Then, finally, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Or rather, at the top of the drawer. With a hand reaching inside and grabbing Enserric by the quillons.

Now he is being inspected by a blue-haired man with a critical eye and resigned face.

"-counterproductive!" the sword says triumphantly. "Oh! You there! Yes, you! Please, take me away from this place! If I have to spend another week staring into the darkness of that drawer I swear I'll go mad!"

Teo almost drops the sword. "This fucking place! Sure, I will take you out." He stands up and closes the drawer with his other hand. "How did you even get there in the first place?"

"Were you not looking for something particular in the first place?" the sword wonders. "And, ah, let's just say I had... a disagreement with the security staff. In retrospect, it could have been worse; I was at least relegated to lost property, rather than to the depths of the lake."

"I was looking for a toy weapon. Boring story, don't ask. So, you managed to piss off security, fun. I am not planning to put you back there. Is there anywhere else that you'd rather be?"

"Well, ideally, I would go back to Mareth with a new, brilliant wielder and slay the demon queen Lethice," the blade says. "In practice, I'll go anywhere that isn't that bloody drawer. But I'd really like to kill Lethice. Something of a personal goal of mine."

"Oh, you're that kind of magical sword." Teo decides to move back to the main bar area. He looks around, and appears unsurprised about it being empty. "What's up with this demon queen of yours?"

"She's trying to conquer the world, which is probably the least of my problems with her," the sword drawls. "In addition, she's corrupted the land of Mareth into a grotesque parody of itself, enslaved countless innocent and less innocent souls, raped and murdered thousands more, and, I don't know, probably committed tax fraud. I'm largely invested because she also did all that to me personally."

Pause. "Not the tax fraud thing," he clarifies. "That was a joke."

"I am from a world where tax fraud can be a capital offense. A civilized world, as other patrons would put it. So, thanks for explaining it was a joke." Teo mimics the sword's drawl "But she does sound like someone in need of slaying."

"I'm glad you agree," the sword says. "I'm Enserric, by the way."

"Dateovont Moro. But call me Teo. Do you have a preference wheren I should place you?" He waves at Milliways around him.

"Not planning on taking up my quest or taking me with you, hmm? You can lay me down on the bar, if you must."

"Is not that I am not interested in joining a glorious quest to release a land from evil. I just want to talk more about it beforehand. Also, I am permaspringing and I don't want to rush any decisions."

"Ah, of course. You can set me down on the table, then. Permaspringing?"

Teo does that, and takes a sit. "Yeah. I am a species called Amentan. We spring, which means an increase in sex-drive and desire to have babies that can lead to suicide. Typically, it happens during spring season. Unless, we are somewhere without proper seasons, in which case our bodies default into permanent sex-and-baby-craziness."

"Dear me. It sounds somewhat like what Lethice is doing to my world. Mostly in the sex-drive sense, rather than the part about babies. ...mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Well, the goblins certainly want babies. And the bee-women and sand traps will implant their eggs in you if you give them half a chance. And satyrs will impregnate anything that walks on two legs, whether it has a uterus or not. It's not actually a representative sample of Mareth's corrupt, most of them just want to rut and run, but it's not nothing."

Teo makes a confused face. "Gah." His voice is just as confused.

"I was impregnated by a satyr once, back when I had a body," Enserric muses, instead of commenting on the face Teo is making. "The result inspired a certain amount of paternal fondness, as I recall. Certainly more than any goblin I sired. But satyr-spawn grow to maturity within a few hours, so there wasn't much time to bond."

"Gah." Teo repeats. "Change of subject, you used to have a body? How did you get to be this way? The demon queen?"

"To some extent, yes. I was sent to destroy her, but I was ambushed as I slept, kidnapped, and force-fed potions which reduced me to a corrupt, lust-crazed sex slave. I lived that way for many years, imprisoned in one of her innumerable castles, until my senses returned to me for one agonizing moment. I used that moment to cast a spell, reducing the castle to rubble and my body to ash. Such was my fury, however, that my spirit stayed in Mareth as a ghost. I wandered, slowly fading, until I found this sword, which was enchanted as a conduit for magical energy. Desperate to continue on, I forced myself into the blade. I was then picked up by a later champion on the same quest, who found this fascinating interdimensional bar, then decided for reasons unknown to me that she should pick a fight with the tentacle monster in the lake. She was unceremoniously devoured, and I found my way to the lost and found drawer, where you acquired me."

"Wow." Pause. "Why is there so much sex magical stuff going on?"

"Lethice is a demoness. Demons are creatures of lust, lust being one of the strongest emotions used to fuel black magic. They're also fond of wrath, but if they kill someone they're simply dead, whereas corruption turns people into assets."

Head tilt. "Why lust has anything to do with corruption? Or wrath?"