"She told me I was like her. I had the Force. She said if I stayed they'd find out, eventually, and then they'd do the same thing to me that they did to Jedi I captured."

Ah.

That.

Fuck.

Sharra nods once, acknowledging this information.

"So. I killed her. And I left."

Sharra doesn't have words. She does have words. So many words. Love, comfort, comparison. Recriminations. And yet-

She just holds him close. Feeling him in her head, his emotions and feelings and panic-thoughts. The loud internal screaming. The hateguiltpanic.

Sharra holds him close. Calming her thoughts. Stepping back from their emotions and leaving only peace. She can do this for him. If nothing else.

He buries his face back into her cleavage.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

She buries her nose into his hair and closes her eyes.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

"S'that the Jedi Code?"

"Some of it. The other parts involve 'no passion and only serenity'. I've never really been able to convince myself of that."

"But 'No Emotion' and 'No Chaos' are easy?"

"All or nothing, I guess. But it never really worked on me for long. Long enough to stave off a panic attack sometimes."

"Seems kinda absolute for a Jedi." 

She bends to kiss his face. "I wasn't ever a very good Jedi."

"Or, maybe the Jedi just weren't very good at what they were supposed to be doing." 

She kisses his snarking mouth. "You're preaching to the whole choir, my love."

He smirks into her kiss, "The whole choir? But Revan isn't here." 

"Be thankful for it. Once you get him singing, he never stops. Drove me insane."

"Huh. Didn't know he sang." 

"Musical prodigy. I was the only padawan that spent half her day learning musical theory and training my voice. Also drove me insane. All I wanted to do was wave around a lightsaber and get into trouble."

"Can you do... Force stuff with music?" 

"Yes, but that's not why he taught me. 'Culture', he said. That it's important to have skills that have nothing to do with the Force. Plus, it's helpful for relaxation and great for infiltration. I can't count the number times I went undercover as a musician for some mission or another. People talk around you. Don't really see you."

"-oh, yeah. That makes sense. We learned stuff like that, too. No music, but, serving staff, custodians, gardeners. Invisible people." 

She noses into his hair again and runs her nails down his back. "Guess it makes sense that we have some similar experiences."

"Hah. Running from the past, pretending to be what we're not..." 

"Mmm. No. We can be whatever and whoever we want to be. Even if that is mostly a lie that we tell ourselves. I still stand by it."

"So if, say, you wanna be a traveling masseuse and I'll be your bodyguard..."