"...makes sense." They should stop wearing shirts, Haru has made an executive decision.

Yeah, he's amenable. That'll make the acute symptoms go away much faster. "When this gets bad enough I get suicidal. After one too many close calls, I..."

"...you?"

Shrug. "I no longer pay attention to what I'm feeling or thinking. Not until I'm—better. I just keep doing whatever I was doing, trusting that that decision was probably good enough. It's not like any other decision feels any better, anyway."

Pet pet. "Well, that's probably at least - convenient for the project, I guess."

"'The project'?"

"I've been referring to 'Project Cut It Out Forever'?"

"Ah. Right."

"I can do the thing where I fuck you through the blah till it goes away but I have to admit it's less appealing than when you're discernibly horny about it, d'you have a preference either which way?"

"I'd prefer being 'fucked through the blah', yes. I can... look hornier?" He never felt motivated to try, with his prior partners, but he knows he can do it.

"Nah, that'd weird me out." Kiss. "Come to bed."

To bed! 

"I understand that. And I—am not saying this to insist, but just to add a model of—it's sometimes useful, to me, to think of the person I'm presenting as more real than the person I'm feeling like, since... I'm choosing to be him. And I'm not choosing to be—this."

"Hm. I think that makes a lot of sense on the level of longer term policies and preferences and such and less on the level of moment to moment moods. Anyway. On your knees."

...he doesn't actually have to pretend to find that enticing. Even at this level of backlash he can appreciate being told what to do by his Haru. "Yes, sir."

See, it's efficient, because at this level of Jaeha-backlash Haru doesn't even have to feel awkward about his favorite thing being asymmetrical, and also the guiding fluids get into the person who more acutely needs them.

God yes. He likes his Haru so, so much. So much.

Haru likes his Jaeha so much too.

"You know," he says, after they've gotten him to zero, "you could just use me. All the time, really, but especially when I'm like that. Do whatever you want with me. I'd go along with everything."

"...it's not really my kink but I could rotate it in the brain microwave for a while and see if it gets anywhere, if it's yours."

"—it might be? I'd suggested it more out of convenience but it's telling that that's what I came up with so naturally when I was fishing for convenience."

"I suppose it is. I will put it in the brain microwave." He pokes an imaginary button. "Beep."

Soooooo cute. Jaeha should kiss him a lot.

Yes he should!

"The problem I was trying to solve with it was—I still feel like I want to consider the—person I'd be without backlash the real me, that's, that's a big part of why I used to use my power for communication. If I'm just the person I look like I am under backlash that makes me feel... small and helpless. But if I could—set policy, like you said—what the real me would've wanted was for you to fuck my brains in regardless of what it looked like I was feeling at the time. 

"...though even then having you tell me to get on my knees and suck your cock was extremely hot, I'd like it if that happened more often."

"I am more than happy to oblige you in this."