-until it really aggressively doesn't.

Teno Aamind has the horn with him, because he's trying to make it back off with the guilt thing for future users and that's impossible unless he has it on his person. And he's just excavated a new artifact from a dead person's house, but he's got elbow-length gloves on for the purpose, so he didn't touch that.

Then someone appears in midair and lands on both of Teno and the necklace he's found.

"Aaaaaaaa-" Oh wait, things have stopped exploding, maybe he should stop screaming.

"....aaa."

"Bloody hell," says Teno, from the floor. "Did you touch - which one did you - did you land on both of them? Bare skin or did your pants get between you and the - bloody hell."

Lucien of course can't understand this since it's in Noregrsk. It'll take the universal translator a minute.

He needs to tell his mom where he is and what happened. Now. Where is he - is there a window?

There's a window but it's frosted glass; just a vague blur of green is visible through it.

Teno still has his gloves on. He is looking, hands first, for the necklace. Will gestures be enough to get Lucien up and out of the way of the pile of stuff on the floor he created with his fall?

Yes, because he needs to get up and find a door to make up for the unreasonable amount of time he's spent lying on the floor and failing to inform his mom about what happened, as well as anything else he's fucked up by failing to tell her because he's the worst son.

"Hey! Don't go anywhere!"

"Sorry where am I, and do you have a subspace relay I can call my mom with right now?"

"Do I have a what? This place is in the outskirts of Skiund - where were you trying to go?"

"Earth or the Federation...please tell me you have heard of either one of them."

"I could tell you that but I'd be lying. Hell, I need to tell my wife about this, I hope the old lady's phone service never got disconnected..." The necklace located, he triple-bags it. "Did this one touch you or did you only get the horn?"

"...both? Have you uh, heard of spaceships that go to other star systems?"

"No?? You can use the phone after I'm through with my call if that'll do." He's found the phone; the headset rests on his head, wrapping around so part of it's on his ear and part of it on his mouth, and he dials.

Lucien will resist the urge to interrupt to ask the extremely stupid question of whether the phone happens to call other worlds, which it definitely doesn't but he should still at least check.

...though hopefully this doesn't take very long because he hates this and himself soo much.

"Honey, somebody teleported onto me. He got the horn and the new thing. He's freaking out but I think only in a horn way, no idea what the new thing does. It's a necklace. I love you more. I think that's everything urgent but if you'd wait by the phone? Love you most."

And now Lucien can have a turn if he wants.

"I know this is a silly question, but can this device make calls to other star systems?"

"Why in the world would it be able to do that?"

"... no reason." He is not actually supposed to admit he's an alien to a pre-warp civilization. Probably. He's not sure because he's barely had time to memorize the Starfleet cadet handbook, read through the ensign handbook twice, and the command track cadet handbook only once. And none of them had information on how to do away missions beyond 'defer to your superior officer' in the ensign handbook. Really this is on him for not doing the reading eight years ahead of the earliest time he thought he could possibly end up in the field on his own. 

"... do you um. Have an image of where we are in the galaxy."

"Not... on my person...? - ah, fuck, did the necklace make you think you're a space alien, that'd be one for the books and combines very badly with the horn."

Oh no.

"Um. Not that? I just... like astronomy a lot??" He is really not good at this, is he.

"This is not the time to be indulging your astronomy hobby! You just landed on at least one probably two artifacts and we don't know what the necklace does till we give the Dean of Artifact Studies three weeks minimum to stare at it."

"...please?"

"You don't need my permission to like astronomy but I don't have a map of the galaxy up my ass no matter how nonsense your priorities are."

"Do you know where I might find one?"