Direction

It is like her mind goes all directions, except the right ones, the correct paths that her thoughts should follow even if they are not pleasant. Unpleasant can be bearable if you feel you are doing the right thing.

But instead her mind stumbles, and notices it is stumbling, being aware of the pain is one thing, but being aware of... how you're hurting turns that pain into shame.

The shame compounds on itself. One shouldn't feel something so self-targeted as shame in a moment like this-

She has helped in the temple before and knows how this goes.

"Are you in there?" Says the muffled voice.

"Yes, mother." She replies, realizing that her voice was too soft she clears her throat. "I am here, mother."

"Good." Says the voice.

There is a quiet moment that leaves her to wonder why she couldn't guess the emotion in her mother's voice, even if it was through the door, she should have heard something, right?

Was that even the right thing to think? She didn't even know how to offer comfort to her mother.

"Give yourself sometime we can talk later and figure what to do." Her father's voice definitely sounded weak.

Strangely, she could recognize the tone, it was the one he would use at the temple when someone else had lost someone. He would approach them and say. "You can have as much time you want" or "And you can always come here for help" or "We can think of ways we can help you." Not the same words, of course, but similar tone. But weak.

"Yes, father." The hollow of her voice replies. Because the silence would've been unbearable.

She had stood up in the darkness at some point and her mind didn't offer sitting down as a option. So she staid there, standing like her parents were still there. They had quietly left to attend to urgent preparations. There were always some. Today just had one more.

She felt ashamed for thinking of things that way.

She continued to contemplate her situation, and that she shouldn't've been just be... missing her older brother.

Finally, her legs tired, and she took a few steps to grab something to wipe her face. The room was still dark, but her cleared vision left her suddenly aware of how close the window was, and she took a few fearful steps back.

Insane, it hadn't been an accidental fall. The steps he must had taken-

That train of thought made her almost open the door and leave the room. But she wasn't read yet.

She found herself staring at the door and wondering if this couldn't move her to leave. What else could possible do it? When will she go towards the right direction?

Felt

Henry knew that most of the time Gabe didn’t think through his actions. If Gabe didn’t fell off a cliff it was purely because Henry guided him out of way and Gabe never felt like jumping off cliffs.

But he was very shocked upon realizing that Gabe must’ve walked out into the snow while under a fever. They managed to live without a roof over their heads for quite a while without going through a fever between the two of them In retrospect it was amazing how they didn’t get sick more given their living conditions.

Henry almost left through the door at least three times. Once, immediately after realizing where Gabe must’ve went. Then he was having trouble properly tying his boots and the simple task would take so long that they he would remember more things to bring. It was even more stupid leaving without being prepared, even if every moment lost could mean life and death.

He left, trying not to think too hard that if Gabe fell of a cliff… Henry might feel like following him.