Pidge slams the door as he stumbles into his hotel room, tears in his eyes. He thought this software engineering conference would be safe, but the presenter had used his old name and refused to gender him correctly during his whole talk. He had held on during the talk not wanting to make a scene but now he was alone the tears wouldn't stop coming. He had called the organizers on the way back in the rideshare but they had been utterly unhelpful pulling out bullshit lines like "It's the presenters free speech" and "We don't get involved with the political views of our employees". He bets if it had been a racial slur the presenter said they would have gotten involved and not cared one whit about the presenters free speech then.
Pidge flops onto his bed and punches the pillow a few times just upset at the whole world.
Might as well indulge the hallucination if he is that far gone. "I want a new life...wh-where I'm a man and have the body to prove it and nobody is going to give me shit for it anymore. No more being referred to as 'Doctor Katie Holt' at talks even though I've made my name and gender clear. Just want a fresh start where I can just be what I want to be..." He says miserably. "You happy now hallucination fairy? You know my angsty angst. Hopefully, you don't turn into a swarm of spiders now I've told you or something." That would be a bad trip and he has heard about those. Well, pidge has never been on hallucinatory drugs but that's what he imagines it might be like.
"That's a shitty age range... can't even skip puberty. You sure I can't get three unbounded wishes like a genie?" Releasing a self-pitying groan, Drugs sucked. Damn whoever spiked him. "New life. New parents. 8 I guess if I can't just be an adult." As long as the voices weren't telling him to kill people he might as well play along.
"I'm not a genie, I'm a fairy" She replies rather crossly.
"Wishes come with a price, and being a child is my price. Now, you cannot tell anyone who has not made a wish themselves about any of this, and you must do your best to act like a child- the people around you will not be able to be convinced you are from the future, or that you are really an adult, or even that you are some kind of genius who should get to skip grades, but if you act strange they will still notice, and you don't want to be spending all your time with a therapist, do you? So do you need any more information before I grant your wish?"
"But I got to skip grades the first time around! I am some kind of genius! Ugh, grade-school again? Ugh, high-school without being able to skip? This is a bad trip..." This hallucinatory wish fairy was so unfair! Why couldn't this be a nice hallucination that gave unlimited all-powerful wishes. "So like...bam it's 20 years ago and I am a child again. I can't go tell people about the financial crash or 9/11? Or predict a certain horrible president? Man nobody would believe me if I told them about that anyway...heh. What if you gave me like...20 minutes to look up lottery numbers?"
"Can I be a really really cute kid? Like gosh darned that's an adorable little boy who you would never want to get into trouble." That'd be kind of fun, messing around with people but adults taking his side because he would be 8. He knows plenty of little asshole kids who belong to his high school friends who get away with shit because they are young. "That's all then I guess hallucination fairy. Won't you have egg on your face when you stick around failing to grant wishes because you aren't real...wait that doesn't make sense. Hallucinations can't be embarrassed. Whatever...You are more fun than something scary at least..." Flopping face down into the pillow. He would probably take this all more seriously if he wasn't so emotionally exhausted. Being spiked something this effective is serious business!
"A fairy. Really. And you expect me to believe I'm not hallucinating? Whatever. My greatest wish? Make me a cis guy. And don't twist my words around, change definitions, any of that kind of crap, just make me a cis guy as currently defined." He knows better than to trust something that shows up offering wishes, and he's pretty sure he's just hallucinating, that he's finally cracked but.... Opportunities like this don't show up every day, and he's wanted 1 impossible wish as long as he can remember. He's not gonna pass this up.
"I can certainly do that! And I am not in the business of twisting words. I do, however, have a price- you must live out childhood again. With your wish granted, of course, not to worry. Now, would you like your old parents or new ones? And how old would you like to be? I can do between 5 and 8."
"My old parents. But with their memories adjusted, so I've always been a boy. And I'd like to be 8. I guess. What else is there to the price? Will I lose all my memories or something, to protect the timeline or whatever?" He rather hopes he won't, he likes his memories. Even if he hates having not gotten this to begin with... He doesn't want to lose who he is, and he kinda figures losing his memories would do that.
"Alright, I can do that. Not to worry, you won't lose your memories. You can't tell anyone, though. You won't be able to tell anyone about this unless they've also had a wish granted by me, and you can't tell anyone you're really an adult. People won't be able to come to that conclusion on their own, or to decide you're some kind of genius and let you skip grades, but if you act too weird, they will notice, and you don't want to be stuck in therapy all the time, do you? Now, do you have any other questions or should I grant your wish now?"
"Can I tell people I can predict the future, stop bad stuff from happening? Can I change things, on purpose? How will I know when someone else has has a wish granted by you?" He doesn't really want to predict the future, but it might be useful. But if there are gonna be other kids who are actually time-travelling adults...he wants to know them.
"No predicting the future, go ahead and try to change things, and you'll know because you will be able to tell them about the time travel. You know what, I'll show up the night before you're about to meet one, if you're about to meet one, and let you know, give you a bit of a heads up. If you try to tell someone you can't by the way, you'll have a coughing fit. And you won't be able to talk about it around anyone you can't tell, either. Is that all?"
Pidge groans as he wakes up. His body feels...off. What did he even get slipped last night? He should go to the hospital probably and tell the police...
This...Isn't his hotel room, that is very worrying. And his limbs feel very very wrong when he tries to move them. Could it be?...no way...there is no way...no fucking way.
He looks down. Yep, that torso doesn't have a binder or small breasts (he forgot to take his off last night like an idiot) and is much too short. Those arms are the wrong shape and length. He reaches down into his pajamas (that he did not remember putting on).
"WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!" He screams and flails around at the shock of feeling A PENIS! He ends up falling out of bed with a loud 'THUMP!'.
Ahhhh the fairy was real! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
The internal screaming continues for some time until pidge snaps out of it. "I-I'm fine! Just woke up from a freaky dream!"
By every god in the pantheon of humanity, he was a boy! An 8-year-old boy! Pidge pats himself over trying to get a feel for what he looked like, then spots a mirror in the connected bathroom to this room. Well, that works too.
Pidge looks himself over in the mirror. He still looks like himself sorta. You could think this body and his old one were siblings maybe. He had the same brown hair that stuck up in places, same eyes and a similar nose even. But he was definitely a little boy now in facial features and body. He quickly pulls down his pajama bottoms to get a look at what he felt earlier.
Yep. That's a penis, neat.
He is unsure whether to be thrilled to be a boy or horrified to be a child. He is a pretty cute kid though, he could see himself being a pretty hot guy when he grew up. Yeah no there were more immediate things to worry about like who that was outside the door.
Okay... new parents. So this must be like an adoption agency person maybe? Well, any acting weird can just be put down to nerves about meeting his new family.
He looks over the room for some clothes and finds some, puts them on. Boxer briefs felt weird now he actually had something that needed the roominess. A T-shirt and shorts completed the kid standard wardrobe.
Any lingering weirdness about his limbs being different proportions quickly vanished while he was dressing and he felt pretty at home in this body now, even if seeing himself in the mirror was still a shock every single time it happened. Time to face this stranger and pretend he was a normal kid, and out the door he goes.
Ohhh cereal! Sugary goodness he couldn't quite make himself buy as an adult because of a general sense of health shame. Well, screw that he was 8! Time to eat all of the sugar. "Uhhh okay." Hoping him having no idea who this woman was just came off as excitement for breakfast or adoption nerves or something.
He goes to sit at the table. Gosh the chair was so high now and so was the table. He hopes he gets taller soon this could get annoying being so short. Om nom nom nom fruit loops are the best, childhood has perks at least.
He finishes his food quickly. "Do I actually have any stuff I need to get?... Wouldn't my new parents already have everything they need?..." He says to the woman, trying to find out if he actually has any stuff in the first place.
"I will!" Well, that didn't sound like he had very many possessions. Hopefully, his new parents liked to spoil him. He slides off his chair (Being short sucked!) and goes back to the room.
Oh... look. A suitcase was on the floor, so he does have more things. He picks through the suitcase trying to see if there were any clues to the manufactured previous life of this body (At least he hoped it was manufactured, body stealing a body that looked like him would be a weird way to grant that wish). Nope, no clues, just more Walmart brand clothes and not much else. No GameBoy games or paperback books or anything. Oh well makes sense it would just be generic stuff in this new life. So he brushes his teeth, packs his pajamas and toothbrush and goes back to the living room to wait awkwardly.
A few minutes later, someone knocks on the door. The woman who reminded him to brush his teeth answers the door, and another woman walks in.
"Hello, Pidge. Got all your stuff ready? We need to head out to take you to meet your new family!"
She sounds overly cheery in the manner of someone who likes kids but hasn't fully comprehended that they're people.
Huh. Neat. Not so far back that technology sucked too badly. He can play all the GameBoy advance games he didn't get to the first time around. Watch the shows he missed like Lost or Buffy.
Sitting for so long was... Different with a penis. Having to shift around every so often to readjust. Also not having boobs was amazing just all the time looking down and it being flat.
Was the child brain affecting him? because he started feeling all antsy and needing to do something. He puts down his newspaper and tries looking out the window but that didn't help much. "You know if they are allergic to dogs? I always wanted a dog." He asks the social worker. Dad had been allergic to every animal in his last life and his apartment was too small as an adult to have a dog.
Ugh wow, the over the top cheeriness had already gotten so old it had fossilized. "Yeah...sure I guess. It'd be a bit weird to just drop me off at the front door without seeing if they actually hate me first or something. Or if I hate them." Oh fuck... The antivaccine craze was in full swing right around now and he didn't know if this body came pre vaccinated. What if his new family was that kind of assholes? People who listened to idiot celebrities over doctors.
Please no crazies, please no crazies. He mentally chants while crossing his fingers as he goes into the house with the social worker.
"Uhmmm...hi." Having a new mom is weird. She Isn't even that much older than he was before. This will take some getting used to. "I'm Pidge...but you probably already knew that I guess." He looks kind of awkward standing there but he doesn't really know how to act here.
His new mom was actually kind of pretty? Okay no, nope, nobody should ever have the thought that their mom was attractive. Time to lock that thought in a box and drop that down a trench in his mind deeper than the deepest ocean trench.
She leads him up to his room. The room has blue walls, a loft bed with a desk beneath it, a toy chest, and sitting out several robot action figures and a Nerf gun.
"Well, I'll be downstairs, come get me if you need anything, I expect to see you at 12:30 for lunch, the clock is up there. Mark, my husband, will be home at 5, and dinner will be at 6"
With that, she walks out of his new room.
Uhhh... Shouldn't there be some questions or something? He was their new son and it was all 'LOLnope see you at lunch'. "Uhh...You've basically taken on a ten-year commitment here? shouldn't there be some questions or talking or something? It's not like you can just return me to the store if it doesn't work out after a year" He calls out to her as she leaves.
Nice room though. Glad to see they had money to spend on all this cool stuff for him.
Alistair wakes up. This is not his bedroom. In fact, it looks exactly like his childhood bedroom. Either this is a dream, or that fairy had been telling the truth. He looks down at his body. Definitely a kid. His hair doesn't feel long, and if he reaches into his pants...yup, definitely a penis. Either he has totally lost touch with reality, or he is actually back in his childhood as a cis guy. Wow. And now that he is fully awake, he really needs to go to the bathroom. He jumps up out of bed and is immediately aware of his body moving differently. He runs to the bathroom, making no attempt to move quietly, and once he gets there realizes he could finally pee standing up. He runs back up the stairs, still excited, and begins to make a mental list of everything different about this bedroom as compared to his actual childhood bedroom.