"...uh..."

Patient smile.

"I guess I could?" That is still making him feel awful though.

"It sounds hard?"

"Yeah." He's so pathetic.

"Would it be easier to ask him over text than out loud? Would it help to tell him it's homework from me?"

Oh. "Yes. To both." His brain is so stupid.

"Well, then, that's homework. Pay attention to how it feels throughout, while you're working up to it and while you ask and while you're waiting for an answer and once you've got one. I'm going to want to hear about that, but you can also tell him how you're feeling, too - again over text if that helps."

"Okay. I, uh. Can do that." Homework. From therapy. That sounds so fucking bizarre.

"And we're coming up on the end of the time slot. Is there anything else you want to mention before we wrap?"

"I guess not?" He feels like he's already dumped so much on this poor therapist. He's not sure he... likes... therapy... but it's probably too early to tell, and he has next steps of things to do so he probably should do them and see what that does.

"Shall I put you down for the same time next week?"

"Yeah. I think that works."

Write write. "Then I'll see you then, Kang Jaeha-nim. I'm going to email you a couple of screening questionnaires, too, they shouldn't take more than fifteen to twenty minutes all told."

More therapy homework. Absolutely bizarre.

"It's been..." A pleasure? "Interesting, doctor-nim. I'm looking forward to our future sessions."

"Likewise." She waves and the video freezes on her mid-smile.

Okay! That was hard and scary and stressful and, what was it that his ✨boyfriend✨ called it, ego-syntonic? It was ego-syntonic, for an ego that he's not quite fully inhabiting yet but is doing so enough to feel the edges of it. 

Speaking of his ✨boyfriend✨, is he home, did he go to a dungeon?

He timed one with this in mind and his estimate was pretty good - mere moments later: "Tadaima!"

"Okaeri!" Jaeha calls back, walking up to Haru to hug him.

Snuggle! "How was Park-sensei?"

"—this is not a request to change your idiolect in any way but it is kind of funny that when you said 'Park-sensei' I immediately thought of three separate high school teachers I had.

"She was—it was interesting. She said something that made me think she might be homophobic in most contexts but maybe not when it comes to espers and I am not sure how well she can comparmentalise it but the parts of our conversation that were about you and our relationship did not seem to be very marked so maybe she can? And given my tendencies to overthink everything people say I'm not sure how much I should trust that impression.

"Other than that I think it was maybe useful. Most of the session she was asking me questions about various things and I—did not give her full answers because I didn't want to get into the weeds of the issues that have been historically confidential to me, but I told her that I was doing that, and eventually she asked me some useful questions and gave me homework. I didn't know therapy could give you homework. I think it was probably useful homework."

"Well, 'shinrigakusha' is kind of a mouthful and not a normal suffix. I could have told you about the homework, it got on my nerves. What's your homework?"

"I'd just have used her full name," he says, because he doesn't want to answer the question.

He's going to anyway. "My homework is... difficult. Or, well, part of it is. Another part is just filling out some questionnaires."

"What'd she give you that was difficult?"

"It's. You know. Brain stuff."