"Because you also had some principles that sprang from the fact that you were chaotic good, and - I'm probably not chaotic or good, okay, I can't perfectly reconstruct all of your reasons for all of your values, but you had principles.

"I liked your principles."

"Well. I didn't sign up for this."

"Yeah. I know."

Sigh.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm - I don't like not having a good sense of what you're going to do, and I don't like there being a lot of rules that I don't understand, and I don't know what's going to happen, and I don't really like trying to - act like our relationship is the same as it was yesterday - when I don't actually feel like I know you very well, and I also don't really like the thing where you keep insulting the person I fell in love with, but - I understand that you didn't ask for this, I understand that it's not your fault, I understand that you're trying to fix it."

Nod. 

"I understand why you wouldn't feel the same as you did yesterday. But I do, so it's hard to have - lost something without feeling any differently about it -"

"That makes sense."

- she maybe has some doubts about whether his feelings are actually completely unchanged, given, like, everything, and the fact that he can't remember who he used to be very well, but this doesn't seem like a super helpful thing to say. She can sympathize with it, anyway.

"I have noticed that you've been working hard on solving your own problems and figuring out what's needed from you and managing the situation. And I appreciate it."

- oh, okay. He noticed all of the being really afraid and not talking about it and just interpreted it as, like, trying to be helpful.

That's - not great but there are probably worse outcomes.

"Okay."

Snuggle.

As soon as he's fixed she is going to complain to him about his magically lawful evil version so much, and it will be safe to do this and nothing will blow up and everything will be fine.

But she can't talk to him now. Not freely. She can talk to him a little bit, carefully, and that's good, maybe she can ride this thing out.

Hopefully it won't be very long.

She tries to sleep.

If they don't succeed at falling asleep on their own he'll use a spell for it, on her and then on him, in a little bit.

She is not in fact very good at falling asleep. You'd think the exhaustion would help but the thing where her husband is evil does not help.

Evil with a lot of spell slots, though.

Yeah. Spell slots help on this front.

When she wakes up she has no idea what time it is. There's no external light. 

Probably she's just stuck here until Hagan wakes up, she doesn't really like any of her alternatives.

He sleeps kind of a long time. 

When he wakes up he reaches over to sleepily snuggle her and then remembers everything and then stops and then decides to do it anyway. 

Snuggles are acceptable.

"Should..pray," he says unhappily after a while.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess."

He gets out of bed, adjusts his robes, kneels on the floor. Closes his eyes. He looks very tired despite having slept for a long time.

...well this is gonna take an hour.

She looks around to see if there's any paper and ink, to write a letter to Fazil.

There is some, placed on a desk presumably by someone unaware that their pharaoh cannot read or write.

That's good. Then she can take some of it and get to work.

Dear Fazil,

Hagan says that I'm not allowed to speak to men for the duration of this situation, but I am allowed to send you letters. I wanted to talk to you because I'm concerned about him, and because I don't understand the rules here very well yet, and because I'm uncertain of our ability to communicate and you have not been recently cursed.

I would appreciate an assessment of how likely it is that there is in fact any way to replace Hagan with a different pharaoh before he dies. I'd also appreciate an assessment of how long it's likely to be. I don't want to be budgeting for six months of this if it's actually going to last for twenty years.

I'm still not certain how much about him has changed. He doesn't seem to remember his previous value system very well, in addition to not understanding it. He asserted that he hadn't had any principles before being affected by the helmet, and when I reminded him of some of them, he acknowledged that I was right but couldn't remember why he had believed in them. I don't have a good description of the exact changes yet. He's definitely off in ways that concern me, but it's difficult to tell how much is the helmet and how much is stress. He hasn't been violent or physically threatening.

We are having a disagreement that we wanted you to weigh in on. As I understand it, Hagan believes that I have a legal obligation to obey all of his orders, prostrate myself before him whenever he enters a room, and wait for permission to speak to him, look at him, or stand. He believes that I continue to have this legal obligation when we are alone, and that it is not affected by my belief that I am not a subject of the Osirian crown, but of Cheliax. He does believe that he has the ability to waive these rules, but believes that he should not do so without a good reason. When I asked him why it was important, he said that he needed to know that I would do what he asked of me.

I don't know what constitutes a good reason. I am very uncomfortable with the assertion that I should obey him regardless of what he demands, especially if he intends to give me orders that harm me solely to demonstrate my unwavering loyalty to him. Asmodeus does this, and he does it by similar means; in Cheliax it is accepted that prostrating oneself is a sign of absolute submission, a physically dramatic reminder of the worthlessness of one's own desires and goals. I rejected this idea in part because I met Ihysians, but also because Hagan led me to believe that the things I wanted were important, and valuable, and worth trading off against his own, in some cases. He said last night that he had told me wrong, and that he had only said this to make me happy. But I think he might have been confused about what I meant. We're both kind of bad at talking right now, I think. I just - I'm not sure how to have a livable relationship with someone who, on top of everything else, insists that I at all times treat him as a deity, as someone who does not need to respect me or consider my comfort or treat me as more than a slave.

I'm willing to follow the laws in public. I understand that the situation is complicated, and that it's very important for people to accept Hagan as a genuine pharaoh, leaving no cause for disrespect or questions about his legitimacy. I don't want to cause a problem for him. But the idea that he won't waive the rules in private is upsetting, and confusing, and frightening, and I don't know what it means.

Hagan said that he would talk to you about this later, so I assume that he'll give you his side of things later. I just - I want things to be livable. I don't know what advice I expect you to give him, but I hope you can help us.

I would very much appreciate updates on the broader situation if you can spare the time to write them. And I'm curious about the plan to get your and Mahdi's wives back. I hope you're okay.

Thank you for reading.

- Korva Tallandria

When she's done, she waits for the ink to dry and for Hagan to stop praying.