"Agreed."

Garrus is the one to actually open the door. It swings open without a hitch, or for that matter a lock.

The room is in a flattened horseshoe shape, with thrones along the walls each containing a skeleton, or in one case a withered corpse, all in variously ostentatious regalia and bearing ceremonial weapons.

There doesn't appear to be anyone with a pulse on this side of the room; the voice comes from the other side of the horseshoe.

"People can lie about being prisoners," she says. "If it's ever convenient for them to assign you a moral duty. Enserric? Where are you?"

"Over here," he calls. "I'll explain when you see."

Garrus, an arrow nocked, leads the way.

There's no one over here either, but the voice comes again, seemingly originating from one of the skeletons, who's carrying an ebon-bladed longsword with a strange red glow to it. "Hello. No, I'm not the skeleton, I'm - well, I'm in the sword he's carrying. Enserric the Grey, at your service."

"So, if you're trying to hitch a ride, I hear they maybe do stuff if we take their stuff. Not that I don't go in for liberating personal property as it were, but I'd like to have that confirmed or denied."

"Well, yes, there is that. The catch, as it were, is that these Sleeping Kings do not take kindly to having their belongings removed. I was myself once an adventurer much like you, exploring the infamous Undermountain, when my compatriot Jeets had the bright idea to try to 'nick' the circlet off the Sorceress - the one over by the lizardfolk. I was at that very moment examining the plaque on the throne of Chief Urdon here, when he abruptly resumed animation and stabbed me in the neck. My soul was drawn into his enchanted blade, and here I have sat for the last four or five decades, growing ever more bored."

"That sounds really rough. If he should stab me in the neck, will you, like, move on to an afterlife, or what?"

"No - the weapon's design was such that my soul was intended to be, well, digested some time ago, but I, fearing oblivion, attempted to escape and return to my body, which had by then been looted by adventurers and consumed by rats. Instead of escaping, I seem to have gotten myself stuck. So I'm no longer being digested, but neither can I be displaced, at least without substantial arcane assistance."

"So if he stabs me in the neck I'll still be stabbed in the neck, which is still bad, but at least straightforwardly so. I guess the advantage of this kind of fight is unlimited buff rounds but perhaps you have other advice?"

"From what I've seen of the Kings in action, Chief Urdon is the heaviest hitter due to his possession of the black blade, which is quite powerfully enchanted even without its ability to steal souls; your taking it before the bout can properly begin can only help. The heaviest hitter after him is King Krolon, with the greatsword and plate mail. The Sorceress loves her magic missile storms, so if you’ve got Shield in your spellbook now would be the time to use it. And if you’ve got any specific kind of blade you’d like me to be for the fight, from falchion to estoc, just say the word.”

"I'm... not especially a sword person but if the rest of y'all are also not especially sword persons I guess I'd take a falx? Also if they all wake up at the same time each of us should take something we do not want them to have at the same moment. Also also does tying them up or finding heavy objects to put on their laps count as taking their stuff."

"Deekin could use quality rapier," Deekin muses. "For when spells run out."

"I've never actually witnessed anyone try to tie them up, but I know that vandalism in a more general sense counts as violence, which would awaken them. I think the coordinated theft idea holds more water."

"Okay, Deekin wants a rapier so he can grab you, I guess, and Garrus can take Krolon's sword, and what are the next two priorities?"

"I'd go for the Sorceress' Staff of Defense next, and those three are the ones who'll wake up immediately - if you want to get out you'll have to fight your way through a couple of others, but then there's a tradeoff between fighting more undead at once and fighting armed undead one at a time."

"I'm not prepped for undead, I was expecting mostly drow this morning, but if I take the staff I can cast shields out of that, and I dunno if any of you three benefit from fox's cunning but I have it qua sorcerer, and I have lots of true strike and a magic missile. You lot?"

"Fox's Cunning is useful, makes my aim a bit sharper, I know that's not usually how it works but for some reason it works for me."

"I'm always prepared to fight undead," Jojo says, his tail swishing slightly despite the gravity of the situation.

"Deekin got plenty of song left in Deekin, ready to support allies and stab skeletons with talking sword if necessary."

"Fox's Cunning, Fox's Cunning." She positions herself beside the throne of the Sorceress so she can duck behind it for cover after she has the rod. "Anything else or should I count down?"

Jojo and Garrus seem to have come to an unspoken agreement that Jojo should be the one to take Krolon's sword, and Garrus should stand in the middle of the triangle formed by the sleeping kings' throne.

And Deekin readies himself to take Enserric.

"Ready when Belmarniss is ready," he says.

"On one. Five four three two one." She yanks and tries for a shield first thing.

And lo, she is shielded! The Sorceress stands up while casting a Quickened magic missile, which gets sucked into the shield. She doesn't seem to notice, already casting another magic missile.

Jojo tosses Krolon's sword to the ground and starts punching him in the skull before he's fully gotten out of his throne.

Deekin wrenches Enserric out of Urdon's skeletal fist, the blade shimmering into a rapier, and starts perforating the skeleton as much as reasonably possible, humming the same tune from earlier in the inn.

And Garrus starts shooting the Sorceress. "Wish we had fewer piercing weapons in this party," he mutters to himself. "Worked with a guy who had a maul once. That'd be nice."