"My, I wouldn't know, but whoever it is I'm sure the newest Beater for the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team will have no trouble dealing with them!"

"Just don't hit each other directly with the bats, that's all I ask."

"What do you think we are, barbarians?"

"I'm sorry, what distinguishing characteristic did I miss?"

"Us civilised people don't hit other people, we make other things hit other people, or we hit other people indirectly."

"My mistake."

"It's okay, you stay around us long enough and you'll learn these things."

Giggle.

"Anyway," she says, looking at Miranda. "D'you wanna practice Patronuses today during free period?"

"Sure."

"How far did you two get?"

"I didn't really get much more than mist but the last time I tried was last year, and maybe there's something to do with age, or I could try some new memories."

"That's about how far I got too."

"Oh, well. If you guys manage it I might try."

"I just can't quite figure out why it's so hard."

"Granger said it was pretty idiosyncratic last year, but it kinda feels like, 'hey, you're not happy enough, try again!' Not the most heartening of thoughts."

"Well, maybe you'll figure it out when you're closer to the age people usually learn it?"

"Harry Potter learnt when he was thirteen. He cannot be that special at that many different things."

"I mean, they could be correlated, somehow, although it beats me how."

She starts listing. "Killed You-Know-Who when he was one. Star Quidditch player for Gryffindor. Figured out how to cast the Patronus when he was thirteen. Won the Tri-Wizard Tournament when he was fourteen, three years younger than his youngest peer. Killed You-Know-Who again when he was seventeen. Am I forgetting anything?"

"I think that's more or less it."

"Bleh. I dunno, maybe you have to have had horrible things happen to you so you can compare to your happier memories?"

"Because that's not horrible or anything."

"It's a little horrible. Should we try that? I don't think we've tried comparison type stuff."

"Maybe? I'd meant that maybe it won't work for us until something horrible enough happens to us that we can 'truly appreciate' happiness or something," she says, air-quoting with her fingers. "That'd explain why some people manage to go from nothing to full corporeal Patronus when they see a Dementor."