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Pidge slams the door as he stumbles into his hotel room, tears in his eyes. He thought this software engineering conference would be safe, but the presenter had used his old name and refused to gender him correctly during his whole talk. He had held on during the talk not wanting to make a scene but now he was alone the tears wouldn't stop coming. He had called the organizers on the way back in the rideshare but they had been utterly unhelpful pulling out bullshit lines like "It's the presenters free speech" and "We don't get involved with the political views of our employees". He bets if it had been a racial slur the presenter said they would have gotten involved and not cared one whit about the presenters free speech then.
Pidge flops onto his bed and punches the pillow a few times just upset at the whole world.
A fairy is sitting atop the bookshelf.
"Hello, Pidge."
After saying this she flutters down from the bookshelf and hovers next to the bed.
What?...The fuck? "Well it's official, I've gone mad." Yeah someone must have slipped him something at the conference because he is seeing fairies right now.
"You most certainly have not. I am very real indeed. And what's more, you have been chosen! Tell me, what is your greatest wish?"
Might as well indulge the hallucination if he is that far gone. "I want a new life...wh-where I'm a man and have the body to prove it and nobody is going to give me shit for it anymore. No more being referred to as 'Doctor Katie Holt' at talks even though I've made my name and gender clear. Just want a fresh start where I can just be what I want to be..." He says miserably. "You happy now hallucination fairy? You know my angsty angst. Hopefully, you don't turn into a swarm of spiders now I've told you or something." That would be a bad trip and he has heard about those. Well, pidge has never been on hallucinatory drugs but that's what he imagines it might be like.
"Well fresh starts are my specialty! Lets see, would you like the same parents again? And how old would you like to be? I can do anywhere from 5 to 8!"
"That's a shitty age range... can't even skip puberty. You sure I can't get three unbounded wishes like a genie?" Releasing a self-pitying groan, Drugs sucked. Damn whoever spiked him. "New life. New parents. 8 I guess if I can't just be an adult." As long as the voices weren't telling him to kill people he might as well play along.
"I'm not a genie, I'm a fairy" She replies rather crossly.
"Wishes come with a price, and being a child is my price. Now, you cannot tell anyone who has not made a wish themselves about any of this, and you must do your best to act like a child- the people around you will not be able to be convinced you are from the future, or that you are really an adult, or even that you are some kind of genius who should get to skip grades, but if you act strange they will still notice, and you don't want to be spending all your time with a therapist, do you? So do you need any more information before I grant your wish?"
"But I got to skip grades the first time around! I am some kind of genius! Ugh, grade-school again? Ugh, high-school without being able to skip? This is a bad trip..." This hallucinatory wish fairy was so unfair! Why couldn't this be a nice hallucination that gave unlimited all-powerful wishes. "So like...bam it's 20 years ago and I am a child again. I can't go tell people about the financial crash or 9/11? Or predict a certain horrible president? Man nobody would believe me if I told them about that anyway...heh. What if you gave me like...20 minutes to look up lottery numbers?"
"Afraid not. You are welcome to try to prevent things, of course, but you can't tell anyone about them. And no, you can't look up lottery numbers, you're going to be a child anyway, I won't encourage children to gamble! Is that all? Any more questions?"
"Can I be a really really cute kid? Like gosh darned that's an adorable little boy who you would never want to get into trouble." That'd be kind of fun, messing around with people but adults taking his side because he would be 8. He knows plenty of little asshole kids who belong to his high school friends who get away with shit because they are young. "That's all then I guess hallucination fairy. Won't you have egg on your face when you stick around failing to grant wishes because you aren't real...wait that doesn't make sense. Hallucinations can't be embarrassed. Whatever...You are more fun than something scary at least..." Flopping face down into the pillow. He would probably take this all more seriously if he wasn't so emotionally exhausted. Being spiked something this effective is serious business!
At this, the fairy pulls a wand out of thin air, spins around with it dramatically, taps him on the head with it...and he passes out.
Alistair sighs as he walks from the kitchen into his bedroom. Tired, bored, lonely....but what's new. He flops onto the bed and contemplates getting changed...but he can't. Not yet. Taking off his binder right now would take his evening from depressing to awful.
Alistair jumps out of bed, now very glad he hadn't gotten changed. "WHAT THE FUCK" He yells, before looking around to see who's talking to him. "Wait, who's speaking, there's no one in my room. Am I going mad? Hearing voices or some shit?"
The fairy flies off his dresser and approaches him. "Not at all. I am a fairy, and very real, might I add, not a hallucination nor a voice in ones head, and I have chosen you! Now, what is your greatest wish?"
"A fairy. Really. And you expect me to believe I'm not hallucinating? Whatever. My greatest wish? Make me a cis guy. And don't twist my words around, change definitions, any of that kind of crap, just make me a cis guy as currently defined." He knows better than to trust something that shows up offering wishes, and he's pretty sure he's just hallucinating, that he's finally cracked but.... Opportunities like this don't show up every day, and he's wanted 1 impossible wish as long as he can remember. He's not gonna pass this up.
"I can certainly do that! And I am not in the business of twisting words. I do, however, have a price- you must live out childhood again. With your wish granted, of course, not to worry. Now, would you like your old parents or new ones? And how old would you like to be? I can do between 5 and 8."
"My old parents. But with their memories adjusted, so I've always been a boy. And I'd like to be 8. I guess. What else is there to the price? Will I lose all my memories or something, to protect the timeline or whatever?" He rather hopes he won't, he likes his memories. Even if he hates having not gotten this to begin with... He doesn't want to lose who he is, and he kinda figures losing his memories would do that.
"Alright, I can do that. Not to worry, you won't lose your memories. You can't tell anyone, though. You won't be able to tell anyone about this unless they've also had a wish granted by me, and you can't tell anyone you're really an adult. People won't be able to come to that conclusion on their own, or to decide you're some kind of genius and let you skip grades, but if you act too weird, they will notice, and you don't want to be stuck in therapy all the time, do you? Now, do you have any other questions or should I grant your wish now?"
"Can I tell people I can predict the future, stop bad stuff from happening? Can I change things, on purpose? How will I know when someone else has has a wish granted by you?" He doesn't really want to predict the future, but it might be useful. But if there are gonna be other kids who are actually time-travelling adults...he wants to know them.
"No predicting the future, go ahead and try to change things, and you'll know because you will be able to tell them about the time travel. You know what, I'll show up the night before you're about to meet one, if you're about to meet one, and let you know, give you a bit of a heads up. If you try to tell someone you can't by the way, you'll have a coughing fit. And you won't be able to talk about it around anyone you can't tell, either. Is that all?"
"Yeah, that's all, go ahead and grant my wish." He still isn't convinced this is real but...well, he'll see soon, won't he?
At this, the fairy pulls a wand out of thin air, spins around with it dramatically, taps him on the head with it...and he passes out.
Pidge groans as he wakes up. His body feels...off. What did he even get slipped last night? He should go to the hospital probably and tell the police...
This...Isn't his hotel room, that is very worrying. And his limbs feel very very wrong when he tries to move them. Could it be?...no way...there is no way...no fucking way.
He looks down. Yep, that torso doesn't have a binder or small breasts (he forgot to take his off last night like an idiot) and is much too short. Those arms are the wrong shape and length. He reaches down into his pajamas (that he did not remember putting on).
"WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!" He screams and flails around at the shock of feeling A PENIS! He ends up falling out of bed with a loud 'THUMP!'.
A concerned womans voice calls through the door "You alright in there, Pidge? We can't have you going to your new parents all bruised up, you know"