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Feb 23, 2020 6:58 PM
Bruce Banner is the Erogamer
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"...is that sexy? I'm not sure that's sexy. That just kind of looks gross."

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It's not supposed to be sexy, he just want to figure out if he can move his arm such that his proprioception asserts that his hand should be outside of his body. He can't explain this quite yet, for obvious reasons.

Also he might have to pop inside and wash his arm off real quick.

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That makes sense!

Lev will wait for him and try to figure out how one could sexily fit one's entire arm inside one's mouth.

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He gets his experimental result (he can do the thing, and it feels super weird), washes his arm off, and beats the Uber back to where Lev is waiting.

"Sorry you had to see that; I tried to give you a less gross angle but I probably should have done it in the bathroom. Just wanted to get it out of the way before I forgot again."

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"What were you trying to do?"

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"I wanted to see if I could angle my arm such that my hand ought to be sticking out my back. Turns out I can, and there's probably some way to exploit that for infinite energy or FTL travel or something but if there is I can't see it." Also he was hoping he'd get an ERO point for it, but mostly he wanted info and he did get that.

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+1 ERO for causing 'sticking your entire arm down your throat' to be sexy.
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"Oh, hey, I did get a point! Nice." Does that mean Lev is into weird biology stuff, or that he's into vaguely scientific speculation? Probably the latter. Also the car is here. Does Lev want shotgun or want him to be shotgun or want them both to be in the back? He's not super clear how two people seducing an Uber driver is supposed to work, spatially speaking. 

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Lev thinks about this and decides to take the back seat. 

The driver is a very pretty woman in her twenties!

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Bruce can take the front seat, then. "Hello. How's your day going?"

On the one hand, it's not a great opener. On the other hand, last week he couldn't have said hello to a woman while thinking about how pretty she was without stuttering.

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"Better now that you're here!"

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"Glad to hear it!" Come on Bruce, have some gonads . . . "I bet I can make it even better."

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She smiles at him. "How's that?"

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He glances back at Aarons to reassure himself that he isn't making a "what is wrong with you?" face, then says, "Ever been fingered while driving before?" What is wrong with him?

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"Nope," she says, "but it'd be fun to try!"

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The subsequent sex scene is one Lev mostly responds to by staring out the window trying to figure out how to subtly get Bruce to up BOD.

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Bruce is thinking about not crashing the car! Once the driver and the drive both finish, he also starts thinking about stats. ERO, BOD, and FUK are clearly the important ones. If getting a makeover doesn't help with BOD then maybe a wardrobe upgrade will, but he isn't super clear how one acquires clothes that don't have pictures of spaceships and/or puns on them.

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"All right, Sephora," Lev says.

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"Yup." He takes a deep breath and heads on in. Maybe they'll think he's just there to hang out with Aarons, who will actually look good in makeup, unlike Bruce, who will look like he's playing a girl in a LARP and half-assing the costume.

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"Hello!" says an extremely perky sales assistant. (Were Sephora sales assistants always that pretty? Bruce probably doesn't know because he never went into a Sephora.) "Are you here for our free makeover promotion?"

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No, the free makeover promotion is here for him. "We are!"

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"Great!" she says. "Come sit over here."

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Lev is flipping rapidly between happy and crushingly miserable.

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Yay but also oh no! Should he offer to let Lev go first? Should he avoid drawing attention to Lev in any way? Has putting points in SED generalized to normal human social skills at all, a normal person would be able to figure out what Lev needs from him here. A normal person wouldn't be standing here awkwardly failing to answer the salesperson. Shit. He gives Lev what he hopes is a sympathetic and encouraging look and goes where he was told.

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