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Nov 17, 2019 5:11 PM
Bruce Banner is the Erogamer
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"That's awesome. You should try to get SED and FUK as high as possible."

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"FUK is pretty great. And SED seems good, but like, I don't want to get too good at seducing people, you know? Not that I'm saying I'm good at it right now, I mean in the long run."

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"...Why would you not want to be maximally good at seducing people?"

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"Because I might accidentally seduce people who would be better off not being seduced? It's like being an excessively good salesperson or advertisement designer, but with higher stakes."

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"...I bet the Erogame is going to have a solution for that."

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"Ooh, yeah, it totally might, let me check." He flips through the potential perks list, looking for any fuckup-preventing ones he might have forgotten were on there.

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No Regrets: If, all things considered, a person would regret having sex with you, they will not be sexually attracted to you, no matter how high your SED is or what other in-game effects there are affecting their decision-making. This does not affect mind control or hypnosis. One point and one fragment. Available at SED 40.

Along the way, his eye might be caught by:

Milliways: Sometimes, when you open a door, it will open to an interdimensional bar which connects you to other worlds. While you are in Milliways, time stops, and you hear all languages as your native language. You may meet alternate versions of your friends, harem members, or nemeses. First drink is free. Watch out on Valentine's Day. 1 point. Available at ERO 20.
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"Yup, you're right. There's one here for making nobody be into me if it would be a bad idea for them." With a sketchy note about mind control, but he can patch that with Mesmer Inoculant. "Also, there's a perk for accessing parallel universes! Possibly with alternate versions of us!"

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"That sounds terrible. --I guess it sounds okay as long as I don't meet any other mes."

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"Hm, yeah, now that you mention it I don't want to meet more of me in particular either." Any alternate Bruces would be either better, which would be shameful for him and awful for the other one, or worse, which would be shameful for the other one and awful for him. One who was better in some ways and worse in others so it came out about even would be alright, he guesses. And if he met alternate Levs he would be sad that they didn't like him. "But maybe we could meet Newton or people from the future or something, that would be cool."

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"What's wrong with meeting alternate yous? Meeting alternate mes sounds awesome."

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"Well, if they're lame, that would suck, and if they're cool they'll think I'm lame and that would suck too. Dunno if Lev has the same objection or a different one." Also what if there was a him who was, like, an 1800s slaveowner or some shit, that would be a totally different flavor of awful and the fact that he's even thinking about it is one of those aforementioned dark secrets, because good people probably don't have that worry.

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"...Less of the worrying that my other selves would be less cool than me."

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"That's weird. Probably the other mes would be awesome and that's great and I can blow them."

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"Well, maybe we'll get lucky and Milliways--that's the interdimensional zone--will just have an orgy of Ashers in it." 

Right now, though, he wants to find some way to politely ditch this Asher so he and Lev can go to a makeup store without anyone they know seeing them. "I just realized you were probably in this library for some reason other than walking in on us."

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"...you mean I'm going to have to do math while I'm aware there's a magic sex game?"

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"I mean, it's up to you, I'm not gonna tell you what to prioritize." His Good Student perk is probably cheating but it's also so so important. Also, why did the game pick him instead of Asher anyway, Asher seems like a much more natural choice. "We can meet back up in a couple hours and talk magic sex game strategy?" And probably do a lot more than talk, let's be real here.

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"Sounds like a plan. I will do math and try to think of ways to increase ERO."

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"Cool. Hopefully I'll have some ideas too."

Once Asher has left: "So, now that you've seen what the Erogame does to coincidence, are you still down to go get a makeover with me?" Please say yes, doing it alone would be way more nerve-wracking.

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Yes. 

"...Maybe we should be working on getting six points of ERO in the next two days instead."

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"I'm hoping going around in makeup will get me some ERO, but if you have a more efficient idea I'm all ears." And if you're chickening out I'm chickening out too, he doesn't say.

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"...I'm not sure makeup pushes the bounds of probability that much. Men wore makeup sometimes even before the sex game."

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"Sure, but not, like, lots of it? If you'd rather do something else improbable we could, uh, what's improbably sexual but not actually rude?" His first thought is "make a porn vid of ourselves and try to get it to go viral", but that's scary in that it might actually work.

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"--Actually, I am going to replicate Clark and Hatfield's groundbreaking 1989 study about human sexual strategies."

He writes something on a piece of paper, looks around and finds a reasonably pretty girl a few stacks away. 

"Hello. I've been noticing you around campus. I find you to be very attractive. Would you like to have sex with me?"

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Wow, Aarons has balls of steel, metaphorically. Bruce finds this extremely attractive. Also he should clearly take this as a challenge and do the same thing but first he is going to stare at Aarons for a bit. Partly out of curiosity whether it will work and partly because of his latest attack of heart eyes. 

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