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in which karen teller saves expat fairy celegorm from zombies
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"I think I'm really glad I'm a human. Like, I was anyway, but being a fairy seems.... bad."

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"I like it."

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"How's it better?"

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"I won't die. I don't have to get a job and work it full-time my entire healthy life. I get to run around in trees and see the world from lots of different angles. I don't have to think about time."

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"How do fairies get by if they don't work jobs? Like, you'd still have to spend a bunch of time looking for food and stuff, right?"

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"Nah. Fairies don't actually have to eat. They just like to because food tastes good."

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"Oh. Well, that's convenient, I guess."

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"It is! Mostly fairies just run around exploring and making pretty hidden fairy courts."

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"Seems like it'd get old eventually."

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"I don't think so. It's a big world."

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"Maybe. I don't think I'd trade getting to see the whole world for getting to appreciate all the art in it, though. Or getting to make my own art and show it to other people without expecting them to give me anything for it."

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"I get to see everything, just a bit late. And I'm not great at making stuff."

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"Well, I'm not great at making stuff either, but I could be, someday."

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"Maybe someday I'll make woodcarvings so astonishing that any mortal who looks at them will be ensnared."

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"That just sounds depressing."

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" - why?"

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"Because then you can't ever show your woodcarvings to people without a bunch of - stuff, between you. You can't ever just make something great and have everybody else in the world be uncomplicatedly better off for getting to see it."

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"I mean, no, but you get to ensnare mortals, which is reportedly fun."

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"It sounds awful."

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"You don't seem like the personality type, I guess."

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"Really, though! Like, either you're stuck with your fate entangled with someone you don't like, in which case you're going to spend a lot of time really annoyed, probably, or you're stuck making someone you do like pay off a bunch of magical debt to you, even if it makes them sad or scared, and maybe they won't be able to say anything about it because that'd get in the way of paying off their debts, and then you will've made this great beautiful thing for people and the main effect it'll have on the world is making people you like sad.

"Or I guess maybe you could ensnare people who you liked having around but didn't care to worry about whether anything bad happened to them as a result, but it seems like you'd have to be - not a very nice person, for that to work out."

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"I think you just - tell them that now they're yours, and then they're kind of scared, and then you show them how to lick the nectar out of flowers and how to climb up to the very top of a tree and how to get really close to a bird and a bug, and then you hang out in a bird's nest and talk about their life until they're even with you, and then you send them home. And - they have something very special, then, and it's good for them."

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"I guess if nothing goes wrong in all that, and they don't miss any time back home, that sounds maybe other than horrible. Except the part where fairies tell you that you're theirs now does not sound kind of scary, it sounds, like - more terrifying than zombies."

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"What? But zombies look and smell terrible and they move weirdly and they're trying to kill you."

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"Fairies could be trying to kill you. You wouldn't know. And they're obviously being way smarter about whatever they're doing than the zombies."

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