doesn't say anything about it, just scoots his chair back and puts his feet up on the table and sips his tea while he waits. 

Ah, crap, Tantras probably has somewhere to be and Abras is holding him up. He gets the last couple batches done and recorded.

"Done?" Tantras smiles at Abras. "I'd ask if you want to spar but that was kind of a disaster, so – want to get brunch or something? When's your next thing after this?" 

"My next thing is redoing the shielding on some work rooms and they won't be available for another hour or so, so yeah, brunch sounds like a harmless way to stay awake until then." Of course, he thought that about sparring too, but maybe this time he'll get lucky and not step on a metaphorical bear trap he left in his own head.

"Are you that tired?" Tran reaches out and gives Abras' shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Let's go grab some food and then sit out in the sun, huh? I find that helps when I'm sleepy. And it's supposed to be a good way of convincing your body when daytime and nighttime are. Trying to get back on a normal schedule after being up all night is the worst." 

"Yeah, that sounds good." Food should help; he knows that when he needs one of food or sleep, getting the other is at least a partial substitute.

Tran leads the way to the dining hall at a brisk walk; breakfast is still out, though several of the dishes are almost gone. He loads up a plate and takes one of the woven-reed covers for bringing it outside, then waits for Abras. 

Abras grabs food without particularly paying attention to what it is and follows.

"So what's the thing you've found weirdest about being a Herald so far?" Tran asks, when they're sitting out on a bench in the sun. "I remember my first week after I got my Whites, it was surreal. I didn't feel like I could possibly be a real grownup yet." 

"Oh, yeah, same for me. I think the weirdest part is . . . people just trusting me to do stuff? I'll get asked to do some piece of work and nobody's watching and evaluating to see if I'm doing it right, because it's not a test, they just want the thing done and they assume I'll do it."

"Right? It's bizarre. You get used to it though, eventually. For me the weirdest part was the looks people started giving me once I was wearing Whites. Like I was this important person or something." 

Nod nod. "I just try not to think about whether anyone is looking at me." It's a good thing most people don't know the whole story, or he'd be getting much worse looks.

"That's the best way to go, I think." Tantras takes a bite of toast and chews in silence for a moment. "...You are helping," he says after a bit. He reaches out to squeeze Abras' shoulder. "I know you don't feel ready, but I don't think any of us do at the start. From my side at least, though, it's really good to have you around." 

"Thanks. Even if I can't do everything I want to it's good that I can do something. And I can tell you're doing great."

"Aww, thank you." 

They can finish the rest of their brunch-picnic, and by then the Work Rooms will be available for shield-repair. 

He needs to use the calming loop when it occurs to him that he could have learned to do concert-work with Tylendel if he wasn't DEAD, but he gets the shields redone. Then he spends some time in the library reading about magic theory and trying to find anything that would shed light on the exploding weather-barrier.

Unfortunately no one has studied this at all; weather-barriers are a Tayledras spell, Savil is the only other Valdemaran mage who knows the technique. There are books on standard fire spells but they don't mention any similar phenomenon.

Savil Mindtouches him midway through the afternoon. :Care to join me for supper, ke'chara?: 

:Sure.: 

He reads a bit more, starts thinking too much about another event involving massive quantities of magical fire, and gives that line of research up in favor of sitting in a reading nook with his knees pulled up to his chest. He's already needed to use the calming loop twice today, he's not going to use it again when he doesn't need it to get his work done, he needs to learn to calm himself down without relying on a magical crutch. That burns all the time before dinner but he shows up at Savil's rooms with dry eyes and a reasonable facsimile of a friendly expression.

Savil is not particularly fooled (which probably means she's getting help from Kellan, on her own she is not good at reading subtle facial expressions). "Abras, hey, are you all right?" 

(If Abras realized she was getting help from Kellan he would be very embarrassed about being discussed behind his back, but who can and can't read facial expressions is as beyond him as facial expressions are.)

Oh crap, this is one of those "polite lie or annoying truth" situations again. "I'm not--less fine than usual?"

That gets him a worried look and then a hug. 

"...Anyway, have a seat. Wine? And, there's something I should tell you."