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in which karen teller saves expat fairy celegorm from zombies
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"Well. That makes me feel a little better."

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"If you're - like that - it makes a lot of sense that you'd be scared you'd hurt me, giving orders."

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Nod.

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"I'm not really like that, though."

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"I do not really feel like this is enough of a guideline to stop worrying about it."

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"Would it maybe help if I listed the things I'm stressed about?"

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Nodnod.

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"I have to go to school and I hate it. I feel like I should've protected you from zombies so I feel dumb for not doing that even though it sounds like actually everything would be worse if you were indebted to me. I wish I could read because then I could help you do your homework. I like you and I'm worried that's why this is awkward and if you'd gotten one of my brothers it'd be fine. I think it's kind of unfair that you don't want to be my friend anymore because you saved my life but I can't complain about that because you saved my life. I wish you thought fairies were neat.

Pretty sure that's everything."

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"I don't not wanna be your friend! I just think I'm - worse at it, when things are like this, or something."

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"You stopped talking to me the next day."

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" - well, that's a kind of being worse at it."

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"I guess."

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"Talking to people is... hard. And it's harder when things are weird and you feel like a bunch of stuff you're saying is having effects that you can't see or account for."

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"Talking to people is hard because people mostly suck. But if they don't suck, then it's not hard to talk to them. Maybe that's the same thing but if it is then - I didn't suck, and now I do, and that's kind of depressing."

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"It's not just hard to talk to people because they suck! It's - hard to stop thinking about how much I suck long enough to hear what they're saying. Or something."

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"I don't think I have that problem."

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"I kind of have to assume most people don't, given that people do observably ever talk to each other."

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"Things you said to me were always creating debt or vice versa, it's just that it was usually in small enough amounts I could keep it even without working that hard at it.And if I got behind I could pump the tires on your bike when you weren't looking or something."

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Sigh.

"I guess maybe little amounts of debt aren't horrible if they don't, like, get people stuck doing stuff that they hate doing."

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"Almost none of the people stuck doing stuff they hate doing is because of debt, as far as I know. Or not fairy debt. Most boys kissing girls who're scared has absolutely nothing to do with any fairies."

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"Yeah. Lots of interactions between people are terrible. I just usually deal with this by not having any."

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"I guess that's reasonable."

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"So if you want me to talk to you - which seems totally reasonable, as long as you've been exiled to my house - and be happy about it, then I have to figure out how to make it not terrible, and I'm bad at this, see, even when there isn't weird magic stuff. And - I was kinda able to talk to you before I knew about the weird magic stuff, so it stands to reason that the weird magic stuff is probably part of why it keeps seeming terrible now."

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"I guess."

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Sigh.

She doesn't actually have a lot of immediate suggestions on this front.

 

"Really don't think it'd be going any better if it was one of your brothers."

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